Mood-Enhancement Lamp (needs rewrite of concept)
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be contained in a magnetically sealed inanimate-item locker. The item is to be observed only by closed-circuit video. Destruction testing has been approved.
Description: SCP-XXX is a household table lamp mounted on a set of deer antlers. Proximity to the object is known to cause severe depression, agoraphobia, and wild mood swings. The item's origin is unknown, but it came to the Foundation's attention after Dr. ████████ failed to report for several consecutive routine check-ins. Agents sent to investigate his residence found him in a state of severe depression. At first he refused them entry, but Agents █████ and ████████ were able to prove their intentions. When questioned about his status with the Foundation, he became confrontational and aggressive. Agent █████ contacted O5-█ and received authorization to use non-lethal force to subdue Dr. ████████.
Interviewed: Dr. █████ ████████
Interviewer: [Voice unrecognized]
Foreword: Interrogation authorized by O5-█ upon forcible retrieval of Dr. ████████.
Interviewer: Is the tape rolling?
Unknown Voice: Yes, sir.
Dr. ████████: [noticeably irritated] Who gives a flying fig about your damned tape!
Interviewer: Now, just calm down, Doctor. We haven't even begun yet. I just want to get your side of the story and find out exactly what happened here.
Dr. ████████: I'm just depressed. A good friend of mine committed suicide recently, and it's taken its toll on me.
Interviewer: So why not request time off? Ask for a leave of absence for mourning? Why just not show up?
Dr. ████████: [appears to be pondering the question] I'm not sure. I suppose if I knew the answer to that, I would have simply done so.
Interviewer: Tell me about the event. Why were you so confrontational with the agents?
Dr. ████████: Agents… those [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] broke into my house! Confiscated my things! I'll [incomprehensible]
Closing Statement: Shortly after recording ceased, the doctor became noncommunicative and attempted to jump the desk and strangle his interviewer. He was forcibly removed from the room. A request has been lodged to transfer him to a holding cell and designate him SCP-XXX-1 until such time as his trauma can be corrected.
Agent █████ volunteered information on the initial encounter with Dr. ████████, after the doctor was placed in a secure holding cell.
Interviewer: I'm sure you know how the interview with the doctor went. I'm hoping you can shed some light on this for us.
Agent █████: It would be my pleasure, sir. Shall I start at the beginning?
Interviewer: That would be most helpful, yes.
Agent █████: *takes a deep breath* Well, when we arrived at Dr. ████████ house, it was in quite a state, as I'm sure you're already aware. Garbage on the floor, pizza boxes… it looked like he hadn't left the house for some time.
Interviewer: Explaining his absence here at the site, understandably. He also mentioned something about a friend of his dying?
Agent █████: Yes, I understand a good friend of his had committed suicide. When we investigated, it was discovered that the friend of his had died under similar circumstances. House disheveled, mentally wrecked… that was the first thing we found that connected the two.
Interviewer: What was the precise cause of death, if you were able to determine one?
Agent █████: As the doctor stated, it was suicide. Self-inflicted gunshot wound, done in the bathroom, presumably in front of a mirror. No evidence of foul play, naturally…
Interviewer: You said the "first thing" that connected them… what was the second?
Agent █████: The souvenir the doctor took. Apparently, he wanted a keepsake, something to remember his friend by. I guess he saw the deer-antler lamp and figured it had been there all along. He didn't remember it ever not being there.
Interviewer: So something about the lamp was obviously amiss to you.
Agent █████: Yes, definitely. I kept getting this strange sense of… *pauses* I'm not sure, now.
Interviewer: It's alright, just describe it as best as you can.
Agent █████: I had to have that lamp, ███. I would've killed for it, had the other agent not been there.
Interviewer: Then you didn't notice any odd behavior in the other agent? Uh, anything that might have indicated that he wanted the lamp as well?
Agent █████: No, in fact, I think it was the desire in my eyes that clued him into what was happening. As soon as we had the doctor in custody, he requested a containment team move in and secure it. Had he not been there, I don't know what would've happened. We might be bringing in two bodies, instead of a live doctor.
Closing Statement: As SCP-XXX is definitely an active threat to its current owner, but is otherwise relatively harmless, it is to be classified Euclid.
Untitled SCP-084 Story (for poorYoric)
"What? A whole town?" Lt. Colonel Hank Thornton look incredulously at his superior.
"That's right. Supposedly populated by three-hundred and forty-three people just like us. Gone." Colonel William Jones shrugged and shook his head dramatically, like it really meant anything to him.
"So, what about the broadcast shack?" Thornton's feet were still only half-covered by his boots. This latest mission they were embarking on was already sounding like a wash but when O5 said to jump, you didn't bother asking how high. You just fucking did it.
"Well, that's what we're going to find out. Hopefully." Jones spoke confidently, despite the words he said. This was an old tactic of his; convincing others to drop their facades by putting his own on, when in reality he was the most confident of them all. Nobody understood the power of words better than Col. Jones.
"Alright, so what's the equipment setup for the mission?" The colonel picked up his checklist and started running down it again.
"We got standard hazard material handling gear, gas masks, combination K2/EMF radiation meters, and of course, an expert to tell us how to run it all." Will hung his head out the door, "Dr. Goldstein, you want to come in here now? Oh, bring Jan with you too." Frank Goldstein and Jan van Bruggen entered the room, both briskly walking as if the fate of the world rested on their shoulders. "Lt. Col. Thornton, meet Dr. Goldstein and our communications officer, Mr. van Bruggen."