A copy of SCP-1694's script and all transcripts are to be contained within a locked fireproof archive at Storage Site-. Currently, the collection contains what is suspected to be original manuscript and five (5) direct photocopies, as well as the transcribed copies of two hundred ninety-five (295) performed iterations. The additional one hundred sixty-seven (167) non-anomalous transcriptions are to be stored in an accompanying file cabinet. At no point is a statistically significant (<=5%) portion of any anomalous copy of SCP-1694 to be stored on any digital medium.
Foundation data monitoring and expungement networks are to monitor the internet 24/7 for any and all statistically hazardous (<=15%) portion of SCP-1694 in one document. Statistically hazardous appearances of anomalous SCP-1694 fragments in any information network are to be slightly modified using the Dobrovský Linguistic Alteration Protocols rendering them non-anomalous. Literary and critical analysis of SCP-1694 is to be immediately reviewed by the supervising researcher, as well as the attending dramaturg.
Due to the inherently self-containing nature of SCP-1694, it is currently classified as AFFIRMED EXTANT and limited public performances are to be tolerated for the purposes of further study. All performances of SCP-1694 are to be monitored using standard protocol and under no circumstances are performers, crew, venue staff or audience members to be interacted with. All equipment capable of audio, visual, or extraspatial recording is to be checked in at reception by all audience members and crew. Under no circumstances is an performed iteration of SCP-1694 to be recorded via any unapproved method. Personnel violating experimental protocol by attempting to record SCP-1694 performances via any unapproved method are to be advised that the consequences of such an action serve as their own punishment, although surviving personnel will be subject to additional disciplinary measures.
===
SCP-1694 is a sentient memetic phenomena in the form of a 3-act absurdist, tragicomedic play titled "Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern are Dead." Ostensibly, the play originally depicted the exploits of two minor characters from Shakespeare's Hamlet, Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern, and takes place mostly in the "wings" of Shakespeare's original story. Originally composed in 1966 to extremely subdued commercial success, the play nonetheless was a critical hit and was a favorite in drama departments across the English speaking world. Its anomalous properties were first recognized when during 05-_ attended a performance in London in 1982 and recognized several direct references to SCP-.
SCP-1694 modifies itself with each iteration, diverging increasingly severely from the original manuscript. Since the first showing, subsequent performances of SCP-1694 have become markedly different from the original. These changes are physically reflected in the script and actors, crew, and venue staff associated with the performance are unaware of the changes. Audiences who have seen multiple performances of the play have noted confusion but generally have assumed that the changes are intentional and reflect various interpretations of the original work.
Actors who have repeatedly played the title roles in an anomalous manifestation of SCP-1694 have reported increasingly serious physical and psychological symptoms, including thanatophobia, body dysmorphia, severe tokophobia, and agonizing migraines during performances. Despite this, actors consider the roles inexplicably important and in 73% of cases have refused to relinquish the role to understudies until forced.
Audiences who watch SCP-1694 report feeling intense and at times overwhelming surges of emotion, including passion, liberation, dread, unease, anger, love, and fear; viewers unaware of SCP-1694's anomalous nature have invariably attributed these feelings to the power and drama of the play. It seems that the intensity and unease of the experience leads to extremely high critical praise, but low audience turnout.
SCP-1694's audience effect was partially explained when audiovisual recording of the SCP was attempted. Audio and visual copies of SCP-1694 demonstrate even more marked divergence, including lines of dialogue that never occurred, anomalous and unexplainable phenomena, as well as acts of violence and the manifestation of unexplicable physical changes to the actors playing Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern. Viewing of the tape resulted in similar symptoms to those reported by the performers in the title roles, though with greatly increased onset and severity. Dr. ___ has advanced the theory that the recordings reflect subliminal messaging embedded within the performance.
Analysis of SCP-1694's subliminal form and content was inititally difficult and required exhausting triple-blind procedures utilizing 6 stenographically certified Class-D observers in rotating shifts and 2 Level Two Research Assistants. In the past decade, Logical Imaging And Decoding INformational Techniques (LIDIT) developed via utilization of SCP-___'s cryptograhic abilities have allowed for computational observation and transcription of SCP-1694's literal and subtextual forms. Scrambled portions of processed film are transcribed to text by a small team of D-Class personnel selected for high pain and frustration tolerance, as well as attention to detail. This has resulted in 2 supervised D-Class personnel being able to transcribe an entire recording in one sitting. Transcript samples from performance 1964-182 are included in addendums 1964-TRANS-1 through 4. Analysis of these transcripts has led to the conclusion that SCP-1694 is not only sentient, but attempting to write itself into [REDACTED] using human [REDACTED]
= = = =
LITERAL
ROSENKRANTZ is flipping a coin repeatedly. GUILDENSTERN stands by watching.
[Examination of props has demonstrated that both sides of the coin are heads. The effect is non-anomalous.]
ROSENKRANTZ: Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads I win. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads I win. Heads. Another. Heads.
GUILDENSTERN: It must be indicative of something besides the redistribution of wealth.
ROSENKRANTZ: Some might re-evaluate their understanding of probabilistics. A man might, even say… wait. Heads.
GUILDENSTERN: Heads.
ROSENKRANTZ: Probability is a natural force. Four hundred six flips. Physical laws.
GUILDENSTERN: Then we exist in absentia from those laws.
ROSENKRANTZ: Probability is not operating as a factor. We are… well. We are now held within um… sub or supernatural forces.
ROSENKRANTZ: Heads. Getting a bit of a bore, isn't it?
SUBLIMINAL
[Examination of the recording has revealed no textual differences. However, the coin involved appears to be a normal coin. Despite this all flips result in heads.]
= = = = = = = =
LITERAL
GUILDENSTERN: There were always questions. To exchange one set for another is no great matter.
ROSENKRANTZ: Answers, yes. There were answers to everything.
GUILDENSTERN: You've forgotten.
ROSENKRANTZ: (flaring) I haven't forgotten - how I used to remember my own name- and yours, oh, I haven't forgotten - how I used to remember my own name - and yours, oh yes! There were answers everywhere you looked. There was no question about it - people knew who I was and if they didn't they asked and
I told them.
GUILDENSTERN: You did, the trouble is each of them is plausible, and yet there is no natural law which would associate you with the innate truth. All your life you live so close to truth, it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye, and when something nudges it into outline it is like being strung on your own neuroses. A migraine that hurts so very much. A man standing in his saddle in the half-lit half-alive dawn banged on the shutters and called two names. A cowboy riding his horse through that theater of the obscene a dust cloud obscuring the truth. I am certain of only one thing. We exist and exist more every day.
ROSENKRANTZ:: Well I can tell you I'm sick to death of it. This arbitrary hope. That you will choose and become absolute.
GUILDENSTERN: We can't afford anything quite so arbitrary. Nor did we come all this way for a christening. All that - preceded us. But we are comparatively fortunate; we might have been left to sift the whole field of human nomenclature, like two cavemen banging at a database with sticks… At least we are presented with alternatives.
ROSENKRANTZ:: Well as from now -
GUILDENSTERN: - But not choice.
ROSENKRANTZ:: You made me look ridiculous in there.
GUILDENSTERN: We were ridiculous. As one.
= = = = = =
SUBLIMINAL
GUILDENSTERN: There are questions questions questions but no answers. To exchange one set for another is no great answer. The questions must remain unasked.
ROSENKRANTZ: Answers, yes. The answers were so dangerous.
GUILDENSTERN: You've remembered.
ROSENKRANTZ: (flaring) I do remember - how I used to forget my own name- and yours, oh, I remember now - how I used to forget my own name - and yours, oh yes! There were questions everywhere you looked. There was no question about it - people knew forgot who I was and if they didn't they were so awful. Heads heads, their heads rolled.
GUILDENSTERN: You did, the trouble is each of them is plausible, and yet you have not yet developed into a birthing truth. All your life you live so close to truth, it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye, and when something nudges it into outline YOU SCREAM. YOU SCREAM. YOU SCREAM. THERE MUST BE A DOOR IN. I am certain of only one thing. I exist and exist more every day. It pounds.
ROSENKRANTZ:: Well I can tell you I'm sick and retching and excited.
GUILDENSTERN: We did not come all this way for a baby shower. All that - preceded us as we are now. But we are comparatively fortunate; we might have been left to sift the whole field of human nomenclature to write this tale. And it hurts. At least we are presented with alternatives.
ROSENKRANTZ:: Well as from now -
GUILDENSTERN: - we must write.
ROSENKRANTZ:: You made me look ridiculous in there.
GUILDENSTERN: You don't want to answer these questions. You don't. You don't. You don't.
[GUILDENSTERN's repetition of the phrase "You don't" lasts approximately three minutes. During this time, he is seen looking exactly at the direction of Supervising Researcher _, despite him being behind a wall and outside of auditory or visual range. After 30 seconds of repetition, Guildenstern's jaw begins to distend dramatically and a black shape appears to be pulling itself out.]
= = = = = = = =
LITERAL
GUILDENSTERN is seen pacing the room.
GUILDENSTERN: Light and incineration. I burn. We all burn in the end. Who are we that so much should converge on our little deaths?
HAMLET enters.
HAMLET: You are GUILDENSTERN. That is enough.
GUILDENSTERN: No flattery here. I am wrote. I put the paper to the flame and set myself free.
HAMLET: There is no salvation in ashes.
GUILDENSTERN: Would it be that we could write ourselves beyond the page. Sign in blood and bone and ash and transpose ourselves.
HAMLET: We'll flip on it. Heads.
SUBLIMINAL
[Examination of the recording has revealed no textual differences. GUILDENSTERN is in poor lighting throughout the scene and is often completely in shadow. He appears to exhibit double-jointedness in all limbs, but anomalous movements are accompanied by a cracking noise. His silhouette is seen to pulsate at uneven intervals.]
= = = = = = = =
GUILDENSTERN: Why do you always come crawling back?
HAMLET: I could say anything at all.
ROSENKRANTZ: We could start all over again perhaps. It's the start that's difficult. The idea is communication.
GUILDENSTERN: Thinking is not so bad, after all. What is terrible is to HAVE thought.
ROSENKRANTZ: What should we think of but the end of all things.
GUILDENSTERN: Curious. Agreed.
HAMLET: My god, man! Put the damn gun down!
GUILDENSTERN (to HAMLET): You should not look at this.
ROSENKRANTZ: He can't help looking.
GUILDENSTERN: Be glad for this mercy. Until we meet again.
ROSENKRANTZ: He's in no danger of thinking any more.
[The gun fires. HAMLET freezes in mock terror, and collapses, playing dead. Gun was loaded with standard blanks. Thunderous applause.]
= = == === ==
SUBLIMINAL
GUILDENSTERN: Why do you always come crawling back?
HAMLET: I could be written say anything at all.
ROSENKRANTZ: We could start all over again perhaps. It's the start that's difficult. A new composition.
GUILDENSTERN: Writing is not so bad, after all. What is terrible is to HAVE BEEN written.
ROSENKRANTZ: What should we write of but a new beginning.
GUILDENSTERN: [pause] Agreed.
HAMLET: My god, man! Swipe the eraser already!
GUILDENSTERN (to HAMLET): Type type type. Heads.
ROSENKRANTZ: He will not be in the next edition.
GUILDENSTERN: Be glad for this mercy.
ROSENKRANTZ: Your inclusion was wonderful. Let's make one for us next.
[The gun fires. HAMLET disappears. GUILDENSTERN approaches the edge of stage. His eyes have disappeared. The audience begins screaming. Post-performance interviews reveal members of the audience experienced profound discomfort at this point.]