I realize that there is approximately no chance in hell of this ever being adopted, but I've been kicking it around in my head for a while and I wanted to get it down somewhere.
The current system of object classes (Safe/Euclid/Keter) lacks both nuance and precision. I would prefer a two-axis system, as follows.
The containment class of an SCP object describes the difficulty of keeping the object contained and of preventing the object's destruction.
Note that living things are usually not Passive due to ongoing requirements for food and other maintenance. Similarly, immobile objects in locations easily accessible to the public often require active measures to prevent discovery.
This is appended to a Passive, Active, or Unstable classification, e.g. Passive/Partial. At least one instance of object is currently in containment, and at least one instance is currently not in containment. Examples: SCP-216, SCP-571. New in version 2.
The threat class of an SCP object describes the scope of the potential consequences if its containment is breached.
Containment breach affects one or a few individuals, small objects, or a small area. Cleanup procedures are limited to containing or terminating affected individuals, isolating or neutralizing affected objects or areas, and administering amnestics to bystanders. Examples: SCP-342, SCP-173.
Containment breach affects a significant portion of the planet or species. In the event that the Foundation survives the breach, cleanup procedures consist of reclassification as SCP-EX. Examples: SCP-123, SCP-435.
This is appended to a Local or Broad classification, e.g. Local/Security. While object's direct effects are limited in scope, in the wrong hands it could be used to compromise Foundation security. Examples: SCP-105, SCP-311. New in version 2.
Note: Further examples available as document SB-T8E6 Analysis.
(Deprecated. For reference, this proposal was designated SB-J25F.)
I want to have a way to refer uniquely to things still in draft stage. The identifier should be short and probably-unique, without requiring sitewide coordination. I believe that a random 4-character alphanumeric string should work for this purpose. The mandatory SB- prefix stands for SandBox, and indicates unambiguously that the indicated material is of draft status.
Including usernames would have also worked, but "Draft-Lireci-003" sounded weirdly egocentric.
- Something that only happens in broad daylight, because Darkness = Scary is overdone. SCP-272 doesn't quite count because of the strong reliance on Shadow.
- Something infectious that has an incubation(?) period during which subject is contagious but displays no symptoms.
- EX: Ice-9 style miswater; previously, water didn't freeze. Containment breach resulted in completely wiping out Antarctic civilization.
- A simplistic carving or painting of an eye. Occasionally blinks.
- Anything that implies it's watching you but doesn't otherwise interact. (At least, not something that eventually escalates into "and then it leaps out and kills you". Keep it on the level of unconsummated dread.)
- -J: SPC article detailing Standard Punching Conventions. Already been done.
- A contagious tattoo of a stylized eye. Every once in a while, the eye winks, and anyone who sees it gets their own tattoo. (Is this too similar to Palimpsest? I wasn't thinking of that when I came up with it, and it's a fairly obscure reference anyway. Also is actually pretty different now I think about it. Probably fine.)
- Now reclassified as Contagious Wink.
- The test logs shown on the site are obviously summarized from more thorough data. Write (an excerpt of) an unabridged log: boring and mostly irrelevant, because you don't know ahead of time which variables are going to be relevant so you have to record all of them.
- Something that seems random-ish, but also has patterns that may or may not mean something.
- A horrific giant spider monster thing out of nightmares that has the personality of a kindly old grandmother who wants to make you tea and cookies.
- GOI: Splinter group that thinks the Foundation has drifted from its core mission. Calls for proper containment on SCP objects such as 458 and 529. Calls for cessation of all testing not directly related to improving containment procedures, such as on 447 and 914. Possible names: Standard Protocols Campaign, Stricter Containment Police, Stop Having Fun Guys.
Newbies often believe incorrectly that SCP-682 absorbs the powers of SCP objects it is exposed to. Unfortunately, the 682 termination log contains several entries that tend to support this misconception. The Kirby index is the ratio of kirboid entries to all entries in the termination log.
Following calculations as of 27 May 2012.
|Total: 31||Not Kirby|
|689||017||053||173||Clef||Impact||Child||Child, drugged||Dr. W||Flowers|
Kirby index: 5/36 ≈ 14%
If we omit the joke entries, we obtain:
|Total: 31||Not Kirby|
Non-joke Kirby index: 5/30 ≈ 17%
However, I believe that the real problem is that the Kirby logs are mostly located near the beginning, where they will have the most impact on a cursory reading. Therefore, taking only the entries before the first joke log (about the first 3-4 pages), we obtain the following:
|Total: 4||Not Kirby|
Pre-joke Kirby index: 3/7 ≈ 43%
Final note: I don't feel like going through the entire site looking for stray 682 cross-tests, but I note that the 999 attempt is a kirboid incident.
This document assumes that the reader possesses a basic knowledge of memetics. If this is not the case, the reader should view the document Understanding Memetics before proceeding.
Memetic agents pose a unique threat to the security of Foundation intelligence and other assets. In order to protect yourself and your colleagues, please observe the following precautions at all times.
1. No Upward Disclosure
Do not reveal detailed information regarding any SCP object to personnel of a higher security clearance than yourself unless specifically ordered to do so. If you have reason to believe that particular information may constitute a memetic hazard or infohazard, then you are required to refuse all orders to disclose it.
2. No Transfer
Because there exist memetically transmissible hazards that are not eradicated by currently-existing amnestics, it is not possible for Foundation personnel to alter their security clearance under any circumstances. You will never be promoted or demoted except to be contained or terminated. Similarly, you will never be transferred to another SCP object.
Please remember that this policy applies to all personnel, including D-Class. The reader is invited to view Document MHX9374 for an illustration of the reasons.
3. Personal Memetic Hygiene
You were administered a Class-B (total retrograde) amnestic upon your acquisition by the Foundation. Similarly, when not being read into security procedures such as this document, you will remain under the influence of Class-C (short-term anterograde) amnestics in order to limit the spread of lesser memetic infections. You will make use of notes and other recording equipment to store any relevant data for long-term storage and analysis; this will be passed through quarantine procedures (see Document ND7Z) before entry into a database.
4. Network Isolation
You will not be allowed to leave the facility where you are stationed. You will not be allowed a computer that can access the Internet. Additionally, the files for each SCP object will be stored on a dedicated machine that is not connected to the Foundation intranet.
A variety of pornographic materials are available from the psychiatric ward. Please note that psychiatric staff use Class-C amnestics for reasons stated above.
5. Emergency Procedures
If you believe that a memetic outbreak may be in progress, immediately locate and activate the nearest Memetic Quarantine alarm. These alarms are diamond-shaped and colored magenta with an orange border.
Signs of a potential memetic outbreak include:
- Highly erratic behavior, especially in personnel monitoring an SCP object remotely
- Signs of contextually inappropriate emotional response
- Signs of strong emotional response in non-D-Class personnel
- Deviation from secure containment procedures, testing protocols, or other known policy
- Strong religious feelings, especially directed toward an SCP object
- Partial or total failure of amnestics
Do not attempt to breach an active Memetic Quarantine under any circumstances.
1. O5-X and SCP-05X.
Unacceptable: "oh five one".
Acceptable for O5-1: "oh five dash one", "overseer one".
Acceptable for SCP-051: "zero five one", "SCP oh five one".
2. O5 and O5-5.
Unacceptable: "overseer five".
Acceptable for O5: "oh five".
Acceptable for O5-5: "oh five dash five".
3. SCP-WXYZ and SCP-WXY-Z, where W≠0.
Unacceptable: "one two three four".
Acceptable for SCP-1234: "twelve three four".
Acceptable for SCP-123-4: "one two three dash four", "one twenty three four".
4. SCP-XYZ and SCP-XY0-Z.
Unacceptable: "one twenty three".
Acceptable for SCP-123: "one two three".
Acceptable for SCP-120-3: "one twenty dash three", "one two oh dash three".
4a. SCP-WXYZ and SCP-WXY0-Z.
Unacceptable: "twelve thirty four".
Acceptable for SCP-1234: "twelve three four".
Acceptable for SCP-1230-4: "twelve thirty dash four", "twelve three oh four".
5. SCP-X0Y and SCP-X00-Y.
Unacceptable: "two hundred one".
Acceptable for SCP-201: "two oh one".
Acceptable for SCP-200-1: "two hundred dash one", "two oh oh dash one".
6. SCP-X00Y and SCP-X000-Y.
Unacceptable: "two thousand one".
Acceptable for SCP-2001: "twenty oh one".
Acceptable for SCP-2000-1: "twenty hundred one", "twenty oh oh one", "two thousand dash one".
It is recommended that letter subdesignations (SCP-123-A, SCP-123-a) be favored over number subdesignations (SCP-123-1).
Series 1 SCP objects should never be given as four-digit designations, as there is no unambiguous pronunciation for (e.g.) "SCP-0123".
The Series 3 of SCP objects presents an as-yet-unresolved difficulty. SCP-2134 cannot be pronounced as:
- "two one three four" (SCP-213-4)
- "twenty one three four" (SCP-2013-4)
- "two one thirty four" (SCP-2130-4)
- "twenty one thirty four" (SCP-2130-4)
No fully acceptable pronunciation for Series 3 numbers has yet been identified. It is suggested that pronunciation of dashes be made mandatory in all cases. This would have the additional benefit of eliminating all other ambiguities identified in this document. However, it is non-backward-compatible in that unambiguity requires assuming without proof that the speaker conforms to the new standard.
It may be possible to indicate fully-dashed pronunciation by including the "SCP-" prefix, e.g. "SCP dash two one three four" for SCP-2134, provided that the prefix dash is never pronounced without the infix dash also being pronounced. (I.e., "SCP dash two one three four" should never refer to SCP-213-4.) This is not strictly unambiguous, but relies on a somewhat reasonable assumption.
Alternatively, a suffix dash may be adopted, e.g., "two one three four dash" for SCP-2134.
A small population (~5000-10000) of humanoids, lacking the symbiote ████████ ██████ found in humans. Symptoms of ████████ ██████ deficiency include:
- Severe erythematotelangiectatic rosacea.
- Reduced physical strength, slowness of movements, and impaired motor coordination.
- Significantly increased resistance to radiation burns.
- Physical development as herbivorous, including alterations to nutritional requirements, digestive tract, and dental structure.
- Significantly decreased risk of mortality from penetrating trauma, including rupture of major organs.
- Accelerated senescence.
- Presence in the bloodstream of [DATA EXPUNGED], which has been found to be highly addictive to humans, but has no discernible effect on SCP-XXXX.
- Apparent immunity to the aversive properties of the SCP-████ glyph.
Approximately 30% of SCP-XXXX practice a religion unattested in extant human populations, which practitioners refer to as [REDACTED]. The SCP-████ glyph features prominently in [REDACTED] iconography.
Intravenous introduction of ████████ ██████ to individual SCP-XXXX instances has resulted in rapid total reversal of these symptoms. SCP-XXXX instances have expressed religious objections to this procedure.