Item #: SCP-1337

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: One example of SCP-1337 is to be maintained on a Site-17 computer, with no networking capability whatsoever. Research into neutralization of SCP-1337 may be carried out on this sample, by D-class personnel under remote instruction. When infection is indicated elsewhere, MTF Delta-17 (“Inside Voices”) is to carry out Procedure-1337-Omega (see Addendum).

MTF Delta-17 members, and researchers attached to SCP-1337, are to be equipped at all times with dark goggles, intended to make it impossible to see images on the screens of infected computer systems. Any personnel exposed to SCP-1337 will undergo the same procedures as infected human subjects. D-Class personnel exposed for experiments must be kept away from any computer equipment until termination.

Description: SCP-1337 is a memetic computer virus, which transmits itself through Internet postings, particularly in image boards. Upon exposure, human subjects will find their communication skills begin to decay; this will be indicated first in typed communications, in which the subject will begin to type in all capital letters, ignore punctuation and spelling, and gradually descend into a state in which such communications involve a combination of letters, numbers, and other symbols, commonly referred to as “leetspeak”. (Note that infection can be detected through a subject's insistence on spelling the term as “l33tspeek”.) Over time, the infection will also corrupt written communications, visual attractions (for instance, subject may begin to take large numbers of photographs of cats, then label them using the corrupted spelling, or “lolspeak”), and even verbal communications (references to disapproved conditions being “gay”, taunting opponents in a contest with accusations of the subject having enjoyed sexual relations with the opponent's mother, etc).

Addendum 1: Procedure-1337-Omega involves utilization of Delta-17 gas grenades, which contain a combination of aerosolized B-class amnesiac and Compound-1337, a hypnotic gas which increases suggestibility in 99.8% of human subjects. Once all humans exposed to SCP-1337 have been subdued with Delta-17 grenades, MTF Delta-17 is to take advantage of the susceptibility period to use a high-speed hypnagogic reeducation device, employing Recording 1337-3. (Note that previous versions of Recording 1337 may not have the desired effect, as personnel recording them had made certain grammatical errors of their own.) Successful application of Procedure-1337-Omega will erase all effects of SCP-1337 from subjects, and provide them with a full education in correct English grammar and spelling.

Addendum 2: Tempting as it may be, all personnel are to refrain from using Procedure-1337-Omega on anyone who has not been exposed to SCP-1337. We are here to contain potentially dangerous items, not to substitute for a proper education. Anyone caught misusing Procedure-1337-Omega will be subject to disciplinary action. - Dr. ████████

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