Hi! I'm Reject, and this is my sandbox! I've organized the stuff here on different tabs to make it more visually pleasing. PM me if you want to leave constructive criticism, which I would love. Seriously, PM me. Yep.

For stuff that I'm seriously considering posting but I'm not quite sold on, check out this page o'er here. Or, maybe, it's up there to be shown off from the forums or the chat and it's easier to see there. Whatever, just click it. Fuck you.

Derps:

• A GoI that uses SCPs to play jokes on people
  • They would get mad at people who try to make tasteless jokes (mass murder) because it's not funny, it's just fucked up. Waxx, that means you. Sorry.
• Tale about the Tothbrush being Satan for the CotBG.
• Tale about a guy trying to decomm the fork.
• SCP about scary toilet paper
• Band-Aid SCP
• Bellerverse Tale (with 294)
• Bellerfarse
• Example list for Cliches page
• Slutty Guinea Pig
• Tale about 419
• Parody Universe Tale
  • 212 draws dicks on people
  • 1893 can only speak in farts
  • 453 causes spontaneous dance numbers
  • 600's name is Jimmy and he plays Runescape
  • 597 hands out chocolate chip cookies
  • 173 is a LOLcat
  • 033 is 69 (lol)
• Exploding Nuns (how in the…)
• Groundhog Day Crossover (Agent in a timeloop, thinks the girl is an SCP)
• 001 Proposal: Burning pile of flesh (D-Class machine)
• Tale about 173 trying to study the human eye: kills accidentally trying to get a closer look.

Also this is really cool.

Pastebins:

• http://pastebin.com/EXzpjhTp - 1270/1170 Tale thing
• http://pastebin.com/QqFNduwu - Shitty Interview
• http://pastebin.com/nWWM7GaH - Untitled Humanoid

FoldUnfold Table of Contents CHRISTMAS :) SENIOR STAFF SHENANIGANS ANOTHER LEGEND Epic Rap Battle O5-14

CHRISTMAS :)

I have been alive in this state for about a week, and there are a couple things that I've figured out. Firstly, I think I'm in a time (CHOP!) loop, because every eleven seconds, I wind up in the same place somehow. Second (CHOP! OW!) , axes really fucking hurt, and I feel one hacking at me all the time. Third, I am fully (CHOP!) conscious, even though my left arm keeps being chopped off. Finally, the sky is (CHOP! OW!) for some reason changing; it used to be my house, then it got all dark, then an office. Although it (CHOP!) is really hard to tell, what with everything outside being fisheyed and all the damn snow that keeps falling. And the worst (nonono CHOP!) bit is that my assailant isn't even human. In fact, other than his facial features, he's completely made of snow. (AUGH! CHOP! AUGH!). And here we go again!

---

SENIOR STAFF SHENANIGANS

Research Assistant Reject was having a nice, calm day, sipping his coffee and skimming through his newest batch of paperwork while strolling down the hallway to his office. He was called Reject for a very good reason: although he had been a member of the Foundation for ten years, he had been the same rank for over seven of them. He even called himself Reject. His bachelorhood had hopelessly dragged on much longer than he had ever hoped. He was used to being a reject. That was, until he spotted a man in a suit walking into Dr. Clef's office.

Reject was never known as an especially observant person, but today was different. He had heard about some pranks going on, but he didn't really care about any of that. He was determined to work his way up the ladder without shaving cream or explosives, just with hard work and dedication. Until he saw a very happy man running out of Dr. Clef's office, his arms crossed upon his chest. Reject could see a brown paper bag bobbing slightly above and below the man's arms. His interest piqued, Reject decided to follow him.

The man never turned around as he walked. Reject didn't have any trouble following him. Ten minutes later, Reject realized just how far they had walked. He turned his head. "Accounting —>" was written on a sign, pointing in the direction that he was going. After another couple of minutes, the man turned sharply into an office. Reject peeked into the room to see another man converse shortly with the man he had followed and take the bag. Reject ducked behind a corner as both men exited the office.

Reject attempted to follow the man with the bag, but lost him in the maze of cubicles and offices in this unknown sector. Reject turned to leave, but decided not to let this go. This chance was his. He called up an old friend from Sector 28 with a favor to ask. His friend agreed, and in an hour, Reject knew that he would have the chance to become a Senior Staff member.

One hour later, Reject met his friend in the cafeteria. Reject's friend handed him a bag with two words written on it. "DON'T LOSE." Reject smiled, and walked briskly down towards the accounting offices. Once there, he took the item out of the bag. Staring at a sentient calculator was a new experience for him. After befriending SCP-168, he asked his new buddy a favor. The calculator agreed in return for the ability to see the rest of the prank war. Reject dropped SCP-168 in the office he had seen before as soon as the man inhabiting it left. Reject admired his handiwork. He took a seat on a nearby chair. When the man returned, he gave Reject a questioning glance, but dismissed it. After five minutes in his office, a scream was heard. When the man exited his office, his face was pale white. In his hand was SCP-168.

The man looked at the calculator and said "Okay, okay. I'll go get it. I didn't realize the world would end if I didn't! I feel so awful…" Reject chuckled to himself and began to shadow the man as he hurried down the hallways. When they arrived at a file cabinet, the man stopped. He ran his finger along the cabinet until he reached "2004 Operating Budget Reports Jan-Mar." He started typing on the calculator. After a short period, the calculator responded. The man jumped back, aghast. He yelped "No! I brought you to the stupid monkey! That can't be!" Reject quickly decided he'd had enough of complaining from this unknown man and dealt a swift uppercut to the jaw followed by an elbow to the nose. As he fell, Reject grabbed SCP-168 and the brown paper bag. Overjoyed, he began to walk back to his office. He looked once more at the unconscious accountant on the ground. And then he laughed, and left this bloody, deceptive business behind him as he strolled back towards his office with a renewed sense of confidence.

---

ANOTHER LEGEND

The following audio log was recovered from the archives of Site 17 following Incident ████-██.

"This is Agent Nectunt. Ya'll done fucked up big time."

"Excuse me? Agent, I'll have you know that none of our intel suggested that a Keter-level Scip would run through Site 19. We normally contain and assess threats rather than assess right on the spot."

"Ya'll still fucked up."

"We've had worse containment breaches, Agent."

"A giant pig ran straight through Site 19, snagging Dr. Rights and taking her with it."

"It was an unforeseeable tragedy, Agent. Fortunately we have intelligence suggesting where the Scip will be next, though. Your mission will be to intercept it. Hopefully you should get the chance to recover Rights while you're at it."

"Great. Where do want me? My team sorta died thanks to your little 'unforeseeable tragedy'."

"Um… we're gonna need a bit of time to fully prepare your team, Nectunt. It's dangerous to go alone!"

"I'm ready now."

"Agent Nectunt, you are going to wait for a full Task Force to assist you."

"Yeah, whatever. How long should it be until we set out?"

"Seven years."

"You want us to wait for seven fucking years to catch a Scip that we saw less than twelve hours ago?"

"Yeh. Don't blame the intel, Agent. It's all we've got."

"That's idiotic."

"…"

"Where do you expect us to be after that?"

"Remember that forest you went to? With the huge, possibly sapient tree?"

"You can't be serious. Lemme guess, then you want us to go back to the cave that pretty much collapsed on us."

"Actually, we may want you at a slightly higher elevation. In a volcano."

"I can't fucking believe that I'm hearing this. Fuck you."

"Listen! Agent Nectunt, I'd like to ask you to relax. Once the mission begins, it should be quick work to check those locations."

"Are you kidding me? I spent three fucking months inside of 169!"

---

Epic Rap Battle

Note: The following audio log was recovered security cameras inside of SCP-682's containment cell during Incident 682-076-1JF4D-NA5, in which SCP-076-2 breached containment and engaged in combat with SCP-682. For the full incident report, please refer to Document 682-076-1JF4D-NA5.

Begin Log

SCP-076-2: You say you fucked my mother? I'll fucking kill you, man. Nobody fucks with A-to-the B L E.

SCP-682: Faggot, you just wish you was me. Stop playing, maybe I'll spare you.

SCP-076: Yea, yea, yea, yea, alright boy, this time you asked for it!
A vat of acid, that's your decorum?
Check my swag, I'm back in a black case
Just in case you missed the memo, I'm based!

I'm the king of the hill, as real as they come,
You was probably rich, but I came from the slums.
A heart of darkness, but I came the farthest,
Your flow is retarded, if I want beef then I'll start it!

SCP-682: I killed you before, I can do it some more.
I'm getting hundreds, you got twenties, but lemme settle the score.
No cheap ass screwball from off the street
Can withstand the weight beneath 682's feet!

I'm the out-of-town gangster, major shot-caller,
I call guard's necks snapbacks, which I brought back, holla,
I'm a straight up baller, rhyming sicker than HOVA,
You the sun of a gun, I scare the shit out of Jehova.

SCP-076: Ay yo, let's be real, eh?
I'm the realest realist, I never change,
You have to adapt and move, can't stick with one flow
But I can spit so hot that my fucking mouth glows.

What's your killcount total? Every time I win!
The greatest warrior of all time, the rhymes I spin,
The lives chagrined at the child of Him,
And the Grandson of the One, I'm able to spit, bitch.

SCP-682: Hahaha, call that a line, close your eyes and stay alive
You can die from minutes with me, and yes, I've tried.
Call yourself a superhero when you're really super queer, yo,
Yo shit's cheesier than Cheetos, gayer than a speedo.

Sorry, when's the last time I lost my life? Never!
You can't live more than a few years, but me? Forever!
You can die and come back, fag, and get smacked.
My casual causality actually gets stacks.

Weak from the human pussy you got? Please.
You get less than that ████ SCP-073.
I take mine, stay fly, make Rights get wide
I'm a killer all day, all night. Alright?

682, a legendary number,
Cuz a real OG went and made it a Wonder.
I got so many pocket dimensions, call them lint,
I see your eensy weensy knives and their even littler glint

SCP-076: The smallest knife I got outreaches your body,
at 100 percent, yet, to which you never get,
Then I whip out the swagger dagger, old school like Atari
and knock off your right side, bitch, match, game and set!

You just a real hater, and you been recorded saying it.
You play the game just to win, but I play it to play it.
A primordial beast, you disgusting, fuck this,
So push me, pussy, I've been wanting to cut the shit.

Note: At this point, SCP-682 became even more enraged and pounced on SCP-076-2. After ██ seconds, vital signs for SCP-076-2 ceased.

SCP-682: Come at me, bro.

End Log

O5-14

Please, Everett, sit down! Who am I, you ask? Oh, I'm O5-14!

I don't exist? Bullshit. You know who else didn't exist? Hitler. Because I was him.

Oh, so has One been telling you all of his secrets? I bet you're enjoying his little tales so much. My favorite tale of his is the one where he got bitten by a radioactive spider and became the hero Site 19 needed, not the one it deserved! What? You're asking if it's true? I don't know, do your own research, you lazy jackass.

This page does not exist.

---

The "scp-XXXX" does not and has not ever existed.

Item #: SCP-1041

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1041 is contained in Area 15, located in the ██████ Sound. Surrounding it is a sphere of wire netting to ensure that no large objects enter the containment area. Access is to be denied to all persons attempting to enter regardless of rank. SCP-1041 must always be submerged in water from the ██████ Sound. Natural water currents are not to be obstructed, due to the likelihood of an ongoing Class 3 scenario if that were the case. Guards are positioned no closer to SCP-1041 than the second barrier.

During Class 2 and 3 scenarios, SCP-1041 must be remotely monitored. If any drastic change in behavior is noted, Dr. ██████ is to be notified immediately. Attempts to rescue items or personnel from SCP-1041 is prohibited, as well as being undoubtedly suicidal. In the case that the ██████ Sound begins to drain, Protocol Tempest is to be enacted.

Yes, I know it isn't likely that the ██████ Sound will drain, but it would be a disaster for containment if it did. Not to mention that Area 15 would become highly visible. -Dr. ██████

Description: SCP-1041 are a set of metal statues, twenty-six (26) total (individually referred to as SCP-1041-1 through -26). All appear to be children with heights ranging of 4'4" to 4'8". SCP-1041 have three different states of motion, referred to as Class 1-3 scenarios. During a Class 1 scenario, no movement is detected. This is the ideal state for SCP-1041 to be in.

During a Class 2 scenario, SCP-1041 are standing in a circle, each one grasping the hands of the statues adjacent to them, and facing outwards. At random moments, SCP-1041 will animate slightly, shifting themselves with the apparent goal of counter-clockwise locomotion. The hands on SCP-1041 will also raise and lower slightly during these moments. Bubbles can be seem emanating from the mouths as well. This state must be monitored closely.

During a Class 3 scenario, SCP-1041 animates much more quickly than in a Class 2 scenario. Rather than moving slowly in a circle, the statues leap up and destroy the solid object. Fortunately, small natural currents are present around SCP-1041, with the effect that small, light, solid objects cannot enter the circle in the center of SCP-1041 (hereafter the Activation area). When a large solid object enters the Activation area, a Class 3 scenario begins. The speed of SCP-1041 would not be supernatural for a human being, as the speed at which they move is not greater than 30 KMH.
The statues have shown remarkable strength and agility (much more than is possible for a human), although the extent of these qualities has not been found. SCP-1041 have been reported to utilize multiple different tactics when neutralizing an enemy, including mixed martial arts, pressure point application (to humans and machines), and underwater weaponry such as electrical shocks and torpedoes. After eliminating and disposing of solid materials, SCP-1041 will revert to a Class 1 scenario.

SCP-1041 have ventured as far as 1.3km away from the Activation Area in order to neutralize an enemy, after which they returned. Attempts to intercept SCP-1041 between neutralizing a solid object and returning to the Activation area have been met with what is referred to as a Class 3.5 scenario, where SCP-1041 will become hostile but only have the goal of returning to their original position circling the Activation Area.

Many times, fluctuations between Class 2 and Class 3 scenarios will take place. SCP-1041 spend a great deal more time in Class 2 scenarios (approximately 93%), but can violently lash out at random moments. SCP-1041 avoids attacking its separate parts, even if it would normally be motivated to do so.

Addendum:

Item #: SCP-1026

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1026 is to be contained in Area 7, built around it. Standard procedures are to be enacted in the case of a civilian entering Area 7, including the administration of Class A amnesiacs. Subjects who have undergone testing are to be terminated immediately afterwards except in special cases due to the risk of sudden and uncontrollable onset of "characters." Guards are to be positioned at all times outside of SCP-1026 to deny entry to all personnel except under testing conditions. The door to SCP-1026 is to be locked except during testing.

Description: SCP-1026 is a second-grade classroom located in [REDACTED] Elementary School, [REDACTED], United States. Area 7 has been built around the school due to its inherent immobility. SCP-1026 has twenty-five metal desks with attached seats, one chalkboard, and wooden flooring. Above the chalkboard and around the perimeter of the room are paper cutouts of the letters of the English alphabet, along with other minor furnishings fully consistent with other classrooms in that school. No other parts of the school demonstrate any abnormal properties. Anomalies occur when certain actions are performed within SCP-1026. When such specific actions occur, subjects immediately undergo strong personality changes, acting like one of twenty-one (21) “characters” rather than themselves.

The onset of new personalities takes place between one (1) and seven (7) seconds after the triggering action is taken. Subjects abruptly revert to their normal personalities when they exit SCP-1026 or are in SCP-1026 for more than ██ minutes. Random reoccurrences of these characters in subjects have also been reported, albeit rarely and not for long periods of time (see Incident Report 1026-B). The actions performed by a subject correspond to a specific character, even if the subject and the character are of different genders. However, no characters as of yet have been reported to perform gender-specific actions.

Fewer than five (5) characters have been evaluated to be fully sane. Partial psych evaluations have been conducted on subjects (see Psych Log 1026). Researchers working on SCP-1026 have concluded that almost all of these characters match the records of a class of schoolchildren attending [REDACTED] Elementary School in 1931, none of whom are alive as of ██/██/████.

Excerpted from Experiment Log 1026-A.

Action taken by subject: Writing on a wall or chalkboard.
Record of subject: Subject begins to exhibit symptoms of Tourette Syndrome immediately after the action is performed. As with Tourette Syndrome, the affected subject will adopt a tic. In this case, the subject will develop a strong chorea and will jitter uncontrollably. Subject will respond to "Gus," although prolonged interviewing has not proved fruitful due the inability of the subject to concentrate and, at times, talk.
Brief evaluation of character: Gus seems to have Tourette Syndrome. In the early 1930s, no significant medication was available for controlling tics caused by mental disorders such as Tourette Syndrome.

-It should be noted that it was this character who spawned the urban legend, leading the Foundation to SCP-1026. -Dr. ██████

---

Action taken by subject: Consumption of one’s own mucus.
Record of subject: Subject becomes violently angry, attempting to smash whatever they can reach, and will screech at any persons coming near (see Incident Report 1026-B). Subject responds to “Annabelle.”
Brief evaluation of character: Multiple experiments with this character have shown that it is only on very rare occasions that she does not act in this fashion. It has been shown to be nearly impossible to gather very much information from Annabelle for the previously stated reason. Attempts to calm her down so far have been met with failure.

---

Action taken by subject: Lighting an object on fire.
Record of subject: Subject immediately attempts to light the rest of SCP-1026 on fire. Targets of this urge include but are not limited to desks, chalk, the wooden floor, and themselves. Subject also has attempted to light the air in front of them on fire. He avoids physical altercation, even when armed. Subject responds to “Jimmy.”
Brief evaluation of character: Jimmy shows early warning signs of a serial arsonist or at the very least, a pyromaniac. However, his fear of fighting shows that he may also be highly insecure. Jimmy is easily interviewed, having an IQ of 90 (slightly below average).

---

Action taken by subject: Tripping a female human.
Record of subject: Subject develops a sadistic sense of humor, showing a strong preference for tripping other people. Subject shows a preference to attacking female humans, but is ecstatic no matter who his victim is. He also strives to cause as much pain to his victims as possible, sometimes picking up and dropping desks or chairs on to his targets. Subject responds to “Roger.”
Brief evaluation of character: Roger appears to be highly chauvinistic, much more so than is normal for boys his age. In addition, this character expresses happiness at the sight of people sustaining serious injuries. More often than not, Roger causes these injuries. If not prevented from doing so, Roger proceeds to kill and sometimes dismember his victims. He has an IQ of 125 (above average).

---

Action taken by subject: Vaginal or anal penetration of one or more persons.
Record of subject: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Brief evaluation of character: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Addendum 01: Due to the lack of new information emerging from experimentation on already-evaluated characters, testing with them is hereby prohibited. However, testing of new characters is to be continued until further notice. - O5-█

Addendum 02: Cross referencing experiment logs and records of [REDACTED] Elementary School show that there were four students in the class who have not yet been triggered in subjects. The teacher has also not appeared in our experiment logs. Testing must continue until those five characters are discovered and assessed. -Dr. ██████

Item #: SCP-1918-EX

Object Class: Euclid/Keter Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1918 is an extreme biohazard, and as such, protocol involving SCP-1918 must be enacted with extreme caution. Samples of SCP-1918 are kept in [REDACTED], in [REDACTED] airtight containers, each containing ███mg. Personnel testing SCP-1918 are to be terminated following the conclusion of their experiments. Termination methods are limited to cremation, along with the incineration of all objects foreign to the quarantined room surrounding the containers of SCP-1918. In this room are two separate airlocks, an incinerator, samples of SCP-1918, and laboratory equipment selected by Site Director Walsh. Samples of SCP-1918-EX are contained in multiple non-Foundation-owned locations; however, no experimentation is necessary at this point and samples are to be left alone.

Description: SCP-1918-EX appears to be a mutation of a virus commonly known as [REDACTED], currently classified in the family Orthomyxoviridae. This mutation has been shown to have a much higher lethality and infectiousness than the original strain. Although many civilians have developed an immunity to the original virus, it is hypothesized that very few will also be immune to SCP-1918-EX. How this virus is so deadly is currently unknown. Symptoms of SCP-1918-EX are nearly identical to the original strain, but with increased severity. These symptoms include high fever, chills, muscular pain, violent coughing, sore throat, and fatigue. The virus generally kills its victims utilizing hypercytokinemia, causing the immune system of the victim to overreact, with such collateral damage that the infected person ends up dying.

The pathogen is transmitted either through direct contact, second-hand contact, contact of bodily fluids, or through airborne routes. A minute amount of SCP-1918 is necessary to cause infection. The virus has also shown the ability to persist outside of the body for as long as three days. SCP-1918, like all related pathogens, infects the respiratory tract of a subject. Individual "cells" of SCP-1918 rarely travel beyond the respiratory tract to the stomach, heart, or intestines. More intensive study on the pathophysiology of SCP-1918 is currently underway.

Addendum 01, Origins: During one of the first approved tests of SCP-914, a sample of H2N2 was put through in a glass microscope slide set on "Fine." The slide was returned without any traces of H2N2, with SCP-1918-EX in its place. No further tests on H2N2 were conducted. Due to its anomalous origins, SCP-1918-EX was classified as an SCP. Further testing showed it to be potentially more lethal than the Black Plague, and was further classified as Euclid/Keter.

Addendum 02, Containment Breach: During the relocation of SCP-1918 from [REDACTED] to Biohazard Containment Facility ██, samples have been lost. Although only a minute amount is unaccounted for, due to its classification, the threat level has been raised. SCP-1918 has probably not spread. But if it has, we are looking at millions dead over the next few months. Actions have been taken, many more will be soon. This is not going to be a QK-end-of-world-class scenario. Remember, Secure, Contain, Protect. —O5-█

Addendum 03, Reclassification: Thanks to allied collaborations of many countries over more than half a century, the genetic code for SCP-1918 has been discovered by scientists. In addition, nearly fully-effective vaccines have been created and distributed worldwide to protect against SCP-1918. Due to the fame of SCP-1918 and the fact that modern science has explained it in depth without significant room for error, SCP-1918 is hereby reclassified as SCP-1918-EX. —O5-██

Item #: SCP-1170

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the incorporeal nature of SCP-1170-2, it is unable to be extracted a safe distance from local residents. As such, Area 1170 has been built around SCP-1170-1. The entire apartment complex has been blocked off; however, due to its rather public location, Foundation personnel are required to maintain disguises when in view.

Shift changes for stationed guards occur every three hours. No personnel are to be permitted entry to SCP-1170-1 except in special cases under any circumstances.

Description: SCP-1170-1 is a windowless bedroom, located on the second floor of Apartment #21 in the ████ ███████ Apartment Complex, ██████, British Columbia. The room is 20m x 20m x 3.2m, and appears on all security footage to be an empty room with hardwood floors and concrete walls. The room is unable to be illuminated by standard forms of light (excluding the built-in light fixture), as the darkness within the room seems to re-direct certain waves of light away from the door, causing the room to be effectively unlit. The interior of the room appears to be pitch black when viewed without specialized equipment, which is theorized to be due to [REDACTED]. Certain waves of light entering the camera lens seem to encounter no resistance from SCP-1170-1 allowing infrared and night vision cameras to be utilized. All light wavelengths are in some way affected by SCP-1170-1, and as such, the room must be monitored with extreme caution for fear of memetic hazard. There is currently no confirmation as to whether radio waves are also manipulated. Audio recording devices have shown to work to an extent.

Upon triggering the built in light fixture, located approximately 3/4 meters away from the door on the western-facing wall, further anomalous behavior is characterized. At this point, subjects claim that the bedside lamps in the room activate, although security footage shows no change in luminescence and infrared cameras do not detect any heat source other than the subjects. In addition, subjects describe the room to have a bed, fireplace, two bedside tables, ████████████ and two lamps, none of which appear in security footage. It is theorized that this effect may be purely psychic in nature

Approximately 1:30 (one minute and thirty seconds) into the examination, an entity (hereafter SCP-1170-2) appears visible to the night vision camera (though only barely, as wavelengths emitted are only up to 10⁶ meters in length). SCP-1170-2 shows humanoid bone structure sporting an inverted joint system. Footage taken shows no interaction between the subject and SCP-1170-2. At any time between 2 (two) seconds and 40 (forty) minutes after SCP-1170-2 appears, both it and any foreign objects in the room (be them cameras, external lights, or test subjects) vanish. SCP-1170-2 only appears to human subjects who have been present in SCP-1170-1 for the entirety of the time proceeding that appearance of SCP-1170-2. Exiting the room is not recommended while the spectre is present in the room, as [DATA EXPUNGED]. It is uncertain as to whether or not SCP-1170-1 physically exists or is simply an illusion produced by SCP-1170 by manipulating wavelengths in the near infrared spectrum.

Monitoring of SCP-1170-1 has shown that subjects in the room seem to be conversing with a partner during times that SCP-1170-2 is present, presumed to be the spectre due to information collected from audio recordings. It is possible that SCP-1170-2 has a memetic effect, due to the sharp changes in emotion experienced in subjects conversing with the spectre.

At random points, objects may appear in SCP-1170-1. Although must are mundane and have been tested negatively for anomalous properties, blood has appeared on the walls, roof, and floor of the room. Blood samples have matched that of D-Class personnel who have vanished with SCP-1170-2. Fecal matter, semen, saliva, and [DATA EXPUNGED] have also been recovered, all consistent with previous test subjects. SCP-1170-2 has avoided all directed questions about any subjects unrelated to love and romantic partnership.

Item #: SCP-1053

Object Class: Euclid/Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the destructive properties of SCP-1053, it is currently isolated in Area 1053. Mobile Task Force Omicron-7 (Bounce Houses) is always on alert, stationed outside of Area 1053 in order to end "FALLINGSKY" scenarios. SCP-1053 itself is encased in a steel box, with a sensitive scale below it in order to act as an early warning system for a FALLINGSKY scenario. Purposeful testing with SCP-1053 has been discontinued, and as such, access is prohibited under normal circumstances.

Description: SCP-1053 appears to be a street map of [REDACTED], centered on the most urban portions of the city. The date on the map (as well as its features) are consistent with the year 19██. Under most circumstances, the map is mundane, excepting the mild regenerative properties it possesses (see below). The map is made out of paper, and samples have shown no anomalous properties. Unfolded, SCP-1053 is 0.25m x 0.4m, and folds to 8cm x 5cm.

Periodically¹, SCP-1053 will cause a Lamed-Gamma level spatial anomaly, known as FALLINGSKY scenarios. Land within a 50m radius of SCP-1053 will begin to change into streets, buildings, sidewalks, and other scenery consistent with the city of [REDACTED] in 19██. Actual landmarks, street names, or neighborhoods from [REDACTED] do not exist; rather, small details (such as streetlamps, the style of buildings, etc.) are pieced together to form this new area (hereafter Ground 1053). Scenery inside of Ground 1053 has been described as "extremely urban" or "a nest of streets," and subjects have detailed the entire place as being a twist of asphalt and dirt streets, narrow roads, and tall glass buildings.

The radius of Ground 1053 expands quite slowly, although external viewing of Ground 1053 is inaccurate due to the fact that Ground 1053 is a spatial anomaly. Measurements can be taken for its external area and still be accurate. However, subjects inside of Ground 1053 have reported that it is much bigger than it appears on the outside. Calculations have placed the internal size as approximately ███% of the external size, although it is possible that the internal size is highly fluctuating, which would allow the estimation to have a margin of error as high as 15%.

The weather inside of Ground 1053 is similar to the weather outside of it, although raindrops and snowflakes do multiply as they enter the area, keeping them at normal size. Other natural forces do affect Ground 1053. However, natural phenomena such as lightning, rain, snow, and wind do not appear abnormal.

No organisms have ever been encountered inside of Ground 1053 (excepting MTF Omicron-7). Empty places of residence, such as apartments and condominiums, have been encountered. However, no personal belongings have been discovered inside of these residences; dressers are present but empty, walls are barren from wallpaper or pictures, etc.

After Incident 1053-01, it has been concluded that once sufficient damage is dealt to SCP-1053, Ground 1053 will immediately stop expanding. Within less than 30% of the time it took for Ground 1053 to be created, the entire area will fully disintegrate. During retrieval time, SCP-1053 usually is fully repaired by unknown means. It is not known at this time whether the state of SCP-1053 affects FALLINGSKY scenarios, since those scenarios only occur when SCP-1053 is perfect condition.

MTF Omicron-7- (Bounce Houses) is tasked with entering Ground 1053 during FALLINGSKY scenarios. Rapid response is key in ending FALLINGSKY scenarios, as the longer Ground 1053 has to expand, the area needed to be covered in order to reach SCP-1053 will increase exponentially. In addition, technological capabilities inside of Ground 1053 have been greatly inhibited, for unknown reasons. To date (██/██/20██), the farthest that Ground 1053 has reached externally is ██ kilometers.

Item #: SCP-198-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-198 is kept in a veiled glass display case, dimensions 6cm x 6cm x 14cm. Outside is a rectangular room with an additional six (6) meters of floorspace and one (1) meter of headroom. Access points are located at the south and east exits. Interaction with SCP-198-J, or removal of the veil encasing it, is only to be done under controlled testing conditions. Testing may be applied for through Dr. ██████. All interaction with SCP-198-J must be recorded and documented on Test Log 198-J.

Description: SCP-198-J is a glass cup, approximately seven (7) centimeters in height. It has a maximum volume of thirteen (13) fluid ounces, half of which are filled by a clear, water-like substance labeled SCP-198-J-2. Separation of SCP-198-J-2 from SCP-198-J has been done, but proven to eliminate the anomalous property of SCP-198-J, which is totally boring.

SCP-198-J appears to memetically effect all humans who view it. While this perception is not extremely strong or dangerous, it has proven to reveal highly personal facts about subjects.
Note: Don't look at SCP-198-J drunk. Ever. -Dr. ████████

Note: Looking at that cup didn't make you cheat on me, asshole. -Researcher █████

Note: Yes it did. -Dr. ████████

Test Log 198-J²

Subject: D-89123, a self-proclaimed optimist
Reaction: The glass is half full.

Subject: Agent ████████
Reaction: It's half empty.

Subject: Dr. █████, containment specialist for SCP-184, SCP-███, and SCP-███
Reaction: That glass is twice the size it should be.

Subject: D-19012, on his second day at the Foundation
Reaction: Guys, guys, the glass is bees! Get it?
Note: D-19012 has been terminated, with prejudice. -Dr. Bright

Subject: SCP-166
Reaction: I don't think that's gonna fit… again…

Subject: Dr. Gibson
Reaction: Is that juice? I fucking hate juice.

Subject: Dr. Glass
Reaction: Yes, but what did your mother say about SCP-198-J?

Subject: SCP-661
Reaction: Wait, I asked for a BLT!

Subject: SCP-507
Reaction: Holy shit, fucking get that away from me!
Note: SCP-507 retreated the corner of the containment area, crying and whimpering. It was heard repeating the phrase "so wet" for over eleven minutes.

Subject: Agent Dodridge
Reaction: All it needs is a rag and a screwtop! And kerosene. Anyone got some kerosene?
Note: Agent Dodridge is hereby prohibited from contact with SCP-198-J -Dr. ██████

Subject: Dr. Gears
Reaction: I see small structure of glass, flat-bottomed, conical with a slant of approximately seventy-five degrees. Due to this, appearance also lends itself to a conical shape widened at the top. Why?

Subject: Dr. King
Reaction: What is that, apple juice?

Item #: SCP-1969

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the inherently immobile nature of SCP-1969, it is located at the recovery site (now named Site 1969). The primary containment unit is a hollow steel ball (1 cm in thickness), containing multiple low-powered electric pistons. These pistons are controlled by a computer located 1.2 meters away on the floor of the secondary containment unit, allowing them to fluctuate in a controlled manner in order to keep SCP-1969 perpetually in the Lambda state. The steel ball has a diameter of 56 cm and is attached to the roof of the secondary containment unit.

Outside the primary containment unit is a concrete room known as the secondary containment unit. Dimensions are 15m x 15m x 3.5m. 50 small transmitters are attached to the walls, relaying a constant message to either one of four offsite receivers or two of eight onsite receivers. In the event that more than two of these transmitters stop working, MTF Alpha-9 ("Party Poopers") will secure the tertiary containment unit and administer amnesiacs and tranquilizers³ to locals if necessary.

The tertiary containment is largely a mimicry of the transmitter/receiver setup in the secondary containment unit. This unit contains 1500 transmitters and eight receivers scattered over twenty square miles, spanning the entirety of Site-1969. It serves as a secondary method of monitoring the Sayaw Zone when SCP-1969 is in an Alpha state. Along the edge of Site-1969 are 20 outposts for guards (three guards per outpost). One final outpost contains the research and administrative staff of Area 1969, housing thirty-five people at the time of writing (██/██/201█). Ground and aerial transportation is available for each outpost to provide immediate evacuation in the event of SCP-1969 entering a continued Alpha state.

If SCP-1969 remains in an Alpha state for longer than 40 seconds, site personnel are to alert Area Director Nelson or Assistant Director Jackson.

Description: SCP-1969 is a disco ball made by an unknown manufacturer. It is 50.8 cm (20 inches) in diameter, and has a hook attached to the top of the ball in order to hang it from a ceiling. There are ████ separate surfaces on the ball, all small (approximately 5mm x 5mm) in size and mirror-like in appearance. Despite the lack of a power source, electromagnetic waves pulsate from each separate face of SCP-1969. However, the faces on SCP-1969 do not consistently radiate at the same wavelength, and randomly change after anywhere between less than 0.██ seconds and close to two minutes⁴. These waves have ranged through the entire electromagnetic spectrum⁵, although wavelengths in or near the human visible spectrum are more likely to linger than extremely long or short wavelengths, which shift quickly. This lends to the classic image of a disco ball, with multicolored lights shining from a mirrored spinning ball.

Light emanating from SCP-1969 shines through or penetrate materials normally opaque to it⁶. Despite this, all electromagnetic waves seem to reflect normally, but paradoxically seem to penetrate materials as well without lowering in intensity. It has been proposed to use SCP-1969 as an energy source⁷ However, the area in which this effect takes place is limited to an ellipsoidal space centered around SCP-1969, known as the Sayaw Zone. This area spreads out horizontally much more quickly than vertically.

SCP-1969 has three states of existence, hereafter referred to as Alpha, Beta, and Lambda. The Alpha state is highly dangerous. During the Alpha state, the Sayaw Zone expands. Alpha states are triggered and continued by gross physical motion within the Sayaw Zone⁸. However, this movement does not need to be artificially caused, allowing natural causes to propel an Alpha state in SCP-1969. During this time, SCP-1969 rotates clockwise at varying speeds.

The rate of growth of the Sayaw Zone is not constant. Approximately ██ seconds after the cumulative movement inside of the Sayaw Zone reduces to ██%, the Sayaw Zone's sensitivity to kinetic energy readjusts to allow fewer Joules applied to trigger an Alpha state. After a certain point, it becomes possible for such small uncontrollable movements as normal tectonic motion to put SCP-1969 in an Alpha state. Mathematical measurements and speculations relating to Alpha states are located in Document 1969-Alpha-01. Fortunately, the sensitivity of the Sayaw Zone during Alpha states lowers, allowing it to enter a Beta state.

Beta states occur following an Alpha state. As its kinetic sensitivity decreases, the Sayaw Zone slows its growth due to the relative lack of new movement. If the amount of movement within the Sayaw Zone goes down enough, the Zone will begin to shrink, inciting a Beta State. During a this state, SCP-1969 spins counter-clockwise at varying speeds.

If enough Joules were to be exerted inside the Sayaw Zone, it could expand to cover all of Earth (a theoretical event referred to as an Ennui scenario). Dr. ██████ speculates that if the Sayaw Zone were to reach the town of [REDACTED], an Ennui scenario would be inevitable, as no means available to the Foundation could halt its growth. An Ennui scenario would affect all light entering the Earth's atmosphere, eventually kill 99% of all organic lifeforms from radiation poisoning, and cause a multitude of other problems.

The Sayaw Zone shrinks considerably while in a Beta state before returning to an Alpha or a Lambda state. The Lambda state constitutes constant fluctuation between Alpha and Beta states, to the effect that the Sayaw Zone's size never changes significantly.

Addendum: The following note was discovered near SCP-1969 during recovery. Most of the upper right portion was burned off during Incident 1969-A, prior to collection by Foundation assets. Document appears to be a receipt. Part of the Marshall, Carter, and Dark logo is drawn lightly on the background of the note.

Bu[DATA LOST]

Amount of B[DATA LOST]

Location of Auction: The C[DATA LOST]

Note: Due to this item not having been tested by MC&D, starting bid [DATA LOST]

Description of Item: Disco ball, measuring 20 inches in diameter. Actively hunts for parties to service. When partying ends, stops. Does not require a power source. Runs indefinitely.

Item #: SCP-419

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-419 is to be kept within a steel alloy⁹ frame and attached to its accommodating wallspace, while covered in a casing made of a laminated polycarbonate thermoplastic. SCP-419 currently resides in a room inside Site 33, dimensions 3m x 5m x 4m. All of the walls in the containment unit, including the one behind SCP-419, are made of a mesh of plastic, steel, and concrete. On the north-facing wall of the containment room is a viewing bay leading to another room with the same dimensions. Two guards are positioned outside of the containment room near the viewing bay and are authorized to use lethal force. They shift every three (3) hours. SCP-419 must be cleaned daily with ordinary window-cleaning supplies. Any personnel tasked with maintenance must not suffer from acrophobia. Constant monitoring of SCP-419 must take place through the window to the containment room in order to ensure that the view through SCP-419 does not change significantly. In the event that it does, contact Site Director █████. Access to SCP-419 is prohibited except under special circumstances and permission from Site Director.

Description: SCP-419 is a large pane of reinforced glass 1.5m x 3.6m x 7.6cm in dimensions, originally situated on the sixth floor of ████ ██████ until [DATA EXPUNGED], at which point a single pane began to produce the view of a landscape that did not exist. The remaining panels on-site were not affected. The view would appear to originate from a vantage point of an estimated 400m above ground level. This vantage point seems not to correlate to the placement of SCP-419 and is static.

Upon closer examination it has been decided that the landscape SCP-419 shows is not congruent to any known location on Earth. Whilst computer-assisted topographic imaging would make this an easy deduction, nothing that enhances vision or utilizes light recognizes SCP-419 as anything but a mirror, save for the human eye. The view of the landscape appears to always be at night, regardless of the time it is viewed. This theory has been devised on the pretext that the area viewed through SCP-419 appears to be outside but is perpetually dark. No super-terrestrial forms are visible.

The view shown by SCP-419 is of a partial cityscape; range estimates of its expansion vary with the weather conditions and ambient light produced by the city itself. A multitude of neon lights and signs have been noted but they are not in any known language. The buildings themselves appear similar to those of the Victorian architectural period, but with unusual, almost imperceptible changes that make them appear warped or twisted, or occupying spaces they should not. Much, if not all of the area viewed through SCP-419 is non-Euclidean.

Organisms have been viewed walking, albeit in mass due to their relatively small size. Their actual size is currently unknown due to the lack of a scale. They appear to be humanoid and dark red in color; however, due to the lack of available computerized assistance and the obvious flaws in the human eye, no higher level of detail is ascertainable. Due to their seemingly advanced level of technology and culture, it is highly unlikely that these organisms are nude. Due to the variation between colors, it is theorized by Dr. ██████ that their skin color is actually a dark gray.

Additional Description:

Note 12-28-08: In light of recent events, I'd like to remind all personnel what the likelihood of SCP-419 breaking is and what consequences could occur if that were to happen. The pane could simply stop working, or it could stop being a window and start being a door. No, it is not probable. Yes, it is possible. Remember, it's glass. Reinforced glass, but glass nonetheless. The containment procedures have been modified in order to try to eliminate any and all damage to SCP-419 from happening from our end.
- ████ Kulzn

The tracks on Illmatic:

1. The Genesis ([DATA EXPUNGED]?)
2. NY State of Mind (Jerusalem State of Mind?)
3. Life's a Bitch (some clever play on words here)
4. The World is Yours (Ours?)
5. Halftime
6. Memory Lane, Sittin in da Park
7. One Love
8. One Time 4 Your Mind (Actual anomalous part, spits random lines)
9. Represent (Replace with "It Takes a Nation of 6.8 Billion to Hold Us Back)
10. It Ain't Hard to Tell

Jay-Z line
Time to separate the pros from the cons
The platinum from the bronze
That butter soft shit from that leather on the Fonz

Item #: SCP-1678

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1678 is contained in a steel safe, dimensions 20cm x 20cm x 15cm in Site 18. Access is given only with explicit permission from Site Director Richards for testing purposes. No form of food is allowed within 100 meters of the containment area. Armed guards are stationed near the vault in order to keep possibly affected individuals out of the main site area.

Description: SCP-1678 is a set of iron utensils, all depicting human skeletons on the handle and approximately fourteen (14) cm long each. The set includes a fork, spoon, and knife, respectively classified as SCP-1678-1-A, SCP-1678-1-B, and SCP-1678-1-C. Anomalous properties manifest when any of the three are used by a human in an attempt to consume food. Upon this occurrence, subjects will find themselves physically unable to receive their intended source of nourishment. They are at this point classified as instances of SCP-1678-2.

When given normal sustenance using conventional or unconventional methods, instances of SCP-1678 remain unable to be nourished. Ingested substances do not affect subjects' tissues and therefore do not serve a useful purpose. The only way for instances of SCP-1678-2 to survive is to consume human flesh¹¹. Despite not filling caloric or other necessary requirements for sustenance, SCP-1678-2 are able to survive solely on this source of nourishment.

Subjects react to this new diet in highly differing ways. However, despite moral/physical obstacles, most do end up attempting to eat. Instances of SCP-1678-2 that simply refuse to consume human flesh spontaneously disappear approximately four (4) days following primary contact with SCP-1678-1.

Discovery: SCP-1678 was discovered on display in an art exhibition in Prague, put together by members of the underground art group "Chuť pro Lidstvo." All discovered members were terminated after being confirmed as instances of SCP-1678-2. The Foundation was notified after two exhibition staff members began to engage in an overt act of cannibalism during showing hours. No other pieces at the exhibit revealed any anomalous properties¹².

The plaque below SCP-1678 had the following text:

Statement: You are what you eat.

Question: What are you?

Item #: SCP-1392

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

Description: SCP-1392 is a Tapirus terrestris, with a body length of 2.1 meters, a tail length of 9 centimeters, and a weight of 209 kilograms. It is sentient and has an IQ of 114. The subject communicates using its mouth, which seems to be capable of emulating human speech very effectively. It has a tenor voice and speaks faster than average.

SCP-1392 has an obsession with spoken-word poetry and generally spends its free time writing it. So far, over ██,000 individual lines have been recorded from SCP-1392. All lyrics appear to be original Most lyrics appear to be original; however, the amount of which that are not is currently unknown.

SCP-1392 has a human psychology and is highly susceptible to interrogation, although the subject is normally averse to lying. However, it may be incorrect much of the time. SCP-1392 claims to be from South Central, Los Angeles, even though records indicate it has never left Colombia even before its acquisition in 199█.

Addendum 01: Interview 1392-B, dated █/█/199█

**Interviewer: Dr. ██████

Interviewee: SCP-1392

---

Begin Log

Dr. ██████: Good evening, 1392.

SCP-1392: Eyo what's up doc. And call me by my street name, Tapri.

Dr. ██████: Uh, so why don't you tell us where you're from.

SCP-1392: I rep the two one three, man¹³. Been reppin' that shit my whole life.

Dr. ██████: Our records indicate that you have never left Colombia.

SCP-1392: My records indicate that you're a hater. I'm the truth, asshole.

Dr. ██████: Uhuh. And are you aware that you are a tapir?

SCP-1392: Look, faggot, are you aware that you're a dick?

Dr. ██████: Please answer the question, 1392.

SCP-1392: Man, I'm tired of this shit. Can I get a drink? (SCP-1392 attempts to leave the testing area)

Dr. ██████: 1392, please return to your seat.

SCP-1392: Fuck the police!

End Log

Addendum 02: Excerpts from Document 1392-Gamma (Transcribed poetry of SCP-1392, between █/█ and ██/█ of 199█)

A BUNCH OF LINES
My mic check is life or death, breathing a sniper's breath,
I exhale the yellow smoke of Buddha through righteous steps
A BUNCH MORE LINES
It's time to separate the pros from the cons, the platinum from the bronze,
the butter soft shit from the leather on the Fonz
A BUNCH MORE LINES

Addendum 03: Interview 1392-F, dated █/█/199█

**Interviewer: Dr. ██████

Interviewee: SCP-1392

---

Begin Log

Dr. ██████: How are you today, 1392.

SCP-1392: Jesus, man, call me Tapri. It's cuz I'm the fuckin' truth in the streets.

Dr. ██████: So you consider yourself a rapper?

SCP-1392: Fuck yeah, I'm the best in the west. All my freestyles are the shit.

Dr. ██████: 1392, are you aware that you said a line written by rapper "Nas"?

SCP-1392: (becomes agitated) I don't know what you're talking about, man.

Dr. ██████: Thank you.

End Log

Item #: SCP-1722

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1722 is to be kept in an air-conditioned aluminum storage container measuring 2m x 0.5m x 0.5m. One guard is to be stationed outside the unit in order to report any abnormalities. Though SCP-1722 is humanoid, it does not require sustenance of any sort. Interaction with the subject is strictly prohibited under normal circumstances. Highly religious Christian personnel are prohibited from contact with SCP-1722 under all circumstances.

Description: SCP-1722 is a humanoid of undetermined age. It stands approximately 175cm tall at its height and has no consistent weight. SCP-1722 appears to be of Middle-Eastern descent. It has hazel eyes and dark brown hair.

SCP-1722 displays substantial regenerative properties. Though regeneration generally takes a substantial amount of time, the subject can heal itself completely. However, due to the speed at which this process occurs, SCP-1722 generally appears to suffer from ailments in the same way humans do. The subject can be killed by conventional means, although SCP-1722 can still regenerate itself back to life, and then full health. Only tissues directly attached to the largest part of SCP-1722 possess any regenerative properties at all, rendering duplication impossible.

SCP-1722 no longer possesses useful higher brain function. This is theorized to have been caused by spending an extended¹⁴ period in the location that the subject was discovered in. Though there is no persistent brain damage, SCP-1722 is far too mentally ill for any useful information to be ascertained. The subject is unable to speak, perform complicated activities, and has acute photophobia.

SCP-1722 was discovered in a small cave under the West Bank after an explosion during the Six Day War opened it up. The Israeli army claimed to find a corpse there, but claimed it had changed its position significantly within the cave before evacuation could occur. The Foundation quickly apprehended the "corpse" and administered Class A amnesiacs to notified Israeli personnel.