Cabinet of Curiosities:
Description: An olive wood cup, dated to 1st century B.C. Analysis indicates trace residue of Levantine grape wine, myrrh and human blood in the cup. An Aramaic-language inscription reads "Joseph of Arimathea". The letters "GALAH" appear roughly carved near the base, with the style of lettering indicating a pre-Norman British origin. Cup was found in a bejeweled reliquary case.
Recovery: [DATA REDACTED]
Description: A collection of mineral fragments, approximately 20 cm x 16 cm, cemented together and encased in a roughly elliptical silver frame. The fragments are black in color and composed of agate with trace amounts of iron. Analysis suggests that the fragments are meteoric or impactite in origin.
Recovery: █████, Arabia. Replaced with replica.
Description: Jade seal, dated to third century B.C. The seal is square, with one corner chipped off and restored with gold. The words "Having received the Mandate from Heaven, may he lead a long and prosperous life" are inscribed on the seal in an archaic form of Chinese seal script.
Recovery: ███████, China.
Description: A collection of fragments of cedar, pine and cypress wood which, when re-assembled, comprise two beams, the first being approximately 3.7 meters in length and the second being approximately 2 meters in length, with the two beams having an aggregate mass of approximately 75 kg. The collection also includes iron nails. There is residue of vinegar and human blood on the nails and some of the wood fragments, with the blood matching that from XXX-A.
Recovery: Various locations. Largest single fragment recovered from Gishen Mariam, Ethiopia.
Description: A short iron sword, a cashew-shaped jade magatama bead pierced with a hole, and a circular mirror bearing an eight-pointed star design.
Recovery: Nagoya, Tokyo and Ise, Japan
Description: A healthy, unblemished cow, red in color. All of the cow's hairs are absolutely straight.
Recovery: ██████, Israel
Description: A handwritten manuscript, written in the Punjabi language in Gurmukhī script and dating from the 16th-18th centuries.
Recovery: Amritsar, India
Description: A human left canine tooth, with trace amounts of ash of burnt sandalwood and pork proteins.
Recovery: Kandy, Sri Lanka
Description: A collection of rectangular plates, approximately 26 kg in total mass. The plates are comprised of gold and are extensively inscribed in a dialect of Egyptian used in the Western hemisphere between approximately 2600 BCE and 421 CE.
Recovery: Cumorah, New York.
Description: A single leather sandal with two straps. Footwear dated to c. 7th century.
Recovery: Topkapı Palace, Turkey. Replaced with replica.
Description: A Roman spear, dated to c. 1st century. The blade of the spear is surrounded by a golden sleeve bearing Latin text and affixing an iron nail to the blade.
Recovery: Schatzkammer, Vienna. Replaced with replica.
Description: A bow, decorated with gold embossment and with glowing ends. A Sanskrit inscription near the grip bears the word "Gāṇḍīva".
Recovery: Kurukshetra, India
Anomalous items errata:
Item Description: An olive wood cup, dated to 1st century B.C. Analysis indicates trace residue of Levantine grape wine, myrrh and human blood in the cup. An Aramaic-language inscription reads "Joseph of Arimathea". The letters "GALAH" appear roughly carved near the base, with the style of lettering indicating a pre-Norman British origin. Cup was found in a bejeweled reliquary case. Anomalous properties include [DATA EXPUNGED].
Date of Recovery: 07-██-18██
Location of Recovery: ████████████████████
Current Status: Lost, presumed destroyed during SCP-682 containment breach on 08-██-████
Item Description: Cylinder of unknown metal, approx. 4 cm in length, 1.2 cm in diameter, which cannot be moved from its present position. Apparently indestructible. Geological analysis of the rock in which the item was located indicates that it has occupied its present position relative to the Earth's center for at least 700 million years, notwithstanding thrust faulting and continental drift.
Date of Discovery: ██-██-████
Location of Discovery: ████████████, Kentucky in the course of mountaintop removal coal mining by means of high explosives. Item was suspended in midair after removal of the surrounding rock.
Current Status: Used as a coathanger peg in new Foundation facility constructed at that location.
Item Description: A laser printer (HP LaserJet 5550dtn Workgroup model) which, due to an apparently unreproducible error, continually produces pages of printed text consisting of seemingly random characters and symbols at a rate of 25 pages per minute when printer is powered on, whether or not any paper is fed into the printer.
Date of Discovery: ██-██-████
Location of Discovery: Accounts payable department of administrative offices at Foundation Site ██.
Current Status: Object remains on site. The Foundation has applied the apparently infinite supply of paper to a number of useful purposes such as scratch paper (using the unprinted back of the pages), in shredded form as cage lining for animals, and as fuel.