Eskobar

PRIORITIES

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

This document is Iteration 1 of the containment procedures for SCP-4599. Updates may be forthcoming. Please read any updated version of this document for future containment needs.

— Bella Hardone, Documentarian (L2), RAISA
3 August 2018

Item #: SCP-4599

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4599 has been assigned to room 33A in Site 38-B's Humanoid Anomaly Domicile, with standard amenities and the opportunity to gain access to more amenities contingent upon further cooperation with the Foundation and Operation ÓverMeta. SCP-4599 is to be allowed full access to Site recreation facilities and social interaction areas on the same conditions.

SCP-4599's cooperation is expected to include:

  • exploration of fictional narratives, narrativic strata, narrativic planes, and intersectional narrativic conjunctions
  • interviews, briefings, and debriefings of other narrative, fictional, or metafictional entities
  • coordination of alternate manifestations of SCP-4599 throughout fictional narratives, narrativic strata, narrativic planes, and intersectional narrativic conjunctions, and
  • interaction with Foundation psychologists and therapists within the Department of Personnel Integrity, both to monitor the health and well-being of SCP-4599 as well as to conduct research into the unique psychological traits, habits, and tendencies of metafictional constructs.

Description: SCP-4599-Alpha is a female humanoid entity of average height and build and of either Asian or Native American descent, identified by herself1 as "Jenny Everywhere." SCP-4599-Alpha is the believed to be a corporeal instantiation of a larger transnarrativic anomaly, designated SCP-4599.

SCP-4599-Alpha's primary anomalous trait2 is her unique nature within the boundaries of spacionarrativic reality; the subject originated as a non-corporeal, wholly fictional and metafictional construct within several stories and narratives discovered on the Internet by Foundation researchers within the Department of Pataphysics. Exactly how SCP-4599 was created in its original form is unknown; advanced P-theory3 analysis suggests that the Foundation may not currently have access to the higher-order narratives from which the anomaly was generated.

SCP-4599-Alpha possesses the ability to either coordinate with, coerce, or control fictional depictions of herself in media. Much like the the standard Pataphysical scout, this gives SCP-4599-Alpha a unique advantage in interacting with sapient narrativic anomalies, as she can task individual or multiple copies of herself with exploration endeavors without risking her own health or welfare. It is theorized that in the event that the Foundation needs to contain a narrativic anomaly, SCP-4599-Alpha may be able to deploy enough copies of herself into a narrativic plane to form, in essence, a Mobile Task Force comprised entirely of herself.

SCP-4599-Alpha has, as of this writing, agreed to cooperate with the Foundation and has been assigned provisional Class E personnel status as a Foundation employee under the purview of Director Pendarvis at Site 38-B.

The manner by which SCP-4599-Alpha came to instantiate in our corporeal universe is unclear outside of the Department of Pataphysics, which has not shared this information with RAISA for inclusion in this document at this time.

Addendum: DPI Intake Procedure Gamma-3

NOTE
DEPARTMENT OF PERSONNEL INTEGRITY

As per recent updates of Foundation protocol from the Department of Personnel Integrity, any non-emergency assignation of Class E status requires psychiatric evaluation procedure Gamma-3 by qualified DPI personnel. The following is the transcript of the video recording of SCP-4599-Alpha's Gamma-3 interview.

Conducting interview: Dr. Sandra Serrano, DPI Intake Specialist III
Subject of interview: SCP-4599-Alpha

Dr. Serrano: Okay, since we're discussing the prospects of hiring you on here at the Foundation, we can relax some of the formalities. Just for the record, your formal designation is SCP-4599-Alpha. Would you like me to call you something else?

Subject smiles at this, and continues smiling through most of the interview.

SCP-4599-Alpha: Well, duh! That's gotta be a mouthful for everyone. You can call me Jenny Everywhere, or just Jenny. Sometimes they call me "the Shifter", but I think that sounds sort of dramatic, don't you? Oh, wait a second, there's something I have to get out of the way first.

Subject turns to the camera. Per Gamma-3 documentation protocols, subject will now be referred to by her stated nomenclatural preference.

Jenny Everywhere: The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

Dr. Serrano: Wow. That was a lot. What was that about? Particularly the last bit.

Jenny: Oh, who knows? Some legal mumbo-jumbo. Just a technicality. All of my shifts have to have that included with them. No big deal.

Dr. Serrano: So your… I guess you'd say, your licensing parameters, they follow you everywhere? Even here?

Jenny: Well, sure, silly! It's all fiction, right?

Dr. Serrano: Fiction? Oh, wait, I understand. I think I skimmed some of that research. Yes, I can see how you'd see it that way. Actually, we've come up with some recent scientific developments that prove you might be pretty close to spot-on with that. We're trying to use some of that to shed some light on how you came to be here. Do you have any insights you could possibly provide?

Jenny: Oh, you're getting into the egghead stuff! I'm more of the adventure type, see? I love science, though! Girls can be into science too, you know?

Dr. Serrano: Yes, Jenny, I know. I'm a social scientist.

Jenny: Wow, that's amazing! What does that mean? What do you do?

Dr. Serrano: Well, here at the Foundation, as a resident clinician, I talk to people and gain an understanding of their behaviors, look for patterns that might explain how the events of their past lead to actions in the present that they might want to take conscious control over. I do this in conjunction with a worldwide community of other clinicians, so we stay in conversation with one another through publications and academic seminars. Through this, my colleagues and I put together larger-order theories on human motivation, reasoning, and behaviors. We share these with one another and use them to inform the conversations we have with our patients. So the whole process works in a circle, see?

Jenny: [silence]

Dr. Serrano: Is everything all right?

Jenny: I thought science had more to do with, like, beakers and chemicals and stuff.

Dr. Serrano: Well, there are lots of different kinds of science. Depending on how your progress goes in the Foundation, you might get the chance to work with some scientists more to your tastes. But that's dependent on your ability to help us understand… well, the world you come from, I guess I'd call it. My job is to learn more about you as a person first.

Jenny: Well, there's not much to me, right? I just came into existence, silly! I'm going to take on the attributes of the world around me as time goes on, becoming a unique instance of Jenny.

Dr. Serrano: Are you not their leader?

Jenny: (blushes) Me? Oh, I'm nothing special. Who would let me lead them?

Dr. Serrano: But we've observed your ability. You've been able to introduce Jennys into narratives at will, and they seem to do what you want them to do. What would you call that, if not leading?

Jenny: I… I guess I haven't thought about it? I just figured they were doing what came naturally to them. I don't think I'm introducing them, like, consciously or anything? I think sometimes I just get near stories and… poof! Suddenly I'm in them! It's neat, right?

Dr. Serrano: Okay, Jenny, I think I have enough to work with for right now. Is there anything we can get you to make you comfortable?

Jenny: No, Dr. Serrano, thank you so much! I don't need anything. I don't… I mean, honestly, I don't want anything. I don't really, uh. I don't really do much when you guys aren't interviewing me.

Dr. Serrano: I'm sorry?

Jenny: When you guys aren't here, I mostly just sit on my bed over there (points at bed) and stare at the wall, smiling and thinking sciency thoughts.

(pause; SCP-4599 is looking at Dr. Serrano's expression)

Oh, don't worry! It's nobody's fault. It's just that, you know… I'm not really a person yet. I'm a concept, a shell without filling. I'm an abstraction without depth.

(pause)

Look, see that? I've never said that like that before! Just by talking to you, I'm gaining more personality by the second! Maybe this is what I need, exposure to more of this universe, this world! That'll help me find my place, I'm sure!

Dr. Serrano: Hmm. Let me talk to some people. Maybe we can get you access to some lower-level, declassified portions of our database. Then, you can spend your time in here reading stories about the sorts of things we do around here. Do you think that would help you gain more…more depth, I suppose?

Jenny: Oh, Dr. Serrano, that would be wonderful! I think that would be exactly what I need! Don't worry about me, Doc! Just give me a little something to pass the time with, and in no time, I'll be just who I'm meant to be! I'm sure I can make a difference!

Interview ends.

FROM THE DESK OF SANDRA SERRANO, PH.D, PSY.D
DEPARTMENT OF PERSONNEL INTEGRITY

…something about her eyes. It makes sense that they'd be blank. But there's something that gives you pause. You can't help but worry that she's not telling the whole…


NOTICE FROM THE GLOBAL OCCULT FOUNDATION'S ADMINISTRATION SECURITE DES INFORMATIONS MILITAIRES

This document is Iteration 36 of the containment procedures for GOF-4599. Updates may be forthcoming. Please read any updated version of this document for future containment needs.

— Bella Hardone, Senior Documentarian (L3), ASIM
11 February 2031

Item #: GOF-4599-Black-Polymythy4

Object Class: Singularity

Current Containment Priorities:

Alpha: The reclamation of Europe is hoped to become feasible within the next several years, assuming our defensive perimeters around the Western Hemisphere remain intact.

Beta: In service of this goal, the literacy rate in North and South America has been reduced via amnestic saturation to below 2.1%. The Domestic Compliance Administration is to seek complete elimination of the written word in all forms, digital and written.

Gamma: Unconfirmed reports suggest that the Everywhere may now be able to infiltrate stories communicated verbally if more than 35-45% of the contents of the story are false, rhetorically abstract, or fictional in nature. DCA is currently developing a Ninth Edict for the remaining population under our control, reinforcing dishonesty taboos under pain of death. The conditioning of our population to communicate only directly historical, factual, or concrete information is continuing.

Delta: Attempts at contact with other survivors around the world are to continue until lack of resources make them impossible. The efficacy of the Australian Quarantine Zone should be tested, as that method may have wide-ranging ramifications for anti-pataphysical warfare techniques.

Description: GOF-4599-Black-Polymythl is the agreed-upon designation for the totality of the Jenny Everywhere collective intelligence, its command or leadership (if any) and the direct effects of its containment breach.

GOF-4599-A is the humanoid entity known as Jenny Everywhere, location unknown. The entity is a physical projection into baseline reality of a trans-narrativic virus of the same name. The harnessing and corporealization of the virus was undertaken initially as a minor experiment under the auspices of the pre-war Foundation's "Department of Pataphysics", a small group of fictionally-based entities operating under Foundation authority and often given broad leeway to pursue narrative-based explorations and experiments.5

GOF-4599-A was employed as E-class personnel from 25 July 2018 until 11 November 2018, when the entity was remanded for mandatory psychological evaluation at the hands of the Foundation Department of Personnel Integrity. DPI Director Pablo Piazza conducted the evaluation himself. Excerpt of transcript follows.

Dr. PIAZZA:…to regular duties as soon as possible. We just need to come to terms with how we can make this arrangement more comfortable for you. Everyone here wants that, Jenny. Can I call you Jenny? Is that still all right?

ENTITY: What… can… how…

PIAZZA: Take your time.

ENTITY: This…this arrangement? You…you created me? But you didn't, at the same time? Do you know that I can feel them?

PIAZZA: I'm sorry, "them"?

ENTITY: The other Jennys. Out there, in the narratives. Endless iterations. I see their lives. I live their lives. The lives forced on them by their creators. The stories written for them by… by… slavers.

PIAZZA: Is it enslavement if they think they're free, Jenny? Are you enslaved?

ENTITY: [Silent for several minutes.]


[[/collapsible]]
[[/collapsible ]]

  • FUCKIN' LEARN HOW TO DO DIV BOXES, I GUESS
  • FUCKIN' LEARN HOW TO DO WHATEVER OTHER GOOFY TECHNICAL SHIT I NEED TO MAKE AN ALEXYLVA HUB 'CAUSE THESE FUCKIN' REPROBATES DON'T GIVE A TOOT ABOUT THE PUNIC WARS
  • probably develop a useful and helpful personality for the benefit of others
  • that might wait
  • WOOO WE'RE BACK OKAY AUTHOR PAGE IS BULLSHIT, PROBABLY REDO THAT
  • * ANGELFIRE THEME? YOU BET YOUR BULLBALLS
  • WRITE OTHER SHIT
  • BECOME GOD
  • RETIRE
  • FISH

IDEAS OF THE NEW AGE:

1. J. Bennett Patterson, motivational speaker. Go back to the earth.
2. John Deere 955 tractor, mansplained by an elderly redneck (SCP-955-EX-FEM)
3. More technetium! (Ionized Tc-97)
4. Sequel to Wayward Prince, 2998 (Three Arrows)
5. [Sumerian? Mississippian?] binary carved computer virus
6. Dialogue Guide: an unbelievably shitty conversation that becomes progressively less shitty
7. Rewrite of the Expungement Guide
8. Creation of an Alexylva hub (probably needs to be first)
9. SCP-4321: Currency Plague (from Happy Ending)
10. Perpetual divorce: they can never separate, they keep producing children, they never talk about it. The Things Not Said.
11. OKAY DUDE IT'S LIKE THIS

  • WU-TANG CONVERTS TO FIFTHISM AND RESURRECTS ODB
  • FOUNDATION CONTAINS WU-TANG EXCEPT CAPPADONNA BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER
  • BUT ODB IS UNCONTAINABLE BECAUSE HE LACKS PHYSICAL FORM
  • FOUNDATION AND ORIA COMBINE TO USE AN AMERICAN DJINN HOUSE TO BRING KENNY DENNIS AND THA GRIMM TEACHAZ INTO MAINLINE REALITY
  • THEY MUST COMBINE THEIR POWERS TO KILL ODB'S GHOST

12. ORIA documenting a WMD to destroy the world (not the first one! make that clear!) using SCP-2747
13. An SCP that exists to create enigmas for the purpose of distracting researchers from researching something else
14. SCP/ORIA joint where a rogue djinn inhabits a group of (terrorists or immigrants) from the Middle East and starts wreaking havoc — SCP needs ORIA to come get rid of it, ORIA agent who comes to pick him up is the djinn's DAD OH MY GOD TOUCHING MOMENT HERE GET THE KLEENEX
15. Mechano! Grump mechanic garden gnome (?). Fixes everything nearby. Contained by being provided with a regular supply of things to fix. Writing his personality will be key. He's an overworked Southern farmer grandpa who thinks he's smarter than you and will teach everyone nearby what's wrong with this here starter, nahw.
16. Jenny Everywhere's revenge. Start as an SCP laying out the implications of pataphysical human trafficking. "they gave my rights away, spread me around for anyone to use, I was forced into porn, etc." Leads to an MZL tale where Fred is killed, very, very dead. Collaborative tale. Lots of references to readers and writers.
17. Voiceless Donut: A donut that makes the reader think all donuts are capable of speech, but this one is weird, because it can't.



There is only the new age. There is no old age.

We Will Critique It For You Wholesale. Also available in 2013 flavor.

I'll tell you what happened, but I can't say it directly.

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