- Random Notes
- Untitled Tale
- The Giant Isopod Acapella
- Memetically Targeting Animals
- Horseshoe Crab Advisor
- Holy Book
- Tea and Tentacles Take 2
- Musically Activated Monster
- The Duck Is En Route
- An Invisible Giant Wooden Duck
- To be determined
- God No More
Chipmunk of electronic Freudian slips
Long term memory - sensory memory duration swap
Remake memory alteration machine; it has been successfully deconstructed and turned into a customized rig, everything is mercury based, needle goes through eye and pierces bone behind eye, found in Delaware
SCP-6969-j: Wooden dick that causes people to only speak in sexual innuendo
Make SCP based on CORN!!!
Erotic fanfic? Trollfic? Both?
Make a functional Mary Sue SCP: memetic effect that everyone loves her, turns to hate and abuse, impossible to kill, exceeds at tests, some kind of beneficial effect from causing her harm/distress
Unknowable eldritch creature, only wants to have tea and watch movies
Wish fulfillment scp: bring back Gracie as regenerating dog, family gets to keep her… Try not to cry while working on it
Add more Delaware to SCP
Memetically Targeting BEES (maybe insert spiders, ants, wasps, hornets, etc.)
Giant centipede with head of a skinned wolf. Speaks in fragments of techno songs.
Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?
They're awake, right? Can we get a clearer signal? Okay. Ahem.
Hello, I see you are awake. I am Dr. Emmitt and I will be guiding you through this experiment. Now, you are likely experiencing a sense of amnesia, this is to be expected; you were accidentally given the wrong dosage of the wrong amnestic. You are D-2375, a former death row prisoner who accepted our offer of a full pardon for a minimum of one month of assisting in our research here at the SCP Foundation. You are currently in one of our artificial reality chambers and…
What? No, artifical reality, not virtual reality.
Yes, there is a difference. Now, will you let me finish?
Okay, where was I…oh yes, you are in one of our artificial reality chambers. Using cutting edge technology, we have created the means to create and manipulate what is essentially a miniature universe. Your purpose is to test the functions of the chamber to ensure that it is running properly and to work out any glitches. Now, while everything is technically real, rest assured that we are in complete control and can end the simulation at any time.
Be patient, I'm getting to that. Now…
No, you can not opt out of this. Now, if I may continue…
Listen, you cannot escape from the chamber. The room you are in is not real. No matter how hard you bang on the walls and scream, you will never get out and, if you did, you would find nothing outside. So if you don't want to spend an eternity, and I do mean an eternity, trapped in a empty, featureless, grey room, you will settle down.
Uh, Steve, can you run the pacification protocol? No, not that one, the one we use with the mice. Well adjust it for human levels, you moron!
Okay, now, if you do not want to be electrocuted again, you will sit down, shut up, and let me finish. Get it?
Good, now, ahem…The way this experiment will be run is rather simple. We will run you through several simulations, you are not required to take any specific actions. To ensure that everything is working properly, I will narrate what should be happening and what actions you have taken; it is your job to inform us if what you are experiencing diverges from what we are seeing. Now, as long as you listen to me and cooperate, this will be over in no time. Resist, on the other hand, and I will make the world the worst trip you have ever been on. Any questions?
No, you do not need to worry about…What? What do you mean they… Son of a bitch! Okay, um, I have just been informed that this simulation will NOT be using the safety protocols for this run. So, yes, you can die.
I understand this is upsetting, but you will need to calm down before…
Fuck it. Steve!
There much better. Now, every time you start freaking out on me, Dr. Hashler will have to pacify you. For your sake, I hope Pavlov was right. Well then, let's begin the experiment, shall we?
Too bad. Rose, begin the simulation.
Okay, it seems that your audio, visual, and tactile senses are working properly. Now, we just need to confirm your olfactory and gustatory. There's a table in front of you. There's a plate of scrambled eggs, some orange juice, and a small bottle on it. First, we need you to open the bottle and smell the contents.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-xxxx is kept in an aquarium mimicking the bathypelagic zone. A hydrophone has been set up in the tank and automatically activates during a during a Convergence Event.
Description: SCP-xxxx is a group of 14 bathynomus giganteus. All 13 members of SCP-xxx show no biological anomalies. At random times, the members of SCP-xxxx will gather together into two rows of seven and initiate a Convergence Event.
During a Convergence Event, SCP-xxxx will begin to perform an acapella cover of a previously existing song.
SCP-sss is a group of five separate collectives of animals located in rural parts of the state of Michigan, designated SCP-SSS-1 through -5. Collectives -1 through -4 are composed of arthropods not native to the area, however, no ecological impact has been observed by or on any of the collectives. SCP-sss-1 is a grouping of several hives of giant Asian hornets. SCP-sss-2 is a colony of Bullet Ants. SCP-sss-3 is a cluster of several hundred Wolf Spiders. SCP-sss-4 is a cast of several hundred coconut crabs. SCP-sss-5 is a large sloth of grizzly bears.
All collectives of SCP-sss are highly territorial and will attack any human within 100 meters of their home, referred to as the subject. Once aggravated, a large group of SCP-sss will begin to chase the subject, only stopping once either the subject or all pursuing instances of SCP-sss die. Instances of SCP-sss chasing a target will not engage other humans unless attacked or the subject shouts the word "bees". Anyone who hears and is able to understand the subject's shout will then become targets of SCP-sss, with pursuing instances multiplying into multiple groups of equal size to pursue the new subjects. If a subject writes "BEES!", anyone capable of reading and understanding the word also becomes a subject as long as the writer is still alive.
Horseshoe crab that sits on ones shoulder and shouts dating advice (Freudian: "USE YOUR WORDS WITH HER", "SHE'LL NEVER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL UNLESS YOU TELL HER" Coil: "CHEAP SEATS? MORE LIKE CHEAP DATE" Djoric: "GET THAT BITCH SOME FLOWERS. BITCHES LOVE FLOWERS.) and motivational phrases (FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!) in a monster trucfk announcer voice
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-hhh is kept is a large terrarium simulating a beach. SCP-hhh's terrarium is to be kept stocked with prey common to its natural habitat. Personnel wishing to converse with SCP-hhh or using its services must receive permission from a Level 4 site administrator or the project lead (Currently Doctor Krillon).
Description: SCP-hhh is a sapient Atlantic Horseshoe Crab capable of speech. SCP-hhh speaks in a loud deep voice with an enthusiastic tone, which comes out from the frontal shell area; currently it is unknown how SCP-hhh speaks, as its mouth movements are independent of its voice. SCP-hhh is capable of remaining out of water indefinitely, remaining moist despite environmental condition. SCP-hhh has also displayed abnormal resilience to damage though no testing has been performed to test the extent of this protection.
SCP-hhh almost exclusively talks about romantic or sexual relationships and provides advice on establishing and maintaining such relationships, though it has occasionally dispensed generic motivational statements. It refuses to discuss its background and rarely answers any questions unrelated to its prefered topics, often redirecting the conversation. In the few instances it has provided a name, it has always been either "MEGA-DATE" or "CRAB" (footnote: SCP-hhh insists that it speaks in capital letters and claims that any of its speech written with lower case letters is incorrect spelling)
SCP-hhh will provide relationship advice when asked, though the quality of the advice varies. If place on one's shoulder, SCP-hhh will provide a running commentary and advice for the given situation, though it attempt to steer its ride towards a situation in which its advice would be needed.
SCP-hhh seems to have a form of social stealth mechanism, that prevents others from noticing it or questioning its presence. The probability of this mechanism failing is based on the gender, sexual orientation, and relationship status of the observer. Homosexual males in committed relationships have the highest chance of noticing SCP-hhh (1.002%) while single females actively seeking a relationship have an effectively zero chance of seeing SCP-hhh. Should SCP-hhh be detected, most subjects will not find anything abnormal about its presence and, should they ask SCP-hhh's ride, will accept an answer along the lines of "that's just my pet horseshoe crab."
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-bbb is kept on a 1.3m pedestal in a 2mx2mx2m plexiglass container within a 5mx5mx5m plexiglass container in a 7mx7mx5.5m room. The air within its container should remain within 50%-60% humidity and 16-18 degrees celcius. The chamber is to be monitored by CCTV at all times. In the event that SCP-bbb escapes confinement, it is to be placed back in its container and exposed to warm humid air for one hour and a guard is to be posted in the chamber for the following week.
Description: SCP-bbb is a 30cmx40cmx10cm leather-bound tome, written in an unknown language. SCP-bbb is sapient and, when open, capable of speech. SCP-bbb claims to be an all-powerful deity and frequently boasts of acts of "immeasurable power". So far, SCP-bbb have failed to demonstrate any significant power.
SCP-bbb has demonstrated some ability to affect it's surroundings in an area with a radius of one meter. It's effects on the environment are near negligible, with demonstrated abilities being exertions of up to 1 newton of force, changing surrounding temperature by up to 1.11 degrees celsius, and causing minor headaches, cramping, and paresthesia. SCP-bbb is convinced that these acts are ones of god-like power. The only significant amount of force produced by SCP-bbb is its ability to levitate and move itself at an altitude of 7.6cm from the nearest surface and at a speed of 3m per hour.
SCP-bbb only displays sentience when open to between 30% and 80% of the total pages. It projects its voice from the spine toward the direction the pages are facing. Though the exact sound of its voice varies between individuals, it is commonly described as a male voice in a low tone and speaks at a high volume.
SCP-bbb proclaims itself to be a god capable of major reality-warping ability. When asked to demonstrate an act of "divine power", SCP-bbb will make exaggerated boasts of its abilities, for example, claiming that it shall "incinerate" a person and then proceed to raise the surrounding temperature by 1.11 degrees Fahrenheit. If no observer shows signs of being impressed, SCP-bbb expresses shock at the lack of a reaction and insists that it has succeeded, arguing that the observer's perception is flawed.
SCP-bbb expresses discomfort in warm temperatures and extremes of humidity, claiming that it can feel the deterioration of its pages. It also expresses pain when any part of the book is damaged. Despite this, SCP-bbb claims to be invincible and incapable of feeling pain and will not acknowledge any proof to the contrary, including audio and video recordings. Though it claims that it cannot be killed, SCP-bbb has expressed extreme anxiety concerning the possibility the book being destroyed; again, it will refuse to acknowledge this fear and ignores any evidence otherwise.
[[tab Brain Washer]]
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-mmm-1 is kept in a sterile operating room and can only be accessed with the biometrics of the lead project researcher (currently Dr. E. Ocson), primary project engineer (currently H. Townsend), or a member of site administration. One instance of SCP-mmm-2 is kept in Secure Document Containment 0C. Any SCP-mmm-2 instances discovered outside of containment are to be incinarated and a Class-B Amenstic applied to all non-Foundation personnel who have come into contact or know of SCP-mmm-2
Description: SCP-mmm is a machine capable of altering, removing, or creating human memories. Though originally disguised as a MRI machine, it was discovered that it could be disassembled and and reassembled with minimal difficulty, be built and repaired with civilian available products, and separated into 3 different components. The machine itself is SCP-mmm-1, while the blueprints and design specifications for it are SCP-mmm-2.
SCP-mmm-1 has three primary components and two different chemical solutions[footnote]Names taken from SCP-mmm diagnostic system[footnote]: the Interface Device, the Cleaning Agent, the Restraint Mechanism, the Hydraulitic [sic] Fluid and the Control Console, labeled SCP-mmm-A through -E respectively.
Object Class: Euclid
Special Contaiment Procedures: Due to a lack of information on the capabilities of SCP-ttt, current containment procedures are to be considered inadequate. Until new procedures are designed, the SCP is contained in a 30x25m room in Site 19. The chamber is monitored by two security cameras and all sound is recorded.
SCP-ttt is to be supplied with Earl Grey tea on request, as well as "adequate" milk and sugar. To date, the SCP's requests have been within reason (as determined by the O5) and its access to tea is to be cut off should requests begin to become unreasonable (as determined by project lead, currently Doctor Emit)
The SCP has offered a general invitation to all staff to have tea with it. Unless performing an interview, it is forbidden to accept this invitation; anyone who requests to partake is to be given a psychological evaluation and be barred from coming within 100 meters of SCP-ttt's containment chamber.
Description: SCP-ttt is an organism of supposed extradimensional origin. The SCP is mainly composed of a thick, black, mostly spherical mass that fluctuates in size, generally between 5 and 10 meters in diameter. The SCP interacts with its environment using large cephalopodian tentacles and thin tendrils. These appendages seem capable of extending indefinitely and have no recorded maximum size.
The black mass composing SCP-ttt's "body," appears to be selectively permeable; identical tests have shown different results in how solid the mass is, ranging from impenetrable to gaseous. No recording equipment has been able to enter the mass; reaching in with either hand or object has shown no physical contact.
SCP-ttt is capable of communication (see Experiment Log ttt-29) and has been cooperative with the Foundation. The SCP commonly speaks via, in its own words, "loud telepathy;" a method by which it produces sound without creating vibrations in the air. This method of communication is able to be recorded. It is also capable of "normal" telepathy, communicating only in the thoughts of certain individuals.
The SCP claims to be a being of deific power from "beyond [our] reality". It has, thus far, refused to voluntarily display any reality-bending or other god-like abilities. However, on several occasions, SCP-ttt has either reflexively or unconsciously performed acts displaying such powers. See Interview Log ttt-4
SCP-ttt has, to date, been highly cooperative with the Foundation. It has shown no desire to escape and claims to be happy with its living quarters. In turn for its cooperation, the SCP has requested access to tea, specifically Earl Grey, as well as milk and sugar. When drinking, it brings the cup up to its "body" and, for lack of a better word, sips in a polite manner.
The SCP enjoys conversing with most beings, intelligent or otherwise. It mostly engages in topics about the weather, the quality of the other participant's life, and other subjects typically considered "small talk"; however, it will happily talk about any subject proposed. It shows a particular interest in popular culture and entertainment; should the subject come up, it will early beginning questioning almost every aspect of the focus of the conversation.
Addendum ttt-1: Prior to 23/10/2009, SCP-ttt did not communicate and was not believe to be capable of doing so. Additionally, it showed initial hostility until communication was established. The following are notable reports prior to communications.
Incident Report ttt-1:
Location: Site 1█
Participants: Doctor Wyats, Research Assistant Solbers
Foreward: SCP-ttt, at that point, was believed to simply be a sphere of anomalous matter. Presence of "life" was known.
Description: Doctor Wyats and Research Assistant Solbers visually observe SCP-ttt from a distance of 20m. After 20 minutes, RA Solbers approaches within 5m of the SCP. Four large tentacles (initially ~15m long), extend from the mass. One pins Dr. Wyats to the wall of the chamber, the other three begin to remove RA Solbers limbs before disemboweling him. Security teams reach to chamber after 2 minutes, just as the tentacles finish with Solbers. Tentacles retract after being fired upon. Dr. Wyats, though not physically injured, appears to have died of a heart attack during the event (Dr. Wyats had a known heart condition and his death has been deemed incidental).
Incident Report ttt-9:
Location: Site 1█
Participants: Doctor Emit, Doctor Kims, D-9287
Description: On the morning of the 23rd, SCP-ttt began to increase in size, going from 3 meters in diameter to 14. D-9287 was sent into the containment chamber to investigate; Mobile Task Force Tau 4 ("Squid Punchers") was standing-by outside of containment. SCP-ttt showed no reaction when D-9287 initially entered and remained inactive for 20 minutes, after which time D-9287 was called back.
When the entrance to the containment chamber opened, twelve tentacles emerged from SCP-ttt and reached through the doorway; six grabbing the frame and preventing the door from closing, the other six engaged MTF-Tau-4 in combat. Though they showed no signs of damage, the tentacles pulled back under sustained gunfire. However, one of the tentacles grabbed Dr. Kims as it retreated, pulling her back into the SCP-ttt.
Experiment Log ttt-29:
Experiment: D-1557 was sent into the containment chamber and told to remain in the chamber for one hour. D-1557 sat facing SCP-ttt for the first 20 minutes before getting up and walked closer to the SCP. When D-1557 came within 15 meters of the SCP, he suddenly stopped and started screaming "It's in my head! It's in my fucking head!" When asked what he meant, he responded that "thousands of worms [were] crawling through [his] mind" and that "it was eating [his] thoughts." The D-Class fell to the floor holding his head and continued to scream for 7 minutes before ceasing his screaming and all movement.
After 6 hours of observation, D-2346 and D-9874 were sent in to retrieve D-1557's body. When they entered the chamber, they reported hearing a yawning sound coming from SCP-ttt. When they approached D-1557, SCP-ttt audibly asked them if they had any tea. When told that they did not, a tentacle emerged from SCP-ttt, helped the D-Class move the corpse out of the room, and waved goodbye. When later asked about their calm reaction to SCP-ttt, both men reported that the situation was too "surreal" for them to react..
Interview Log ttt-1
Foreward: After the events of Experiment ttt-29, D-9370 was sent SCP-ttt's containment chamber with two paper cups and a thermos of Camomile tea. SCP-ttt immediately responded.
SCP-ttt: Hello, that wouldn't happen to be tea by any chance?
D-9370: Holy shit!
*D-9370 falls back in surprise.*
SCP-ttt: Oh, did I scare you? Terribly sorry! Let me try that again. Hello mortal, has your day been satisfactory to this point? What is your opinion of the current temperature, humidity, and barometric pressure? Do you have any tea?
*SCP-ttt extends a tentacle and helps D-9370 back to his feet.*
D-9370: Um, hi? My day is okay; I was just instructed to bring this thermos of tea in to here.
SCP-ttt: So you do have tea! How absolutely wonderful! Please, have a seat, er, somewhere, and pour us some!
*With some hesitation, D-9370 sits down and pours tea into both cups. For the next 2 hours, D-9370 and SCP-ttt engage in conversation, mostly centered on the quality of D-9370's day. D-9370 then leaves the chamber without issue.*
Interview Log 2:
Interviewer: Doctor Emit
Foreward: After the peaceful interaction between SCp-ttt and D-9370, Dr. Emit decided to attempt to interact with SCP-ttt personally. He entered the SCP's containment chamber with a thermos of Earl Grey tea, two metal tea cups, a handful of packets taken from the break room, and a small carton of milk taken from the Site mess hall. SCP-ttt reacted immediately upon Dr. Emit's entry.
SCP-ttt: Is that tea?
Dr. Emit: Hello to you, too. And yes this is tea.
SCP-ttt: Well then, sit down, make yourself at home! I hope you don't mind the floor, I am dreadfully embaressed, but there is nowhere else to sit.
Dr. Emit sits on the floor and pours tea into both cups
SCP-ttt: Well, that depends on the tea, doesn't it? SCP-ttt takes a sip of his tea Ah, yes, definitely milk and sugar. What do you call this tea?
Dr. Emit: Earl Grey, it's the only kind I drink.
SCP-ttt: It is very good! I can see why you prefer it. So, I'm going to guess that you didn't come just to drink tea.
Dr. Emit:Well, let's just introduce ourselves first. I am Doctor Samuel Emit. You are?
SCP-ttt: I'm…Well, I don't really have a name for here yet. I cannot give myself a name.
Dr. Emit: Well, your designation is SCP-ttt and you will be commonly referred to as so by most personnel.
SCP-ttt: "SCP-ttt"? It's a good enough name.
Dr. Emit: What do you mean by you cannot give yourself a name?
SCP-ttt: Names are a uniquely mortal thing. You inability to look past the arbitrary limits you set on perception leads you to need to provide everything with a designation, be it a given name or a description. For those who are capable of conceiving the infinite, we realize that to give something a name limits ones ability to perceive the objects true nature. Therefore, we are incapable of giving ourselves names, for it is both against our nature and near impossible to come up with one.
Dr. Emit: And mortals cannot conceive of the infinite?
SCP-ttt: Mortals are by definition limited and therefore can only see in limits. Even though you may not consciously think in these terms, your subconscious places limits. When you think of the idea of something to be "infinite", you place a certain limit on it. For example, in numeric terms, you place infinity at "everything past this" It may not be a concrete point, but an abstract idea that there is some point at which the finite turns into the infinite.
Dr. Emit: If that is true, than this conversation will be pointless as you are unable to describe what the infinite is in terms that I can understand or handle.
SCP-ttt: Except I am not going to attempt to make you understand, but it is important you understand that you cannot understand the infinite, otherwise your entire perception of me will be severely flawed.
Dr. Emit: And is that because you are infinite?
SCP-ttt: Yes, but what is more important is that you understand the idea of the Infinite Infinites, which is the rule that defines the multiverse and, by proxy, myself. The multiverse is infinite, both large and, what most people don't think of, small. The Infinite Infinites states that there is always something infinitely superior and infinitely inferior. Because of this, measurement involving the multiverse is simply by factors of superior and inferior. My kind is able to understand the level of infinite we mean when conversing, but for the rest of the multiverse, it is near impossible to properly describe anything in terms of infinites.
Dr. Emit: And what is your "kind"?
At this point, both parties had run out of tea and SCP-ttt politely asked Dr. Emit to leave, but made invited him to have tea with it again at a later date.
Interview Log ttt-3
Interviewer: Dr. Emit
** Forward:** As with the previous interview, Dr. Emit entered SCP-ttt's chamber with a thermos of Earl Grey tea, two cups, ~8 sugar packets (no count was made), a carton of milk, and a floor cushion. Again, SCP-ttt responded immediately.
SCP-ttt: Dr. Emit! Good to see you again! I'm glad you decided to take me up on my offer of another tea time.
Dr. Emit: Yes, well I was hoping to continue our conversation from last time.
SCP-ttt: Well, first things first, have a seat and pour us some tea. I still haven't worked out furnishing, unfortunately…
Dr. Emit: Don't worry, I brought a seat for myself.
Dr. Emit sits on the floor cushion and pours tea into both cups, as well as adding milk and sugar
SCP-ttt: So, where were we?
Dr. Emit: Our conversation from last time. It ended shortly after I asked what your "kind" was…
SCP-ttt: Oh, yes. Gods. We are gods.
Dr. Emit: Can you elaborate?
SCP-ttt: We are beings of infinite knowledge and power, with the ability to twist your pathetic little universe to our will. I believe that's the definition of a god in your language.
Dr. Emit: It is, approximately. However, I do my best at being a skeptic and must ask you to display some of this "infinite power" before I can believe your claims of divinity.
SCP-ttt: Well, there's a catch, sort of. Some universes are too small or weak to stand even the slightest fraction of my power. They fall apart at the seams. While I can probably perform some miraculous tasks, they would have too be so small that you would barely recognize them as my doing.
Dr. Emit: So you can't prove that you're a god?
SCP-ttt: Well I can, but any conscious effort on my part will result in your universe imploding.
Dr. Emit: So the only verifyable evidence of this power will be the result of reflex or subconscious?
SCP-ttt: Unfortunately, yes. However, I can tell you of the feats I have performed upon other worlds, ones that are capable of withstanding my power.
Dr. Emit: But without evidence, I do not know if you are telling the truth.
SCP-ttt: Doctor, you bring me tea. I would never lie to you.
Dr. Emit: Is tea really that important to you?
SCP-ttt: I once annihilated an entire universe due to their lack of tea.
Dr. Emit: Again, that could just be lies. However, since tea does seem to be so important to you, I will at least pretend to believe you.
SCP-ttt: That's really all I ask; in my opinion, whether a story is true or not, all that matters is that the audience listens.
Dr. Emit: Well then, tell me of these other worlds.
SCP-ttt: For your convience, I'll only speak of the human ones, those largely similar to your own.
Dr. Emit: I probably can guess the answer to this question, but how many "similar" worlds are there?
SCP-ttt: An infinite amount.
Dr. Emit: That's what I thought.
SCP-ttt: There are two worlds that I think are best for story telling. The first was a barren land with only 9 bodies of water, of which only 3 were fresh water. The world had an interesting resource called "Mekhat", a substance similar to iron except it was highly flammable and became malleable in water. I was known as Ga'Uth'La of the Nine Seas and there was nothing too out of the ordinary in terms of worship, offerings of precious metals, gems, and furs, sacrifices of livestock, giant alters, the fairest maidens given to me as concubines, the prayers of billions, et cetera. But you're more interested in the doing stuff part, yes?
Dr. Emit: If by "doing stuff" you mean acts of god-like power, then yes.
SCP-ttt: Well, to best describe it, I'll have to quote some scripture, give you what the mortals see. So, from the Testament of the Eternal Wanderers, the Parable of the Gathian Punishment.
In the unnumbered days of the 8th season, a village on the great ocean Ga'Th suffered, for their well had dried and the Uth had taken to their shores. A boy was sent on a pilgrimage to Xa'Zorith to beg of Ga'Uth'La for life to return to his home. The great god listened to his plight and told him that his village must pray for nine days, one for each kingdom of Ga'Uth'La, and offer the purest soul in sacrifice. And so the village prayed. For eight days all did kneel in silence before the alter, but on the ninth a fisherman sent his child out from the temple to hide, for she was the purest soul of them all. Ga'Uth'La was not blind to this transgression, however. At the peak of the sun travel, His punishment was known. The men were the first to be punished, their forms painfully twisted and minds taken. The women were next to be punished, as the beasts that were once men went on a frenzy of sex and violence, leaving none unharmed; those few left behind were cursed with a blight of eternal pain, their wounds filled with salt and left to fester. Finally, the children were punished, but their innocence was recognized. Their eyes burst in an eruption of blood, killing them painfully yet quickly. Finally, Ga'Uth'La both blessed and punished the child meant for sacrifice, she would forever walk the lands as the Eternal Wanderer of Castigation, harbinger of Ga'Uth'La's wrath and his instrument of suffering.
Dr. Emit: Was such retribution really necessary?
SCP-ttt: Ga'Uth'La is a very vengeful god. Even his most blessed servants, the Eternal Wanderers, are cursed to suffer.
Dr. Emit: Why are you referring to Ga'Uth'La in third person?
SCP-ttt: Because to me, Ga'Uth'La is no more than what your hand is to you. Of course, that is a slightly flawed analogy, as you are extremely limited in limbs and I am infinite, but I believe you get the idea.
Dr. Emit: I'll say yes for now. You mentioned another world?
SCP-ttt: Yes, but I don't like describing it, it is dreadfully boring. The only feature of note is that it is ridiculously prosperous in pretty much everything. So, story time! Again, I'll be using scripture, as that is the best way I can convey the acts to you.
And the jolly man cowered before the great Shaka-Shaka, for he knew that he had angered the great god of shaken, stirred, and otherwise mixed drinks. "You laugh and grow fat as your family cries and starves. You have spent your coin at store of the brewer and the homes of the whores. You shall be punished for your gluttony." And with that the four great vines arose and grabbed the man by his limbs. With a great and terrifying sound, Shaka-Shaka broke the joints of the jolly man. "I curse you to remain immobile, so that it is only by the those you starved can feed you!" Next, Shaka-Shaka stabbed the man with his many thorns, but the man did not bleed blood, but drink. "I curse you to provide for your village with your suffering. They shall never be at want of drink, for your blood shall be my gift. They shall never be at want of food, for the many crows shall ever come to pick at your body and bow their heads to the ax." Finally, a great structure erupt from the ground, a grand fountain with a bed of stone at the top. The vines placed the man upon the bed and drove four stakes into the stone, pinning the man at his joints. Finally, Shaka-Shaka picked up the man's youngest and put in the child's hand a knife. "Child, you shall be the one to bring prosperity to your village. All you must do it cut open the gut of the man who has forsaken his job a your father!" And the child did so and from the man came a river of wine and a murder of the black beasts of Nomi-Nomi, goddess of the feast and the dead, came flocking to the man's now broken body. Shaka-Shaka looked upon his work and raised a glass, declaring the man K'noal Pieter, K'noal of the bountiful.
Dr. Emit: I presume Shaka-Shaka is you?
SCP-ttt: In a world where the center of all living culture is partying, a many armed god has a single, very obvious domain. As Shaka-Shaka, I was lord of all shaken, stirred, and otherwise mixed drinks, ranging from fancy cocktails to chocolate melted in boiled water. I was generally considered the lord of alcohol, that position being strangely unfilled, and was known to be vengeful towards those that did not share in their bounty. The first tenet of Shaka-Shaka was "No man shall raise his cup until all his fellows may raise theirs"
Dr. Emit: Do you create all the mythology yourself?
Dr. Emit: Do you have to follow what the mortals believe or is this by choice?
SCP-ttt: Mixture of both. It gives me something to do and it keeps them from turning against me as a false god. Occasionally, in some universes, the collective belief is strong enough to act as a sort of filter, limiting certain aspects of myself. However, this requires intergalactic levels of faith and I rarely go beyond a one or two galaxies.
Dr. Emit: You also mentioned another deity, Nomi-Nomi. Is this another like you?
SCP-ttt: Oh, this is the fun part, I actually made her from scratch. Occasionally, I'll create beings of seemingly deific power to act as the rest of the pantheon. They are not actually as infinitely powerful as me, but so much more than mortals that it seems that way. I'm often not even the king of the gods in such pantheons. It takes a lot of universal leeway to make a god though.
Dr. Emit: Well, I believe that is enough exposition for today.
SCP-ttt: Yes, but we still have some tea left. Would you mind if I ask you a question?
Dr. Emit: Depends on the question.
SCP-ttt: Well, we always talk about my other dimensional feats. Why not talk about something more local?
Dr. Emit: Such as?
SCP-mmm: Well, are there any interesting current events? Any wildly entertaining media?
Dr. Emit: I am currently not authorized to speak on such subjects with SCPs.
SCP-mmm: Oh, I understand. Um, has your day been of satisfactory quality thus far?
Dr. Emit: I suppose so. Yours?
SCP-mmm: Well, I have tea, don't I? [laughs] What is your opinion of the current temperature, humidity, and barometric pressure?
Dr. Emit: A more humid than I prefer, but ultimately okay.
SCP-mmm: That's good.
Dr. Emit and SCP-mmm drink tea in silence for the next minute before finishing the tea. Dr. Emit then exuses himself and leaves the chamber.
Interview Log-ttt 4:
Interviewer: Dr. Karlson
Foreword: Due to injuries suffered in an automotive collision, Dr. Emit was in a coma during the scheduled time for Interview #4. Dr. Karlson, temporary replacement as lead of the SCP-ttt project, acted as interviewer.
Dr. Karlson enter the containment chamber. Security footage shows that his right hand was a large lobster claw, no notice is made of thisby the doctor or the SCP.
Dr. Karlson: Good morning SCP-ttt
SCP-ttt: Good morning, do you have any tea?
Dr. Karlson: No. I have decided, as project lead, that the Foundation shall no longer be giving in to your demands.
SCP-ttt: I thought Doctor Emit was the head of this project.
Dr. Karlson: I'm his replacement, Dr. Karlson.
SCP-ttt: May I inquire what happened to Doctor Emit?
Dr. Karlson: No. Now, would you please demonstrate some form of your supposed "infinite power"?
SCP-ttt: Why should I?
Dr. Karlson: Because I am asking you to.
SCP-ttt: Well, Mister Karlson, I do not very much appreciate your tone or behavior, so, let's start with the fact that since you entered the room, you hand has been a lobster claw…
Dr. Karlson: What are you…
Dr. Karlson looks at his hand and begins screaming and runs out of the room. SCP-ttt was refused tea for three months as punishment. Dr. Karlson was repremanded for his unprofessional behavior, removed from the project, and given 3 months unpaid leave; his right hand had to be amputated and the claw proved to be genetically indentical to lobster DNA.
Interview Log ttt-5
SCP-ttt: +++ Tea and Tentacles
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ttt is kept in a 20x15m room in Site 1█. The chamber is monitored by two security cameras and all sound is recorded. SCP-ttt is to be given [REDACTED] brand Earl Grey tea on request as well as milk and sugar; as of writing, all tea related requests by the SCP have been within reason, its access to tea is to be limited should this change.
Description: SCP-ttt is a sapient organism that claims to be a deity (claims yet to be verified). SCP-ttt is surrounded by a cloud of black particles that obscure its body and block all forms of technological imaging as well as shield the SCP from physical contact. The cloud is approximately 10 meters in diameter and the SCP claims to take up nearly all of the space within. SCP-ttt interacts with its environment using large octopus-like tentacles and thin tendrils for fine motor skills. These appendages are too large to fit within the cloud, but do anyway.
The SCP communicates through telepathic messages or "meat-puppets," organisms that have been taken over by forcible cranial intrusion. The SCP is talkative and been described as friendly. It usually focuses on topics such as the weather, current events, or pop culture. When asked, the SCP will expound upon its past, claiming to be an interdimensional deity that has "retired" to our dimension.
SCP-ttt is highly cooperative with the Foundation, but requests that it be provided with tea, specifically Earl Grey.
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-mmm is kept in a 15mx15mx15m soundproof chamber. Any device capable of playing music is not allowed within 100m of the chamber. Singing, whistling, or humming is similarly forbidden. Personnel entering the containment area are to wear mouth guards that prevent speech.
Description: SCP-mmm is a tall humanoid creature. The SCP is 2.5m tall The creature is completely black and featureless, with two large glowing circles for eyes. It fingers have long claws at the end. The subject, when inactive, hangs 1.5m off the ground, with its head down and arms straight out to both sides, with the forearm hanging downward.
When SCP-mmm is exposed to music of any sort, it becomes active and hostile. In this state, it will attack all living beings in its sight and attempt to escape from its containment cell. The creature acts in sync with the music, both in movement and attitude (see test logs below). The creature will project the song from itself by means unknown until the song ends, returning it to an inactive state.
The SCP has proven impossible to kill; though it can be injured, it quickly regenerates damage. When inactive, the regenerative process is slow, taking approximately an hour to repair a single bullet wound. When active, the regenerative process takes around 5 seconds to recover from a similar would. If it suffers what would be a fatal wound, it remains inactive until the damage is repaired, which takes approximately twice as long as normal. If "killed", the subject immediately stops singing, but rarely (5% occurrence rate) it will resume singing upon full regeneration.
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ddd
Description: SCP-ddd is a life-sized, wooden statue of a loon. The statue, appears to be hand carved and painted, but the maker is unknown. Within a 30 meter radius of the duck, all humans are struck with a form of aphasia that renders it impossible to express their thoughts in a conventional manner. Instead, all subjects speak in a code ("Duck Code") which, as of writing, is still not fully understood. The code is best described as a word salad, a mixture of random words that, while arranged in phrases that appear to give them meaning, actually carry no significance. Subjects leaving the duck's range generally fully recover from the aphasia within an hour, but long term exposure can result in the permanent loss of language beyond Duck Code. Recovered subjects do not remember the parameters of the code and often did not realize they were speaking in code.
Parts of Duck Code have been deciphered. "The duck is en route" is a key phrase in the code, with affected subjects using the phrase as either a greeting or randomly inserted in a conversation. Some of phrases seem to be used for multiple, often conflicting purposes. The phrase "74 by 9, out" is believed to be used as both "yes" and "no" interchangibly; similarly "fluffy potato pancakes" seems to be used to describe color and is used for every color.
Three phrases of Duck Code are exceptional in that they are drawn from regular usage. On three occasions, subjects have been heard to use the phrase "And Bob's your uncle" after what was assumed to be a set of instructions. The common word salad phrase "Colorless green ideas sleep furiously" has also been heard, but the meaning has not yet been deciphered. The question "Does the black moon howl?" has been heard six times; research is ongoing as to whether or not this is a security breach or coincidence.
The Duck Code
"The duck is en route"
"74 by 9, out" (yes or no, interchangeably)
"Does the black moon howl?" (warrants investigation)
"And Bob's your uncle"
"fluffy potato pancakes" to designate a color. Any color. EVERY color
"in order to commission a bow"
"Colorless green ideas sleep furiously"
"Your struggle staggers outside the subroutine!" (Presumed to be response to a greeting)
"Inside the mass declines the surgery"
"Your recipient studies above the planetary thesis"
"Indefinite, painful, and centralized marriage" (Used to refer to oneself in third person)
"Bounce forever, preoperated speaker!"
"Vigorously improved audience"
"SCP-8989 is a blueberry pie kept at [place] [other stuff] When a subject is within thirty meters of SCP-8989, they find themselves afflicted with a peculiar form of aphasia, preventing them from expressing their thoughts in conventional contemporary speech.
emissary I think that I'll either go with the memetic non-sense
Eskobar "Rather, subjects find themselves communicating in a heretofore undefined code. The full parameters of the code are unknown, other than attempting to leave the vicinity of the pie is expressed with the phrase 'The duck is en route.'"
Object Class: Safe (pending Euclid)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ddd-J is kept in a warehouse located 10km outside of ██████, Kansas. The door to the warehouse is locked at all times. Currently, the object is theorized to be inanimate and no further containment is needed.
Description: SCP-ddd-j is an invisible giant wooden duck. The duck is invisible to both the naked eye and technological imaging. It is also appearently immaterial, so far, every object passes through the duck, making it impossible to locate through touch. Attempts to measure the duck have failed, but it is theorized to be at least 20m tall and 500kg. It is current believed to be of the Anas genus, but recent speculation suggests that its genus may actually be Aythyinae. There has been much debate on the gender of the duck; eventually, it was decided that the duck was a male by majority vote.
Attempts to research the duck are hindered by the lack of visual and tactile information. It is assumed to be hand-carved, but we do not know by who or how they were able to manage the extreme detail that we believe the duck to have. At the moment, we assume that only primitive tools were used. We also do not know how the duck became invisible or immaterial. There are several theories as to the cause of SCP-ddd-J's anomolous properties. The most popular theory is that it was made from invisible and intangible wood to begin with.
The duck's effect on outside elements is currently under testing. So far, we have determined that it does not have any memetic effects, does not change the surrounding temperature, and does not produce any sounds. It was previously believed to quack at least twice a year, but further observation has shown that it is simply in the path of the local duck population's migratory path; extermination of the flock is currently under consideration.
Object Class: Keter Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ttt is to be kept in a Class 3 micro-biotic storage container in the freezer vault of Site █ when not in testing. During testing, all involved personnel are to wear standard NBC gear. Testing is only to be done in a Keter-grade viral lab. All personnel leaving the testing chamber are to be decontaminated and placed in 24 hour quarantine. As of writing, SCP-ttt testing is restricted to single-celled organisms
SCP-ttt is to be kept in a 10mx10m humanoid containment chamber with an airlock for decontamination. SCP-ttt may request a dosage alteration to his painkiller regimen within 200mg, any further requires written permission from the project lead ( currently Dr. Gideon). SCP-ttt has been granted a braille copy of its formor library and may request newer editions of any of its books; SCP-ttt may also request assistance reaching his bookcase. Any personnel wishing to consult with SCP-ttt requires permission from Doctor Gideon and at least one Level 4 staff.
Description: —SCP-ttt is a virus capable of forming itself into solid shapes and infecting all known organisms. The virus, when amassed, appears a black, viscous substance that is capable of independent movement. In addition to standard replication, SCP-ttt appears capable of self-multiplication, though its means of doing so are unknown.
Most notable about the virus, when in a large enough mass, is its ability to form solid shapes and protrusions. This solidification can create highly dense structure as well as flexible muscle-like tissue. Through use of this ability, the virus has shown possible intelligence; reacting to external stimuli, often by forming itself into a mass of spikes.—
SCP-ttt is a Caucasian male human, 2m tall with a projected weight of 38.3kg. Approximately 45% of SCP-ttt's skin is black due to its healing process. Projecting from the back of SCP-ttt are four black arachnid-like legs, each with a fully extended length of 3m. A black external muscular structure covers the arms of SCP-ttt, allowing for motion. SCP-ttt, during its transformation into its current state, clawed its eyes out and is completely blind.
SCP-ttt is, medically, dead, but is still animate and has retained all intelligence prior to his current state. SCP-ttt's blood has been replaced with a modified version of the SCP-ttt virus (designated SCP-ttt-N) that, once fully removed from SCP-ttt, is rendered inert. SCP-ttt occasionally with coughs or vomits SCP-ttt-N, a process that he explains as simply eliminating excess fluid. SCP-ttt-N within SCP-ttt acts to immediately heal any wound SCP-ttt suffers. SCP-ttt-N is also responsible SCP-ttt's additional appendages and external muscular structure, which are supposedly adaptations in response to SCP-ttt's dessicated state (see Addendum 1)
SCP-ttt is in constant pain due to his body rejecting SCP-ttt-M and is on a regimen of powerful painkillers. SCP-ttt-M has occasionally reacted to the medication, resulting in sudden, yet temporary, structural mutations to SCP-ttt; these mutations are painful and often extremely dangerous, personnel are to leave the containment chamber immediately.
Addendum 1: The current SCP-ttt was originally Dr. David Richman, the former lead virologist of Site █. On 23/10/20██, Dr. Richman took all samples of the virus SCP-ttt out of containment and locked himself in a long-term quarantine chamber. He then injected himself with the virus as well as an unknown serum. It was noted that Dr. Richman showed none of the projected symptoms of the virus. Over the course of 18 months, Dr. Richman's physical state degraded to his current state. Over this period, Dr. Richman recorded all of his observations on his condition. For a summery of his notes, see Experiment ttt-8971-A.
Experiment ttt-8971-A: Experiment ttt-8971-A was an unauthorized study performed by Dr. Richman. In his free time, Dr. Richman had developed an experimental "vaccine"'[[footnote]]Though he refers to the serum as a vaccine, it was actually a anti-virus designed to eliminate all traces of SCP-ttt-N[[footnote]] to SCP-ttt-N. Using himself as the test subject, Dr. Richman infected himself with SCP-ttt-N and then injected the "vaccine". At first, it appeared that cure worked, but, in accordance with a quarentine protocol set by Dr. Richman himself, the doctor (from here on referred to as SCP-ttt) would remain in containment for the next month. After two weeks, SCP-ttt relayed that he was experiencing weight loss and a feeling of weakness disproportion to the projected amount for his decrease in food intake and activity; this caused the duration of his quarentine to be extended to an indefinite length. At 4 weeks, SCP-ttt had dropped from 92.3kg to 49.2kg and his homeostatic functions had slowed by 80%. 32 days into the quarentine, SCP
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ggg is kept in a 80x50x50m room. The floor, walls, and ceiling of the room are plated with obsidian and damaged plating is to be covered by more obsidian. Non-D Class personnel are not allowed into the chamber unless senior staff approve that testing requires a staff presence. Additionally, at least three staff on site are required to know all of the names of SCP-ggg.
Reality bending SCPs are to be kept 1km from the SCP at all times and any reality benders entering that zone are to be immediately restrained and returned to containment. Should a reality bending SCP get within the range of SCP-ggg's decay, it is imperitive that they be removed immediately. Afterwards, the SCP-ggg's effective radius is to be checked.
Description: SCP-ggg is a 30m tall granite obelisk, covered in symbols with that do not correspond to any known language. In a 30m, radius around SCP-ggg, all matter begins to decay, with the speed of the process increasing exponentially as one gets closer to the obelisk. The only substance that has been found to resist the decay is obsidian (see Addendum 1)
SCP-ggg also nullifies the powers of reality bendering SCPs within a one kilometer radius, nor can a reality bender exert control over anything within that radius. Any SCP capable of reality-warping is affected by SCP-ggg's decay within this zone and is psychicly and physically drawn to the obelisk. When a reality-bender gets within 30m of the obelisk, they are engulfed in a blue flame and disappear. However, every reality-bender killed by SCP-ggg increases the SCP's range by 120%.