Tis night before Krampusnacht, and I think of world,
I think of steal little soul, and little soul innards unfurled.
*(Krampus be specific – only little soul Churls)
I rise up from mountain in great spiral and whorl,
From dark cave in Hochkalter, which stretch downward with swirl.
“Hauuaguuuahauuguh!” I cry, trample all on way to town;
Crushing little deer, little squirrel, make little fish drown.
Big youngling skin bag I soon fill with the same,
Thrown over shoulder like backpack or something.
I howl “Blaaaaauugugguguaar!”when I reach edge of town,
I laugh - they think wolf, think what was that sound!
But Krampus hear sound in air. He hear “Ho Ho Ho”,
Krampus see bastard St. Nicholas, flamboyant red woe.
“You’ve been naughty, lame Krampus, this I do know”
“I shall slay you with cheer, I shall make red the snow!”
“Blaaarggggh” Krampus yell ( this mean I say ‘no’).
I light bag of coal on fire, then balls of fire I will throw.
St. Nick dive from sled, wielding candy war hammer,
This new move for old rival, he make me stammer.
Krampus regain him’s wit, dodge fat vindicator,
Then Santa land flat and leave five mile crater.
Krampus throw volleys of coal with vigor so dire!
Nick laugh at them all, much to my ire.
Santa wear Spirit of Christmas, Jacket of Greater Resistance to Fire.
“Your time here is over; the age of Krampus since gone”
“Your end you shall see on the flat end of Merry Masher’s brawn!”
Krampus watch Santa beginning to spin
Krampus pray, ready Shield of Original Sin.
Nick release hammer, flying in glorious arc,
Cutting through reality, leaving tiny red sparks.
Krampus now gulp, great sledge close in on face…
Then utter forbidden words, hopeful for saving grace!
The hammer froze like the cold bitter snow,
Then ice it did melt, the ground it did glow!
From depths of Earth we both feel a quakin’
Who else surge from ground but dark lord Satan!
“Foolish Krampus, why do you summon me here?”
“I was just doing my taxes, ‘tis the end of the fiscal year.”
“I shall end you here and now in the snow.”
“For my time, your immortality, quid pro quo.”
Satan rise from fissure in Earth, he grow to towering height
Reflection of demons surged forth into night.
“Now, Asmodai! Now, Belial! Now Dagon and Gaermon!”
On, Leviathan! On, Mengele! On, Adramelech and Paelmon!”
Santa watch from afar with eyes showing fear,
As legions of Hell toward Krampus drew near.
Sky grow dark, this was end of Krampus for sure.
“Aaaaaauuuguuuh” I cry, Krampus would not endure.
Then Krampus hear Santa, he hear “Ho Ho Ho”!
See him encircled by reindeer in cold and dark snow.
"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer, and Vixen!
"On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!
Reindeer crash with legion in flurry of miasma and gore,
Then Santa swoop in to save Krampus, showing cheer and rapport.
“Join me Krampus you must, the threat oh so great.”
“You must help me save Christmas, before it’s too late!”