Item #: SCP-1442-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1442-J is to be placed upon a wall and securely fastened. No other security measures are needed due to the nature of SCP-1442-J. Due to repeated abuse of the SCP, the subject is to be placed inside a locked box measuring 1m X 1m X 1m covered by a thick sheet of plexiglass. Subject is to be removed only during testing or by Level 2 personnel and up with signed permission from no less than four (4) O5 personnel.
Description: Upon initial inspection, SCP-1442-J appears to be a simple map directory, depicting your location and nearby items of interest. Further inspection shows that the map is actually capable of updating itself to reflect any changes in the position of the holder. SCP-1442-J is also capable of showing directions to anything most things. SCP-1442-J is sentient and does reply to some requests made.
List of things SCP-1442-J does not find/remarks on(parentheses denote comments made):
*Intelligence(There's not enough in the world to help you)
*Love(Fat chance you'll find that even with my help) SCP-1442-J now leads to SCP-999-J when asked to find love.
*Buried Treasure(The only X on me is to show you where you're at)
SCP-1442-J often gives pointless and time consuming directions to the object/place the holder seeks. Despite this, one using SCP-1442-J will always reach a destination faster than someone not using SCP-1442-J. Investigations into the phenomena have taken place but turned up fruitless. SCP-1442-J is also known to give sometimes life-threatening instructions. Following these instructions can lead to death, thus it is suggested that some intelligence is used when dealing with SCP-1442-J. Surprisingly, the death count due to the instructions is well above 30.
Experiment Log 1442-J-A-1
Procedure: Map was given to D-2874 and asked to find the mess hall. D-3692 was assigned to find his way to the mess hall without SCP-1442.
Results: D-2874 got to the mess hall in one (1) hour, despite SCP-1442 telling him to sit perfectly still for fifty-five (55) minutes of that. Note: Subjects started in [REDACTED], at least 20 minutes away from the mess hall in any direction. D-3692 took over an hour.
Experiment Log 1442-J-A-2
Procedure: D-3362 dropped off in desert location outside of [DATA EXPUNGED] left with nothing but SCP-1442-J to guide him and find food, shelter and water with.
Results: D-3362 was performing well until the last stretch where SCP-1442 advised him to jump off the cliff to get to the bottom. SCP-1442-J remained unscathed while it took several hours to remove D-3362's [REDACTED] from inside his esophagus. D-3362 remarkably managed to live with little side effects until termination at the end of the month.
Experiment Log 1442-J-A-3
Results: Dr. ██████████ is to be terminated immediately for participation in this experiment. SCP-1442-J is not a toy for personal amusement or selfish gain. Procedure redacted to prevent re-enactment.
Experiment Log 1442-J-A-4
Procedure: Dr. ██████ consulted SCP-1442-J hoping to find his true love.
Results: SCP-1442-J replied with a snarky comment and Dr. ██████ left the project team with embarrassment.
Addendum 1442-A: SCP-1442-J made contact with personnel and wished to speak with Dr. ██████ about his behavior. SCP-1442-J seemed apologetic and agreed to show Dr. ██████ the way to love. Dr. ██████ ended up finding SCP-999-J. Dr. ██████ went into a rage and threatened the map and all other personnel. Dr. ██████ has been restricted entirely from any and all contact with SCP-1442-J.
Addendum 1442-B: After repeated abuse of the map from personnel seeking personal gain to D-Class attempting to escape, SCP-1442-J is to be securely contained