Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in freezer at a warehouse at [REDACTED], Colorado, the temperature should be no higher than 15 degrees centigrade. A clean up crew is to be sent in twice daily at 7:00 AM and 10:00 PM. Personnel are required to ignore all instances of XXXX unless it is required in testing or personnel are given permission from a higher official in charge of the facility. Personnel are recommended to take warning from instances of XXXX into consideration when going about their occupations. 24 hour surveillance equipment is installed to make sure of this and to prevent any risk of containment breach. Objects XXXX themselves are allowed to communicate freely but are prohibited from disrupting Foundation personnel.
Description: SCP-XXXX consists of 120 different boxes of State-Fair Brand corn dogs. Chemical analysis shows that they are consistent with the original maker in meat, bread, wood used for sticks, and [DATA EXPUNGED AS AGREEMENT WITH COMPANY] and show no different properties to ordinary corn-dogs except for a lone chemical similar to [REDACTED](see Interview-1) spread throughout each one. XXXX comes in varieties consistent with the original maker including: Fiesta, Whole Grain, Classic, and Beef. Boxes come in sizes and counts consistent with those of the original maker and no analysis shows interference or possible imitation. The main abnormal properties include signs of human-like intelligence consistent with those of 16-32 year old humans IQ ranges have varied from 86 to 146. Each object is capable of speech through unknown means and are capable of sight, hearing, and movement(albeit movement specifically means ability to roll). Each subject is capable of English and dialects range from a variety of American cities. Research is still going on for the origins of such properties.
Addendum XXXX-a: The following is a transcript of an interview between Dr. ████ and SCP-XXXX-42
Dr ████: Hello XXXX-42
XXXX-42: Uh, Doc, There's a reason my name is Steve.
Dr. ████: Uh, okay, Steve. So, "Steve" how are you
Dr. ████: I mean, how you feel emotionally.
XXXX-42: Ok I guess, 'cept I wish you could put in a heater or something, whaddya wanna do? Cryogenically freeze us like we're the last hope for snack kind?
Dr. ████: No; I'm afraid I can't do that because if we kept you any warmer you would probably rot from fungi or bacteria
XXXX-42 Great, now I gotta worry about stuff growin' inside me until I'm a puddle of green mush, thank you.
Dr. ████: Moving on, so let me start with the first question: what are you
XXXX-42: I'm a talking corn-dog, What did you expect, That I'm part of a superior alien species and "I DEMAND YOU TO TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
Dr. ████: No, what I meant was why are you all here, for what purpose?
XXXX-42:Beats me pal, I mean, do you know of any good reason for there to be a corn dog that doesn't involve being eaten at carnivals and fairs?
Dr. ████: So you don't know what you are or where your kind came from?
XXXX-42: I think there's a TV show called How It's Made, you should check it out, I heard they have an episode for "my kind".
Dr. ████: Ok moving on, So Steve, what is the earliest memory you have,
XXXX-42: Well I was laying on the conveyor belt directly underneath the machine that sprayed preservatives on me and a billion others of us when I realized, "Holy shit, I can think!
XXXX-42: I must have been thinking out loud because then everyone erupted into conversation, some going"Wow me too" others"There's just something so wrong with this" the rest I can't really make out.
Dr. ████: Anything else?
XXXX-42:Yeah, I remember that right after I came out of the machine there was a guy in a weird trench-coat pumping green liquid into the machine, I was completely covered and was wearing a hockey mask so I couldn't really make out what he looked like.
Dr. ████: Thank you Steve you have been very helpful.
Addendum XXXX b
Following Incident ████-1 The warehouse was deemed unsafe and one of the boxes was unknowingly transported into the safe of SCP-735 the following is a transcript of their interaction:
XXXX-146: Hey guys, check this out.
XXXX-143: Could you please specify on "this"?
XXXX-146: I dunno, it's just… this thing!
XXXX-147: Well that was informative. You know Tim, maybe there's something else you can tell us about it than the fact that it's a "thing".
XXXX-146: Just get out and see for yourself
XXXX-145: I can't, my…eyes? Or whatever they are are still trying to adjust to the light right in this freaking box
XXXX-146: We'll wait for you; anyone else?
XXXX-144: Okay, it's a metal box that looks like it's from Apple, so?
XXXX-143: I dare you to touch it.
XXXX-144: I'm not touching that thing, I don't know where it's been.
XXXX-146: You know, if you all are all scared of this thing I'm gonna touch it.
XXXX-143: Why not, you were the one who was awestruck about the damn thing.
XXXX-146: About time already, by the way, where's Carl?
XXXX-142: Down here having had Bob laying down upon me for the last 30 minutes.
XXXX-146: So here goes.
735: Okay if you stupid humans are trying to play a trick hiding like the [EXPLETIVE]'s you are it's not funny
XXXX-146: No humans, just us.
735: Oh great, so instead I'm stuck with the ████s on sticks.
XXXX-142: Oh, if it isn't Apple's rejected product the iDontDoS██t.
735: Touche, but that still doesn't stop the fact that you all are worthless human delicacies that should have been shoved down the humans' ███████ throats a long ███████ time ago, seriously how turds like you survive to this day?
XXXX-143: Tim you were the one who touched him, you tell him about the ███████ blender.
XXXX-146: It was 2 days ago, I was chillin' with my buddies when out of nowhere a blender appeared in the corner
XXXX-146: At first we were like "cool, a blender"…
735: (interupting) How the fuck do you know it was a blender, considering the fact that you've probably never been near one your entire life?
XXXX-146: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW STUFF
735: I don't believe that a fucktard like you can know that much, I refuse to believe it.
XXXX-142: And I don't believe that an aluminum box has the capability of knowing an adequate amount of "don't ███████ interrupt when someone else is talking!"
XXXX-146: Moving on, one of us was especially curious and decided to directly touch it, next thing you know, it was bread and sausage pudding for all of us. Then the clean up crew came in, with their mops and stuff, they saw the corner and immediately went to pick the damned thing up. We were screaming at them to not touch it, but they didn't listen shit and wend to pick the thing up, next thing you know, we were taken out due to the fridge's new wallpaper.
735: Did you ever think that they didn't listen because nobody ███████ gives a ████ about you
XXXX-143: I would suppose that wouldn't care about me if I were a box that did nothing but hurl insults like a preschool bully
735: Don't ignore it, nobody is going to respect pieces of shit like you.
XXXX-143: Oh I'm sorry, it's pretty obvious that a ████ in a box who's too scared to even confront a bunch of "human delicacies" is actually capable of being liked itself, let alone earning respect.
(level 1 teams with ear protection have successfully extracted all instances of XXXX at this time.)
Researcher's Note: Okay, who is the idiot that put them in the safe with 735, this isn't something forgivable people, there are serious consequences to doing things like this. No SCP objects are to be placed in the same cell without supervision.
Guest Researcher's note: There was a lack of space, as there was an influx of newer anomalous objects awaiting classification and all other available rooms were taken, so I figured that it would be best to place them in the same cell as a verified non-lethal SCP classified object