Item #: SCP-XXXX-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Is to be kept in a comfortable office cubicle, and brought anything it requests, no matter how obscure or dangerous. DO NOT TAKE HIS FEDORA AWAY. Doing so can cause [DATA EXPUNGED]. He has the ability to type, and is a member of our site.
Description: Is a sentient printer manufactured in 200X. He likes his coffee decafe. He wears a fedora.
Addendum: Don't try to make him print things. He gets really mad and yells at us. :(
Site Director Sentient Printer
Notes: Never again shall we let the SCP write the article. That was horrible.