Item #: SCP-1567-J
Object Class: Euclid Wait, no. Keter. Maybe it's safe. I'm gonna have to say Keter because it killed like five people yesterday.
Special Containment Procedures: Keep it at some site like 19 or some other two digit number. Make sure it's in a big metal room because this thing is huge and can easily do something to escape and do bad things to everyone here. Only people in charge of like, level 5 or something can go in to do things to the SCP thing. If it flips out or something just leave it alone it's just having a little tantrum.
Description: SCP-1567-J is a big monster with monster things that does monster stuff. It will kill everyone with its monster claws or tentacles or whatever the ████ they are. He will eat you or just kill for fun or whatever monsters do to people. It has no weakness I think. That or we haven't found one yet because we've only had it for like two minutes and they just told me to write this information for the files and stuff like that. We got the big thing by asking it politely to go inside, but obviously it didn't so we just punched it in the legs until it did so yeah. It's like a bunch of feet tall and it's really fat so we don't feed it.
It was found somewhere like in the ground or jungle or maybe we made it I don't know. His species seems to be like some kind of whale or dinosaur or maybe it's not even real and they're just pulling a prank on me. They're so mean. They don't even treat the D Classes the way they treat me.
Okay. Well, back to the monster stuff. He is like blue or green or something and he has scales or fur I don't ████ing know. It mostly eats people. We tried feeding it chicken and a Mc██████s Happy Meal. It doesn't like fast food we didn't feed it anything else so we we're just like "Ah, screw it." because it's so stubborn. It's really good at math and stuff, but it's stupid if you ask it a simple question like what is the meaning of life. What an idiot!
It keeps asking for a bicycle why does it want one so badly it will just crush it with its fat ███. We don't know if it's male or female, but I think it's male because I swear I can hear it [DATA EXPUNGED] a lot. We don't know how old it is, either. The scientist guys are guessing it's like a thousand years old.