Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is not to be opened under any circumstances.
Note: At the time this directive was issued, SCP-XXX consisted only of what is now known as "SCP-XXX.000001." This directive is considered to apply only to that item. Nonetheless, it is retained in this form for the sake of historical accuracy. For further details, consult document SCP.000076, "SCP-XXX Briefings."
Do not open that document. Do not open any documents comprising SCP-XXX.
SCP-XXX.000001 is to be kept in unobserved in a standard secure room with two guards stationed outside. Guards are to make daily reports and upload them to the SCP-XXX databanks in accordance with procedures outlined in SCP-XXX.000022, "Daily Reports," and SCP-XXX.000314, "Amendments to SCP-XXX.000022."
Any staffmember found to question the authenticity of SCP-XXX.000001 is to be immediately reported up the chain of command. This includes, but is not limited to, refering to SCP-XXX.000001 as "Pandora's Bulls██t," "a big waste of time and resources," or "a damned can of worms." Staffmembers who find themselves sympathetic to these ideas are expected to report themselves for debriefing, parapsychological treatment and possible reassignment.
SCP-XXX.000002 through SCP-XXX.420022 shall be kept in secure SCP databanks, as detailed in SCP-XXX.000003, "Initial Recommendations," along with SCP-XXX.000004.001 through SCP-XXX-000004.302, "Additional Stipulations and Supplemental Documentation."
All data generated by examination of SCP-XXX or its component parts is to be duly documented, reclassified as part of SCP-XXX, and stored in the SCP-XXX databanks. Monthly backups are to be made and reclassified as part of SCP-XXX.
Description: SCP-XXX.000001 is an unlabeled 425g (15 oz) tinplate steel can. It was discovered on SCP premises in the possession of D-40032, along with SCP-XXX.000002, a note reading "Do not open the can of worms." Investigations into its nature and origin have reached the following conclusions, among others:
"The lack of SCP documentation on the subject may indicate that the subject corrupts data relating to its own existence. It would be prudent to take certain countermeasures until the question of the subject's nature can be answered." -SCP-XXX.000003, "Initial Recommendations"
"Our review indicates that, at the very least, the subject cannot directly erase data. Whether this is a result of the backups and security measures or if the object itself is simply inert requires further study." -SCP-XXX.000007.002, "On the Nature of SCP-XXX"
"SCP-XXX is a hoax. A standard investigation has revealed the subject to match the description of a can of tomato sauce missing from the cafeteria storehouses. D-40032 has been duly terminated. D-Class personnel are to be placed under increased surveillance until further notice." -SCP-XXX.000007.012, "Notice Regarding D-Class Personnel"
"The loss of the sole witness to the genesis of this whole mess has proven problematic. The nature of SCP-XXX.000001 may never be determined. What is clear at this point is that our intitial countermeasures against data manipulation have taken on a life of their own. Unless there is a change in Foundation policies, SCP-XXX will continue to grow indefinitely." SCP-XXX.000325.0076, "Malthus and Data Systems"
For more extensive details on its composition and history, researchers may submit and document a written request for permission to examine documents SCP-XXX.000002 through SCP-XXX.420022.
SCP-XXX.000002 and higher are the vast array of documents and recordings relating containment measures, along with every account, measurement, observation, contact, and event relating to SCP-XXX. The amount of data comprising SCP-XXX.000003 and higher grows at an exponenential rate as a natural consequence of containment measures. As of 8/8/2010, estimates put the amount of data currently stored at 32TB. A sampling of the database is provided below.
Speculation 81,770 search results for "speculation." Pages 1-5 displayed. Search history catalogued as "SCP-XXX.007000.2314.0589.02"
…speculate that containment procedures may represent a danger greater than SCP-XXX.001 itself. (editor's note—this refers to the "can." SCP-XXX.000001 has gone through six decimal changes as more information has been catalogued.) It appears that the corporate culture of the Foundation provides a unique breeding ground for a sort of memetic 'cancer' that threatens to overwhelm our data storage capabilities. We suggest a moratorium on further study, discussion, and data generation… Read more
…and growing. At this time, a search for "speculation" gives 300 results. Our current search and retrieval algorythms are projected to become inadequate within five to ten years, after which we will begin to experience loss of… Read more
…rid of it. Couldn't we just pass it off to somebody else and hope for the best? The GOC, or heck, recoup some losses through MCD?" Dr. Bellerose speculated. "It wouldn't help. The problem is the data, not the subject. We are currently looking at proposals for reclassifying the data itself as an SCP and putting containment measures in place… Read more
…impossible to determine at this time if SCP-XXX is actually trying to manipulate its own containment measures. This researcher doesn't care to speculate further until the investigation has been completed. For the time being, I recommend that we add the following stipulations to SCP's containment measures: No data on SCP-XXX may be removed, lost or erased, especially that data relating to its containment; Regular backups must be made and checked against the primary data; and finally, all documents relating to SCP-XXX must be treated with suspicion… Read more
…know it's dangerous to speculate, but I'm beginning to think that SCP-XXX's containment measures contain a memetic weapon planted by the Foundation's enemies in order to overwhelm its data storage systems and sow self-doubt and paranoia among its members. Unfortunately, now that I have reached that conclusion, I am now required to request reassignment to another project in accordance with containment procedures documented in SCP-XXX.000004.012… Read more
<Pistonrage>: dxmagi… additionally it doesn't feel detached. and the containment seems excessive(something that is pointed out in the article) for a "Safe" SCP.
<Pistonrage>: it may just be the way I'm reading it but all the quotes are more of a personal expression than the scientific approach needed.
<dxmagi>: Oh, I getcha.
<Pistonrage>: like several of the quoted lines basically state that the can doesn't actually do anything. and it could be written up like…
<Pistonrage>: Several of the reasrchers have expressed concern that the SCP is actually mundane see files… xxxxxxx
<Pistonrage>: it keeps the enrty short and clean
<Pistonrage>: though it also just seems like a crazy version of http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-014-j