they dont know the amnestics dont work and i
hope
they

EXPLODE

inbetweenthecreeping hate sen hate sa hate tion hate head hate breast hate arms hate trunk hate hands hate legs hate feet,
reborn into a fœtal world of burning hate and darkness, no food no water for the dead, the dying, just amnestic-laced oxygen pellet peristaltic dropped through airlock; i grab it as it falls small as sugarcube and close my fistaround it crunch it in my grip, wind up haymaker the cold steel

EXPLODE

burning arm hate hand, animal caged, weapon cased, everything in proper place in samsara in cycle the circle swept round, sphere explosive vessel for explosive man, cage for animal, case for weapon, containing flesh containing hate containing everything and nothing, dust blown back to life blown back to dust

there's no comfort in the interludes of thought and breath so graciously allotted, no comfort in the gracious mercy to forget, no comfort left but the waste of oxygen i crush my fist to burn brighter, bust hotter, pennies on the dollar stolen, earned, in time i will waste a dollar and then ten and then ten thousand, thousand million, i feel the carbon building in my blood and shove my fist into my mouth and

EXPLODE

slither back the cube falls on my lap i hold it in my palm, bring it to my ear and hear it hiss, reacting with itself, combustion presenting external it smells of life and joy, oxygen and amnestic— a sweet smell to remember, and i remember, not well,

i remember: i explode, this makes me dangerous; i'm a person, this also makes me dangerous; that's why i'm in this cell, too weapon to release, too human to destroy, that's why i'm in this cell, defang through bomb disposal, deperson by forgetting, the cheapest option, most ethical option, the safest option, most sensible option,

i bring my palm to my mouth and slip the pellet in hiss give way to bite, sweet turns bitter, i bite down as it burns brighter hotter faster, life and joy and burning flesh fuming out my nose as I thrust my hands onto the containment vessel, bring my head back, rocket forward and

EXPLODE

not person, person-shaped, burning crude in form of man, plant a palm against the hatch above abyss and swing full strength EXPLODE, burning arm bright hand , fuck light, fuck food, fuck water, fuck humans, fuck the power that gave me life and the power that keeps me here, cock back left jab EXPLODE, burn arm , burn hand in fucking hell, EXPLODEhandEXPLODEhand
EXPLODE
EXPLODE
EXPLODE
EXPLODE
EXPLODE
ka-chunk.






there is the stench of man,

and the scorch of light.

i reach out my hands—