No longer being able to contain himself he succumbed to his strange desires.
He was one of the few people that even liked that brown stuff, but still he would not let that get in his way, slowly taking out his beloved apparatus with all its well defined features and smooth curves, he felt proud at the ownership of such a magnificent piece that men all of the world desired.
The time had finally comes, he finally found a hole big enough to stick it in. Nice and easy, not too fast not to slow. The timing had to be just right.
As he felt around with his tool he could feel all the mushiness inside, rubbing against his thing he could not help himself from getting excited at the thought of the brown stuff. After some time of careful prodding and thrusting it around he finally pulled out.
It was so glorious, it was completely covered in the brown gunk, gushing and spilling and dripping all over he could hardly contain himself. With some effort he managed to stick the whole thing in his mouth and suck so vigorously as to not leave a single bit left, after it all was said and done he finally lay down exhausted from his efforts but with a deep euphoric feeling like he had never felt before.
Man he really loved vegemite.