Broom

Item #: SCP-659

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-659 is to be stored in a double-locked closet, from which it is to be removed only for purposes of testing. The handle of SCP-659 is to be wrapped in plastic film to prevent accidental skin contact, and the bristles are to be enclosed in a Plexiglas shield. When testing SCP-659, only D-class personnel are to remove the plastic film; automated systems are to be used for the application of fresh plastic film.

Description: SCP-659 is a metal-and-plastic push broom, with the logo of The Factory embossed on the handle and on the bristle head. Any live human whose skin touches SCP-659 - either the handle, bristle head, or bristles - will immediately be cured of any and all psychiatric and psychological disorders; however, such individuals also lose their creativity, imagination, sense of humor, intellectual curiosity, sexuality, and initiative (henceforth collectively referred to as 'vivacity').

Interestingly, SCP-659 is able to suppress or cancel the memetic and/or psychological effects of several other SCPs (including SCP-053, SCP-426, SCP-637, and SCP-708 — see test log); however, the concomitant loss of vivacity means that its usefulness for information-gathering is limited (see interview logs).

The psychological components of chemical addictions are immediately canceled upon contact with SCP-659, greatly facilitating withdrawal; all tendencies towards addictive behavior are likewise canceled.

Subjects whose disorders were the result of brain injuries, or of brain tumors, will experience the typical relief from symptoms and loss of vivacity; however, symptoms will gradually return over a period of weeks. Vivacity does not seem to return. Mental retardation and other, milder forms of learning disability do not seem to be affected.

SCP-XXX

Broom of Sanity

Class: Safe

Containment protocols: SCP-XXX is to be stored in a double-locked closet, from which it is to be removed only for purposes of testing. The handle of SCP-XXX is to be wrapped in plastic film to prevent accidental skin contact, and the bristles are to be enclosed in a Plexiglas shield. When testing SCP-XXX, only D-class personnel are to remove the plastic film; automated systems are to be used for the application of fresh plastic film.

Description: SCP-XXX is a metal-and-plastic push broom with the logo of The Factory embossed on the handle and on the bristle head. Any live human whose skin touches SCP-XXX - either the handle, bristle head, or bristles - will immediately be cured of any and all psychiatric and psychological disorders; however, such individuals also lose their creativity, imagination, sense of humor, intellectual curiosity, and initiative (henceforth collectively referred to as 'vivacity').

Interestingly, SCP-XXX is able to suppress or cancel the memetic and/or psychological effects of several other SCPs (see test log); however, the concomitant loss of vivacity means that its usefulness for information-gathering is limited (see interview logs).

Sexual orientation is not affected by SCP-XXX, although paraphilias are.

Subjects whose disorders were the result of chemical imbalances will manifest increased appetites and, if these appetites are denied, decreased metabolic rates.

The psychological components of chemical addictions are immediately canceled, greatly facilitating withdrawal; all tendencies towards addictive behavior are likewise canceled.

Subjects whose disorders were the result of brain injuries, or of brain tumors, will experience the typical relief from symptoms and loss of vivacity; however, symptoms will gradually return over a period of weeks. Vivacity does not seem to return. Mental retardation and other, milder forms of learning disability do not seem to be affected.


Extended test logs for SCP-659.


Test: 659-053-1
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-053-1 exposed to SCP-659 and sent into SCP-053's containment facility. Subject remains in containment facility for ten (10) minutes without interacting with SCP-053. After removal from containment facility, subject is placed into quarantine and observed for sixty (60) days, during which no aberrant behaviors are detected.


Test: 659-053-2
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-053-2 exposed to SCP-659 and sent into SCP-053's containment facility. Subject remains in containment facility for twenty (20) minutes (ten minutes longer than the maximum safe exposure time) without interacting with SCP-053. After removal from containment facility, subject is placed into quarantine and observed for ninety (90) days, during which no aberrant behaviors are detected.


Test: 659-053-3
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-053-3 exposed to SCP-659 and sent into SCP-053's containment facility. Subject is told to attempt conversation with SCP-053.

AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT; DIRECT EXPOSURE TO AUDIO RECORDINGS OF SCP-053 ARE CONSIDERED HAZARDOUS
D-659-053-3: Hello, little girl. How are you?
SCP-053: *unintelligible*
D-659-053-3: That's nice. My name is [REDACTED]. What's yours?
SCP-053: *unintelligible*
D-659-053-3: That's a pretty CLARK FORK PARK BARK MARK GNAW GNAW <TRANSCRIPTION ERROR>"

D-659-053-3's corpse was removed via its safety line; autopsy revealed that cause of death was massive cardiac rupture.


Test: 659-053-4
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-053-4 exposed to SCP-659 and sent into
SCP-053's containment facility. Subject is told to remove eye shield and make eye contact with SCP-053.

Subject complies; SCP-053 maintains eye contact for thirty-seven (37) seconds before losing interest. Subject remains in containment facility for seven (7) more minutes, then begins experiencing respiratory difficulty; this is the result of a massive nosebleed. Subject is extracted from the containment facility by his safety line, but dies within minutes of extraction. Autopsy reveals massive cranial, cervical, and ocular hemorrhages; however, no cerebral hemorrhages were detected.


Test: 659-053-5
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-053-5 exposed to SCP-659 and sent into SCP-053's containment facility without protective gear.

Subject remains in containment facility for twelve (12) minutes without interacting with SCP-053, then dies; autopsy reveals cause of death to be a massive cardiac rupture.


Test: 659-053-6
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-053-6 exposed to SCP-659 and sent into SCP-053's containment facility without protective gear but with SCP-659. Subject ordered to not break skin contact with SCP-659 at any time.

Subject remains in containment facility for sixty-eight (68) minutes before being extracted. Medical examination reveals that subject's blood pressure has increased by 450%. Subject receives emergency [REDACTED]; however, during treatment, subject releases grip on SCP-659 and promptly chokes to death on own tongue.


Test: 659-637-1
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-637-1 exposed to SCP-637, in the form of a drawing by SCP-637-2.

Subject begins to complain about presence of cat in his head.

Subject exposed to SCP-659.

Subject ceases complaining, and reports that he is not being bothered by a cat in his head. SCP-637-2 reports that "kitty's very upset".


Test: 659-708-1
Date: ██/██/████

D-659-708-1 exposed to SCP-708. Subject becomes agitated, and repeatedly demands to "pretty please" be allowed to drive the "big orange forklift".

Subject exposed to SCP-659.

Subject's agitation ceases.

Subject asked if she still wishes to drive SCP-708. Subject responds in the negative. When asked why not, subject explains that she has not had proper forklift training.

Subject is given key to SCP-708 and told to sit in driver's seat. Subject complies.

Subject told to insert key in ignition and start SCP-708. Subject attempts to comply, but SCP-708 does not start.

Subject told to dismount SCP-708 and return key to personnel. Subject complies.


<Rights> I need to finish writing Rights' story
<Voct> okay
<Voct> the whole point of my SCP
<Voct> is that it enforces normality
<Voct> http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-659
<Rights> Oooh
<Rights> Reminds me of one of my post-scpocalypse ideas
<Rights> Where the SCPocalypse was that, well…it's that the world became mundane
<Voct> so what do you think of mine?
<Rights> I like it
<Voct> enough to upvote?
<Rights> Mayheps
<Voct> Thank you, milady

<Pig_catapult> sure
<Pig_catapult> link?
<Voct> http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-659
<Voct> are you 100% normal?
<Pig_catapult> Is /anyone/ 100% normal?
<Voct> would you like to be made 100% normal?
<Voct> by force?
<Pig_catapult> definitely not
<Voct> to have your sanity externally imposed?
<Pig_catapult> I'd lose my boyfriend
<Voct> so what do you think of 659?
<Pig_catapult> still reading, but it sounds damn creepy so far
<Voct> here, I want the terrifying horror to be
<Voct> sanity
<Pig_catapult> *nod*

<Voct> did you look at mine?
<Kald> The Broom?
<Kald> Yeah
<Kald> I found it lacking
<Kald> Sparse
<Kald> Not a steak dinner
<Kald> Just the bone
<Voct> what would you suggest?
<Kald> I really don't know
<Voct> the idea here is for sanity to be scary
<Kald> Yeah.
<Kald> Kinda doesn't scare me, so I don't know what to say here
<Voct> are you 100% normal?
<Kald> No/
<Kald> No.*
<Voct> do you want to be made 100% normal?
<Kald> No.
<Kald> Not after reading thi- OH GOD DAMN IT
<Kald> Well it has an effect on me

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