I recently posted this on the main page but have a feeling its going to be deleted due to negative feedback. I thought I had made a good first attempt and I don't want the fruits of my labor to go to waste, so I'm looking for some advise on how to improve it and send it back. Also, people have pointed out places where I have fallen short of guidelines, despite reading them, so anything in that area would be better filtered out here.
Item #: SCP-651
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-651 is to be stored in a room 10m on each side, secured in an electronically operated, carbon steel clamp with surface measurements no less than 2.1m x 1m, the dimensions of the surface of SCP-651. The room is to be kept locked and should not be accessed by any personnel of less than level 4 clearance. Camera surveillance of the room should be monitored two times a day by no less than two level 2 personnel at once, this should be performed only when monitoring shows the clamp to be in working order. If the clamp fails and cannot be repaired externally, trained personnel should attempt to repair the clamp with all lighting to the room eliminated.
Description: SCP-651 is an obsidian coffin, inscribed with runes and pictographs of unknown origin, similar but not identical to those used in ancient Egypt. Hieroglyph and rune experts have claimed that the pictographs tell a story about [DATA EXPUNGED] proving that fate can only be changed until foretold.
When an observer looks upon SCP-651, the lid swings slowly open, as if it were on a hinge, although none can be observed. SCP-651 will contain a corpse identical to the observer (hereafter SCP-651-A), usually showing horrific injuries which leave no ambiguity in the cause of death. In 100% of recorded cases the observer will die in no more than thirty seven days but in some cases within less than one hour. The observers death is invariably caused from injuries identical to that of their SCP-651-A. SCP-651-A are immune to manipulation or removal of any bodily matter except for α-keratin cells, IE hair and nails. Genetic testing of the hair from numerous SCP-651-A have proven to be 100% genetically identical to the original observer. Any removed hair or nails disappear once the coffin closes, observation shows no space-time anomalies to account for this vanishing.
SCP-651 remains open from initial observation, until the death of the observer. To date, attempts to close SCP-651 once it has begun to open have been unsuccessful. SCP-651 can, however, be weighted to prevent it from beginning to open. The vice which currently secures SCP-651 measures an upward force of 100 KG per square meter when SCP-651 is under observation.
SCP-651 was found in the Mexican village of █████ where the locals revered it as a god, locking people in the temple in which it was stored, as a way of sacrifice. It was brought to the attention of the foundation when a teenage backpacker (█████ █████ ) managed to overpower the guard of the temple and report his experience to the local police station. Upon leaving the police station Mr █████ was hit by an outbound police car and died of massive head trauma.
Addendum: Experiment 651-B : Attempt to secure observer from injury
D-651-4 was introduced to the room containing SCP-651. The coffin opened to show an SCP-651-A identical to SCP-651 with no visible injuries. D-651-4 was taken to a secure room containing padded walls, one padded chair and no other furnishings. D-651-4 was taken food and water and once alone in the room proceded to inhale the water through the nose. Level 2 staff rushed to the room, to attempt to resuscitate D-651-4 but on trying to unlock the room to take food to D-651-4, it was found that the lock was jammed shut. All attempts to unlock the room were unsuccessful, including an attempt with SCP-005. After 7 minutes the room became able to unlock, D-651-4 was found dead due to drowning.
Experiment 651-C : Observation by camera
D-651-5 was instructed to view SCP-651 from an observation room. A live feed was shown to him on a LCD screen. D-651-5 reported that as soon as the feed began to play, SCP-651 swung open to show a corpse identical to D-651-5. The corpse showed lacerations to the wrists with no other observable injuries. D-651-5 was visibly disturbed by what he had seen and so was given a class 2 amnesiac. Although the suspect had no memory of his observation, he later used a metal desk to cut open his wrists and died whilst under treatment from level 0 medics.
Experiment 651-D : Observation by delayed feed
D-651-6 was instructed to view SCP-651 from an observation room. A feed delayed by 60 seconds was shown to her on an LCD screen. After 60 minutes D-651-6 reported no change to the closed SCP-651. This finding is strange but consistent with previous experiments which showed no effects from viewing photographs of SCP-651.
Experiment 651-H : Simultaneous observation by two personnel
D-651-10 and D-651-11 were both instructed to watch an LCD screen which started with no feed. When the feed of SCP-651 was played to the D personnel, 33 seconds went by with no reaction from SCP-651. After 33 seconds the SCP-651 opened to show D-651-10 inside with severe bruising. Footage of the D personnel suggests that SCP-651 became active only when D-651-11 blinked. We believe this means that the SCP-651 can only become active when one sole observer looks upon it. D-651-11 attacked and killed D-651-10 before they could be removed from the observation room.