Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: One instance of SCP-XXXX-2 is to be kept in secure storage in Research Site-23. Access to the object for testing purposes may only be authorized by a researcher with level 3 or higher clearance. Mobile Task Force Mu-4 ("Debuggers") has been assigned to locate and destroy any uncontained instances of SCP-XXXX-2. Application of amnestics and other information suppression procedures are to be carried out at the discretion of the MTF.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon known to affect television sets seemingly at random. It is currently believed that all makes and models of television set are potentially susceptible to this phenomenon. How SCP-XXXX spreads, and its criteria (if any) for which television sets to infect are unknown. It is estimated that █ out of every one million (1,000,000) television sets are infected. Infected television sets are designated as SCP-XXXX-2.
SCP-XXXX will manifest after an instance of SCP-XXXX-2 has been in continuous operation from anywhere between 15 minutes and 3.5 hours, and there is at least one sapient being within audio/visual range. At this point, any normal programming (including recorded media accessed via an external device, such as a VHS or DVD player) will be interrupted by an anomalous program, resembling a commercial advertisement in tone and structure. This program is hosted by a middle-aged Caucasian man, designated SCP-XXXX-1.1
The background of the program varies with each instance. Some of the settings observed include:
- A domestic kitchen
- An automotive garage
- A nondescript white void
- A city street
- An ornately furnished hallway
SCP-XXXX-1 will begin by introducing himself, and then addressing one occupant of the room by name. SCP-XXXX-1 will always speak in a language the target (hereafter referred to as the 'subject') can understand. Once he has the subject's attention, he will offer them a free product, described in hyperbolic marketing terms (e.g. "exclusive", "one - time - only" "the chance of a lifetime"). If the subject agrees to the offer (any verbal or gestural affirmative seems to suffice), SCP-XXXX will congratulate the subject on their choice, and state that the product is being delivered. The television set will then resume its normal programming. Within 20 seconds, the product will materialize somewhere within a 5 - meter radius of the subject. It has been confirmed that items delivered in this manner are displaced from their original locations. If the subject refuses the offer or does not respond, SCP-XXXX-1 will convey his disappointment and normal programming will resume.
SCP-XXXX was first brought to the Foundation's attention on ██/██/5█, when SCP-███ suddenly vanished from Foundation custody, and was subsequently located in a suburb of ███████, Quebec. SCP-███ was recaptured without serious incident, and in the process of the investigation, the existence and nature of SCP-XXXX was determined via interrogation of one Michael ████, who was subsequently given amnestics and released.
A partial list of 'products' offered via SCP-XXXX
- A █████ brand razor
- An empty milk carton
- A plastic bucket containing hundreds of small chunks of granite
- A 1954 Astra automobile (item appeared to be factory new)
- A decomposing human body, which SCP-XXXX-1 identified as belonging to [REDACTED]
- A United States W50 thermonuclear warhead
- An Apple corporation iPad tablet computer
- A pile of discarded plastic wrappers
- A wooden barrel, claimed by SCP-XXXX-1 to contain "pure anti-hydrogen". No discernible method of containing such a volatile substance was observed during the product demonstration.
- A human infant, 3 weeks in age, identified by SCP-XXXX-1 as 'little Abbie Smith'
- An unknown creature, vaguely resembling a cephalopod of the species Sepia Latimanus, although on-site researchers noted several anatomical differences. The creature was also capable of levitation via an unknown method, and was able to survive outside of water with no difficulties. SCP-XXXX-1 referred to it by a name that consisted of what can best be described as high-pitched whistling, which is unpronounceable in any known human language.
- [DATA EXPUNGED]
- A comic book from the ██████ publishing corporation, dating from 8/21/20██
Recording of SCP-XXXX testing session. Subject: Dr. ████