Mr. Self Destruct
rating: 0+x

I broke the fucking pattern.

How could I have broken the pattern? It was so unbelievably easy. I just had to keep my fucking head down, and it'd all be fine. I could fuck up. Fucking up was in the pattern. But I couldn't fucking break it. I couldn't fucking defy it. I fucked up. I Fucked Up.

Bugle. Lights up. Ten minutes. Out of bed. Dress, pen, cafeteria. Same fucking ugly floor, same chair, same tap, same tap, same tap, pass

don't look up, don't look up, don't look up, don't look up and I did. I looked up. I broke the pattern.

You broke the pattern.

How could I have fucking broken the pattern?

Keep driving.

Fuck! Fuck! And I looked up, and it was—

Was me. I was there.

It was me! I was there! I was staring across at me! The chair gave away. The table gave away. I—

Eyes on the road.

What the fuck are you?

You.

Me.

Does it matter? Go through your diagnostics. Work it out.

Fuck. Fuck. God damn it. Fuck. Do people not see this blood? Do people not see it? I'm fucking drenched! I'm fucking soaking and nobody even looks!

And why is that? Why are you covered in blood?

I—

Go on. Keep going.

I gave way. The floor failed. Like it was just a mold culture sitting on top. Just fucking broke. It was all there was. It was fucking blood all the way down. And, and they were fucking pulling me—

Blood?

Blood, it was fucking blood!

It happens.

Fuck off. Fuck off. FUCK OFF. I was choking. I was fucking drowning on it. The shock got me. I breathed it in and I was drowning and no amount of coughing or hacking up could get it out, and—

Who was pulling you?

THEY were pulling me man, they were pulling me fucking down, I could feel their hands fucking grasping me, I can still feel their fucking hands! The fucking blood! The fucking blood! It was in my mouth, in my nose, in my fucking lungs.

But you're still here.

And I wish I fucking wasn't! I fucking wish I wasn't! How am I going to wash this off? How am I going to fucking clean myself after this? I got fucking pulled through, I'm unclean, I'm fucking unclean! And I got pulled through. I got pulled through. They pulled me through and I fell outside and you—

I caught you. I helped you back.

And, and you stood me back up, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What are we going to do! What am I going to do! Where are we fucking driving? Where are we going to fucking go?

I'll find out. Don't worry about it. Keep going.

I can't! I can't fucking keep going! Fuck, fuck, I have to, I have to keep going. I stood up and I, we just fucking walked. We walked. There was a guy outside, right outside, getting into his car.

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