DEPARTMENTAL NOTICE

Information contained within or relating to this article may have become lost, altered, or otherwise unknowable. Any personnel finding themselves unable to think about concepts related or in proximity to the object outlined in this article should consult Employee Termination Guidelines ETG.145.9.8: Influenced by Meme/Antimeme.

Signed-
██. ████████

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Due to its nature, SCP-XXXX is contained in situ. This requires a minimum of civilian repulsion procedures, given the low population density of the surrounding area.

Personnel are not to enter SCP-XXXX for any reason.

Update 05/06/2013: Due to ongoing departmental restructuring, there is currently no HMCL assigned to SCP-XXXX. All requests and queries should be directed to the Site Director until a new HMCL has been assigned.

Description: SCP-XXXX-1, -2, -3, -4, -8 and -9 refer to a wooden picket fence 10m x 15 m x 2m, a chicken coop, and two wooden chairs located in an open field on the Limerick–Ballybrophy railway line in County Laois, Ireland. The chairs have been affixed to the fencing by way of ordinary steel chains and padlocks.

SCP-XXXX was discovered in 2012 after a trainspotter reported a train derailment. Investigation revealed that a derailment had not, in fact, occurred, but that, after a certain point on the train, the cars had ceased to be attached to those in front of them. The reason for this could not be ascertained at the time.

Monitoring of the site demonstrated further accidents without apparent causes occurring on a semi-regular basis. The area was initially contained in toto, and believed to be producing an entropic effect.

This hypothesis was later proven to be incorrect.

Since containment, SCP-XXXX has been considered responsible for loss of equipment, personnel and documentation as well as damage to Foundation property. Off-site incidents are less common than those on-site, but have been occurring less frequently since 04/2013.

DEPARTMENTAL MEMORANDUM

I've got three Euclids due for containment cleaning this week and there is not a single D-Class in sight. What the hell has happened to our budget? Is anyone out there paying attention to our staffing issues?

-Kerry

good fuckin job kerry, did you really have to ping the whole department about this? what, you too good to mop up slug residue by yourself? god's sake, you're such an asshole sometimes

-res. clare

This is almost as bad as when what's-his-name stormed out of the cafeteria in the middle of that big presentation last year. Anyone else remember that? The guy's name is on the tip of my tongue…

-Res. Longford

Yo, free for all in the interdepartmental mail server HYPE lets gooooo! Once you're done getting Kerry his D-Class, how about get me a cheeseburger

Thanks

-JR Monaghan

Monaghan, you turd, how about some goddamned professionalism? You're such a child.

-JR Galway

The budget approval has just been tied up in paperwork, it'll go through. I know the objects you're talking about, and you'll have help before time is up.

With that in mind, in the future, do not use department-wide pings for personnel requests. There are more official channels to go through for that sort of thing that won't bother your fellow researchers. The rest of you, kindly ignore such protocol breaches in the future, thank you.

-██. ████████

Not to stir things back up that shouldn't be stirred, but who wrote that?

-Res. Longford

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: MTF Mu-5 ("Secret Shoppers") is tasked with monitoring the Lynchburg, Virginia and Minneapolis, Minnesota areas for further appearances of SCP-XXXX. All recovered containers are to be held in Safe Storage at Site-22.

Update 09/10/2018: SCP-XXXX-A is to be held in a low-security humanoid containment cell. Subject is considered non-threatening and should be treated cordially to maintain tractability.

Containers of SCP-XXXX-2 are housed in the same storage facility as SCP-XXXX. Usage of SCP-XXXX-2 by employees requires authorization by the Head Researcher.

Update 11/10/2018: SCP-XXXX-A has been transferred to a medium-security humanoid containment cell and is to be kept gagged despite physiological disparities that would suggest vocal restraint being ineffective.

SCP-XXXX-2 has been moved to a separate Safe Storage facility from SCP-XXXX, per Ethics Committee order to maintain the morale of SCP-XXXX-1.

Investigation of GoI-499 ("Soft Hands^^®^^") is ongoing.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a pinkish water-in-oil emulsion, marketed as "Smile Cream™". While none of the ingredients listed upon containers of SCP-XXXX or mixtures thereof are inherently anomalous, when applied to the face, SCP-XXXX induces muscle rictus over the course of the next 3 minutes. This effectively forces a user to smile, typically to a degree that impedes use of the mouth. This effect lasts for a minimum of 1 hour, but has been recorded to extend to anywhere from 3 to 49 hours, with a median duration of 2.4 hours. There is no apparent correlation between length of time of the effect and amount of SCP-XXXX used.

When used on any other external body part, SCP-XXXX produces no unusual effect, and has been described by test subjects as "oily" and "unpleasant". The sole exception to this is use on the hands, where SCP-XXXX functions as an effective moisturizing lotion, protecting the skin from minor damage and cracking.

SCP-XXXX-1 is the designation for the mascot printed on each container of SCP-XXXX, a cartoon of an anthropomorphic flower. When any number of containers of SCP-XXXX are left in a room with a single subject, SCP-XXXX-1 will animate and begin to talk with the subject in a high-pitched voice. Conversations are typically steered towards exhorting the subject to be more happy, as well as advertisement for SCP-XXXX.

Multiple instances of SCP-XXXX-1 in the same room are capable of carrying on separate, simultaneous conversations, often to the detriment of intelligibility. Questioning has determined that individual instances of SCP-XXXX-1 function independently, but are capable of sharing memories with one another. Notably, the speech of SCP-XXXX-1 instances tends to synchronize when they are talking about SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX-1 self-identifies as male and says its name is "Daisy". Individual instances refer to each other as "brothers".

Discovery and Initial Containment: SCP-XXXX was first identified being sold in Food Lion stores in and around Lynchburg, Virginia, USA after an increased number of customer complaints via the company's online and telephone contact lines. Cover Protocol 145-Ekwensu¹ was enacted and MTF Mu-5 dispatched to retrieve all containers of SCP-XXXX and administer amnestics to individuals who purchased it, as well as store employees.

In an interview, a store manager claimed to have no idea where SCP-XXXX came from, as it had not been logged by their receiving department. Despite this discrepancy, barcodes present on the packaging were able to be scanned appropriately via the store's electronic point-of-sale system.

Monitoring of Food Lion stores in the state of Virginia has discovered no further instances of SCP-XXXX appearing on shelves.

Addendum XXXX.01: Sample SCP-XXXX-1 Interview, 11/05/2018

Update 09/10/2018

On 09/10/2018, Foundation agents tracking SCP-████ activity in the Minneapolis metro area alerted Site-22 command about a possible SCP-XXXX containment breach.

A delivery van bearing an image of SCP-XXXX-1 on the side was spotted by numerous civilians driving aimlessly through the city streets. A real-time disinformation campaign was started in earnest to get ahead of social media posting, while MTF Kappa-90 ("Bastard Cops") was deployed to apprehend the vehicle and driver.

The driver, designated SCP-XXXX-A, was unexpectedly cooperative with MTF agents, stating it had been attempting to locate a Foundation Site without success for over a week. Agents guided the entity to a Foundation safehouse, whereupon it and its vehicle were taken into custody.

SCP-XXXX-A is a humanoid, 1.7 meters tall, fair-skinned and with a thin build, wearing a uniform consisting of overalls, boots, t-shirt and ball cap, the latter two bearing an image of SCP-XXXX-1³ The entity's most notable feature is the smooth plane of skin present where its facial features should be. Despite lacking eyes, ears, nose and mouth, the entity is capable of seeing, hearing and speaking. It has stated it "no longer" needs to eat.

SCP-XXXX-A's arms terminate just below the wrist, with smooth, rounded skin covering the ends. Again, despite this deformity, SCP-XXXX-A demonstrates considerably more ease manipulating objects than would be expected from a baseline amputee or individual with congenital limb defects.

The van being driven by SCP-XXXX-A contained 35 cases of a variation of SCP-XXXX, termed SCP-XXXX-2, with a similar ingredient list and near identical chemical properties. Of note, the phrase "New And Improved!" features prominently on the packaging.

SCP-XXXX-2 lacks SCP-XXXX's muscular rigor effect, and instead causes the mouth to form into a slight smile when the face is relaxed. This effect lasts upwards of 8 hours per application. The cream has been described as "fragrant" and "pleasant to use".

Instances of SCP-XXXX-1 printed on these containers have been noted to be significantly less animated and conversant than previous instances, displaying simple, repetitive movements and vocalizations limited to advertisements.

Addendum XXXX.02: SCP-XXXX-A Initial Interview

Addendum XXXX.03: Incident XXXX.04

A second interview was conducted with SCP-XXXX-A on 11/10/2018 under the same circumstances as the previous one. Dr. Sanborn was directed to ask the subject about its place of employment, and gain any information about how to locate or contact either "Happy Faces" or "Soft Hands".

The subject again proved cooperative. However, when providing the group's address, SCP-XXXX-A produced a cognitohazard which immediately incapacitated Dr. Sanborn, Dr. Maimone and JR Barnard. SCP-XXXX-A reacted with distress, confusion and numerous apologies.

Security personnel were not present in the interview room, due to SCP-XXXX-A being assessed as a low threat risk, and so were able to respond quickly to the event. Standard voice suppression techniques were utilized and proved effective despite SCP-XXXX-A's lack of mouth.

Medical personnel were brought in and able to stabilize all three researchers in short order. Drs. Sanborn and Maimone had lost their hands at the wrists, with an appearance similar to that of SCP-XXXX-A's arms. JR Barnard was affected less severely, as he had returned from a restroom break in the middle of the cognitohazard. His hands have been atrophied, with a gangrenous outward appearance.

Attempts to repair damage and restore blood flow to JR Barnard's hands have made scant progress but are still ongoing. Analysis of Drs. Sanborn and Maimone revealed that their DNA had been altered in such a way as to remove genetic markers for development of hands and digits, as well as the muscular and vascular structures required to support appendages at the end of the forearm.

In a followup interview conducted by Dr. Mulvaney, SCP-XXXX-A stated that it was "just trying to help", that it "had no idea" the effects would occur, and that it was "extremely sorry for hurting anyone". At this point, the Foundation's true mission was revealed to the subject, who accepted increased containment strictures as punishment for its actions. Containment procedures were updated.

Addendum XXXX.04: Post-Incident XXXX.04 Interview

Addendum XXXX.05: First Interview with SCP-XXXX-1.2, 12/10/2018

Addendum XXXX.06: Incident XXXX.05, 18/10/2018

I N: S

O C: S

S C P: S i c i a S O s l i S. N f t i r.

D: S i a m b p. D w a t o w r i t o i t f l o e w.⁶

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All entrances to SCP-XXXX are to remain secured outside testing. Currently, testing is approved for Entryway 4. Only D-Class personnel are permitted to enter SCP-XXXX-1, and must be furnished with food, water and a tether. Light surveillance is necessary to prevent unwanted intrusion into SCP-XXXX-1.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an abandoned factory located at 145 Wilson Street, Kentland, Indiana, United States.⁷ SCP-XXXX-1 is an extradimensional space accessible by all 12 entryways of SCP-XXXX. Though it is currently not understood how entryways relate to one another inside SCP-XXXX-1, each opens at a fixed location⁸, and it is believed all exist within the same space. SCP-XXXX-1 is not visible through any of SCP-XXXX's windows or doors before entry is made.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a seemingly infinite painted desert plain. Features including cacti, animal skulls⁹, rocks and tumbleweeds are occasionally present. Thunderstorms, typically severe, have been witnessed in SCP-XXXX-1, and testing has shown that all entryways experience the same atmospheric phenomena concurrently. Night has yet to be witnessed in SCP-XXXX-1, and temperatures remain relatively stable around 36°C, with major variances occurring after a storm has passed. For a list of further phenomena related to SCP-XXXX-1, see Addendum XXXX-A.

Addendum XXXX-A: Notable Excerpts from SCP-XXXX-1 Exploration Logs

Test Number: 1
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 1 (Front door)
Duration: 12 minutes
Notes: Baseline test to determine properties of SCP-XXXX-1. Test subject notes entryway is not visible from within SCP-XXXX-1, save for the tether emerging from it. Two Carnegeia gigantea, approximately 10 m tall, are observed 3 m behind the entrance point. Subject notes hole consistent with bird nest in one cactus, but no birds or nesting materials are seen.

Test Number: 4
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 2 (East side personnel access)
Duration: 35 minutes
Notes: Human footprints observed in sand. Subject follows prints back to their source for 20 minutes, ending at a dry creek bed. Prints do not extend across.

Test Number: 5
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 12 (Skylight)
Duration: 3 minutes
Notes: Attempt to determine relationship between entryways. Entrance point is horizontal external to SCP-XXXX and vertical within SCP-XXXX-1, making both ingress and egress difficult. Test aborted after tether becomes lodged in entryway.

Test Number: 7
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 2, 3 (East side garage door)
Duration: 1 hour, 26 minutes
Notes: Attempt to determine relationship between entryways. Subjects entering Entryway 2 and Entryway 3 are unable to make visual or audio contact with one another. Subject who entered Entryway 3 finds a book¹⁰ nearby a water bottle left during Test 5. Test is halted five minutes later and subjects recalled. Pages of book have been torn out seemingly at random; object otherwise displays wear consistent with being in an arid climate for an extended period of time. On the inside of the front cover is written:

To D.
Love allways

On the inside of the back cover is written:

Saint Ade protect us

The rest of the writing is smeared. Object is housed in Non-Anomalous Storage Site 45.

Test Number: 8
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 4 (Eastmost rear window)
Duration: 1 hour, 13 minutes
Notes: First observation of features on the horizon. Subject instructed to travel toward apparent mountain range, but reports inability to make progress. Notes considerable numbers of bovine skulls while retracing steps to entryway, not observed during outset. Instructed to collect sample. Analysis of sample reveals non-anomalous Bison bison cranium, weathered consistent with exposure to arid climate for an extended period of time. Housed in Non-Anomalous Storage Site 45.

Test Number: 10
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 4
Duration: 15 minutes
Notes: See Addendum XXXX-03.

Test Number: 15
Date: ██/██/████
Entryway: 4
Duration: 3 days, 9 hours, 21 minutes
Notes: Attempt to reach mountains in distance. Testing team is provided extra water rations and hot-weather gear. On second day, storm is encountered, hampering progress. Team instructed to make camp. On third day, team reports shift in surroundings, and is instructed to return via tether. Team halts retrieval upon sighting a small cabin.¹¹ Exploration reveals advanced state of decay consistent with abandonment in a desert climate. Items retrieved include three empty tin cans¹², a plastic prescription pill container without label¹³, an empty oil lantern and a leather-bound journal¹⁴. Team recalled fully; human footprints noted along path of tether, not observed during outset. Items are housed in Non-Anomalous Storage Site 45.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-XXXX must be contained in situ, its viewing room has been closed off to civilians under Standard Cover Story 145: Repairs in Progress. Other art pieces previously housed in the same room have been removed and relocated. Pieces damaged in the original growth event have been incinerated and their creators supplied with Standard Cover Story 1153: Damage Due to Water Leak.

Description: SCP-XXXX consists of two parts. SCP-XXXX-1 is a statue of Pegasus on display in the █████ █████ Museum in █████████, Germany. The statue is 2.1 meters high at the shoulder, atop a low dais, with its left foreleg raised and wings furled, and originally made of plaster plated in bronze. In its current state, SCP-XXXX-1 is unremarkable save for its lack of head at the shoulders and the series of 57 holes along its torso.

SCP-XXXX-2 is a tubular network of unknown material, uniformly 2.2 cm in diameter and covered in short, light blue hair. The material is cool to the touch, does not react to external stimuli, and has thus far resisted sample collection. SCP-XXXX-2 passes through each of SCP-XXXX-1's 57 entry points once in a series of straight lines, and is anchored to the floor, ceiling and three walls of SCP-XXXX-1's viewing room via unknown methods.¹⁵ SCP-XXXX-2 regularly expands and contracts along its diameter, at a rate of 0.3 cm every 3-4 seconds.

History: SCP-XXXX-1 was gifted to the museum in 1951, by the son of its creator, P████ H█████████, and showed no anomalous activity until 09/11/2011. Investigation into the H█████████ family has determined no connections with anomalous artist groups or other abnormalities of note.

Security footage recorded 09/11/2011 at 20:06 shows a hole opening in SCP-XXXX-1's left shoulder and a small disc of bronze falling to the floor. A rounded cylinder matching the material description of SCP-XXXX-2 emerges from the hole and progresses at a rate of 0.5 cm/s to the opposing wall, appearing to flatten against it. Four seconds later, SCP-XXXX-2 emerges from the ceiling and penetrates SCP-XXXX-1 again on the dorsal side, leaving a small hole in the statue, but not the ceiling. After five minutes, SCP-XXXX-1's head is sheared from its shoulders by an unknown force, leaving a flat plane from which SCP-XXXX-2 emerges. Growth event continues for the next 17 minutes, SCP-XXXX-2 entering and exiting SCP-XXXX-1 at random angles, before SCP-XXXX-2's leading end reenters SCP-XXXX-1 and ceases movement.

Footage does not record what became of SCP-XXXX-1's head.

Addendum: Exploration Log XXXX-01

On 16/11/2011, an invasive exploration via fiber optic camera was ordered and carried out after closing hours.

A cable is threaded into an entry hole in SCP-XXXX-1's dorsal side. Initial images show a web of SCP-XXXX-2 crisscrossing the hollow interior¹⁶ without intersecting itself. Further exploration into the thoracic cavity reveals a humanoid head, not previously seen on security footage. Head features large eyes and mouth, but no nose.

Upon discovery, the head appears to be sleeping, but wakes and turns toward the camera. Head appears to speak¹⁷ before moving forward and biting off the camera end of the fiber optic.

Further exploration has not been authorized.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is currently kept in an opaque locking briefcase in Safe Item Storage Locker 145 at Site-22. SCP-XXXX must not be kept at Sites containing other text-based anomalies. Testing may only be carried out by D-Class Personnel; no visual recordings of tests are allowed.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a hardback book of unknown description¹⁸. When any portion of SCP-XXXX is viewed by an individual able to read English¹⁹, or held in any individual's possession for more than five seconds, the subject will experience an intense fear reaction to libraries, the idea of libraries, and books other than SCP-XXXX.

Testing as of 08/05/2015 shows that "library" in this context refers to any building that stores books. The reaction is proportionate to how central the storage of books is to the building's purpose, but includes bookstores, department stores, schools, many Foundation sites, and SCP-2602, which used to be a library. (For further reading, consult Crosstest Log XXXX/2602-Formerly-a-Library.)

The induced phobia remains present in the subject until eye contact is broken and the object is removed from their possession, then for a period ranging from 5 to 20 minutes afterward. This "cooldown" period can increase with repeated, prolonged exposure to SCP-XXXX.²⁰ Presence of prior phobias or anxiety disorders does not seem to have an effect on the SCP-XXXX anomaly.

While breaking contact between SCP-XXXX and a subject under its influence is not unduly difficult, subjects have universally been unable to do so of their own accord. To date, a physical description of SCP-XXXX has not been ascertained, as subjects are incapable of reporting on the context or content of the object while under its influence. The effect is also transmitted through video recordings and still images.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: One translation of each version of SCP-XXXX-1 is to be kept on file at Site-17. One copy of SCP-XXXX-1 is to be held in storage at Site-17, open to SCP-XXXX-2 and actively monitored. Any change in SCP-XXXX-2 is to be reported to the Researcher overseeing SCP-XXXX, who will initiate Protocol XXXX-Babel if deemed necessary. All other copies of SCP-XXXX-1 are to be confiscated and destroyed. Active campaigns are being run in all affected areas to suppress knowledge of SCP-XXXX.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a language game²¹ designed to be played by speakers of a number of Slavic, Caucasian and Native American²² languages (refer to Addendum XXXX-1 for full list of target languages). The exact rules differ depending on the target language, but generally consist of adding consonants before, after or into specified consonant clusters, sometimes resulting in phonemes that are difficult to pronounce naturally.

The rules for SCP-XXXX are detailed in SCP-XXXX-1, a children's book whose title translates as "The Summoning Game: Make Friends With the Stars!" The author is given as Delaware Athens.²³ SCP-XXXX-1 consists of three portions, the first being the rules for SCP-XXXX for the given language. The second portion consists of a series of illustrations of a number of known and unknown anomalous creatures, including SCP-███, SCP-████, and what is believed to be a previously unknown form of [REDACTED], along with exhortations for readers to play SCP-XXXX and "summon" the creatures into our world. (See Addendum XXXX-1 for excerpts.)

The final page of SCP-XXXX-1 is inscribed with a half-circle arc, designated SCP-XXXX-2. At one end of the arc is an image of a closed eye, with an open eye at the other end. The first 1.2 radians of the arc, as measured from the closed eye, emit a yellow light.

When certain sound combinations are uttered by a human, the arc's length increases by approximately .001 radians. These sounds can be produced by applying the rules of SCP-XXXX to certain words, often obscure, from SCP-XXXX target languages. While the likelihood of these sounds occurring during normal conversations modified by SCP-XXXX is statistically negligible, no method has been found to reduce the arc's length.²⁴

SCP-XXXX came to the Foundation's attention after a string of child disappearances in Tbilisi, Georgia. An instance of SCP-████ was captured by Mobile Task Force agents sent to investigate, but later vanished from containment. Interrogations of involved parties led to knowledge of SCP-XXXX and the commandeering of 120 copies of SCP-XXXX-1. Despite attempts to follow the instructions printed in SCP-XXXX-1, testing has yet to cause SCP-XXXX or any other entity to materialize.

Addendum XXXX-2: Shortlist of target languages for Protocol XXXX-Babel.

Abkhaz (Confirmed)
Armenian (Confirmed)
Georgian (Confirmed)
Shalish (Suspected Confirmed, see Addendum XXXX-4)
Slovak (Confirmed)
Slovene (Confirmed)
Ubykh (Neutralized, see Addendum XXXX-3)

Addendum XXXX-3:

As of 7/10/1992, Protocol XXXX-Psocoptera (Proposal for Targeted Extinction of the Ubykh Language, Doctor R█████) has been declared a success. Proposals for similar operations are still under consideration.

Amelia Kostarevsky, Ethics Committee

Addendum XXXX-4: Foundation agents embedded in US and Canadian customs were alerted to suspicious book shipments on 04/██/████ and 04/██/████. Investigation revealed copies of SCP-XXXX-1 written for speakers of Sháshíshálh and Nsyilxcen, bound for reservations in British Columbia and Washington state, respectively. Documentation with both shipments designated a port of origin in Akureyri, Iceland. When investigated, the address led only to an empty warehouse. Investigations into the publisher of SCP-XXXX-1, "Ad Nihilo Press", remain underway.

The threat posed by SCP-XXXX cannot be confirmed at this time, owing to certain inconsistencies in the depictions of SCP-███ and SCP-████ in SCP-XXXX-1. Nevertheless, the outcome of SCP-XXXX is being treated as a potential unknown K-class scenario.
-Dr. Emil R█████, Researcher overseeing SCP-XXXX

Item #: SCP-1XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: In light of Incident 1XXX-01, SCP-1XXX must be contained in situ, and the New York City Police Department has been contacted to assist with containment. One Foundation agent is to patrol the immediate vicinity of SCP-1XXX between the hours of 22:00 and 2:00, dressed as a New York City police officer, and discourage individuals from lingering on SCP-1XXX. Any conversation occurring between civilians and SCP-1XXX-1 is to be interrupted immediately and the civilian subject taken into custody. SCP-1XXX-1 is not to be accosted or prevented from fleeing the area.

In the event of a deal between SCP-1XXX-1 and a civilian being completed, the civilian is to be detained and the nature of the deal ascertained. Subjects given non-homicidal tasks are not to be interfered with. Amnestics should be administered after payment is confiscated.

Description: SCP-1XXX is a park bench located next to a bus stop outside Dante Park in New York City, along Broadway. Testing has revealed no anomalous properties inherent in the materials. SCP-1XXX's anomalous effects manifest if it is sat on by an unaccompanied individual between the hours of 23:00 and 1:00.

Subjects report a significant decrease in traffic and ambient sound within two minutes of sitting, and the appearance of fog. A man, designated SCP-1XXX-1, will approach the subject five to ten minutes of the fog's manifestation. SCP-1XXX-1 is generally described as unkempt, wearing a stained trench coat and oversized, unlaced boots. SCP-1XXX-1 will engage the subject in conversation and offer them a large sum of money, starting at $100,000, for performing a task. Tasks are initially described in vague terms ("Clean up a place", "Tie up some loose ends"), but if pressed, SCP-1XXX-1 will provide more detail while steadily increasing the amount of payment. The maximum payment offered to a subject has been recorded as $███████. In no case has a subject ever challenged SCP-1XXX-1 for proof of payment, stating in interviews that the idea never occurred to them.

Once a deal has been reached, the subject will receive an envelope detailing the precise nature of the task and a timeframe for its completion. Tasks largely involve killing a specified person in a particular way, often gruesome or involving mutilation of the corpse in a particular manner after death. Other tasks involve cleanup of sites filled with extreme levels of refuse and human leavings, retrieval of items from heavily secured locales, and [DATA EXPUNGED].

Any subject who is able to complete the task as specified will receive an envelope in the mail the following morning, containing payment of the agreed amount. Attempts to trace bills have been unsuccessful, and the envelopes do not feature a return address. Interviews with previous subjects have revealed that payment will occasionally come in the form of a business card for an appraiser and an item which will be appraised for exactly the agreed upon amount plus the appraiser's fees. Interviews with the appraisers have yet to yield results as to the identity of SCP-1XXX-1 or the individuals associated with SCP-1XXX.

In the event of a task being completed unsatisfactorily despite a subject's best effort (not within the timeframe, without the precise details of the task), the subject will receive an envelope with a typed card reading "Sorry, no dice". Subjects making no attempt to complete a task, or who have third parties act for them, will be visited at home by a quartet of entities, designated SCP-1XXX-2, that appear as large men in black suits and dark sunglasses. Encounters with SCP-1XXX-2 include demands for subject to continue their tasks and often physical aggression. Refusal results in the death of the subject via unknown means (surveillance equipment has routinely failed to capture the death of subjects) before SCP-1XXX-2 enters a large vehicle and vanishes. Attempts to track SCP-1XXX-2 have been unsuccessful.

If at any point a third party approaches SCP-1XXX during the process of making the deal, SCP-1XXX-1 will announce the deal being off and leave the site. Attempts to follow SCP-1XXX-1 to its origin have been unsuccessful. SCP-1XXX-1 has a keen knowledge of nearby surroundings and has eluded Foundation efforts to track it from the air as well as from the ground. It has demonstrated preternatural abilities (running, jumping, vanishing after being obscured by overhangs) and has refused all attempts at communication. It has also used numerous routes of escape, further preventing the Foundation from ascertaining its whereabouts.

He noticed the first one while crossing Oak Street. As a residential road off a minor throughway, the sight of a cement truck coming down it from the state route was rather unusual. But as it turned out, a new sidewalk was being poured just down the block, so it was hardly unexplainable.

The second truck barrelled down Washington Street toward him just a block past Oak. It was going rather fast for a school zone, which was what caught his eye. But then, it was just now summer and school was out, not to mention it was headed for that new construction. Again, nothing unusual, though he thought the driver looked odd, not that he could see much at that distance or speed.

It was a fine morning to be walking anywhere, after all, and there was little reason to pay such things heed. The sun had risen enough to warm the early morning air, and there was nary a cloud in the sky. Birds gathered in a treetop and a groundhog poked its out from a culvert, zipping back inside when it spotted him.

The third cement mixer passed in the direction he was going down Creek Road, toward the industrial sector.

This time, he had the distinct feeling he was being watched, though again it was hard to really notice what the driver was doing, thanks to the glare of the sun. The vehicle had definitely slowed as it passed by him, however. It gave him the willies, just a little bit. Still, he was within a few blocks of the factory he worked at, so he wouldn't have to give much more consideration to the herd of cement trucks in his town.

Why would a small college town need so much cement in the middle of summer, though? It was the best time for road projects, yes, but he'd only seen the one back on Oak Street so far. Maybe it was just a strange coincidence. Maybe the third one had gotten lost on its way to Cambridge or Springfield or something, and was thinking about stopping for directions but changed its mind.

He picked his way through the grass at the roadside, the streets past Creek Road lacking sidewalks, and trudged through the gravel on the short bridge over Vernon Creek. Checking both ways, he crossed Creek Road and turned up Spencer Avenue, a light spring in his step as he climbed the gradual rise from the intersection. At the top of the hill was a dip, and another hill past that. And in the dip sat a cement mixer.

He stopped, a hand reaching behind him as though reflexively searching for a wall to cling to, his heart pounding in his chest. The mixer's load was not being delivered; instead it sat, churning and churning, the engine growling idly. There were no sidewalks here either, and no place where it seemed that cement might be needed. That sensation of being watched again crept up on him, making his hair stand endwise. He choked it down with a deep breath. Feeling rather foolish, he grinned, waved to the silhouetted driver, and began crossing the street so that he could skirt around the truck.

It moved, turning towards him and edging forward. Feeling his heart rate increase again, he hastened for the shoulder. The truck pressed forth, accelerated, nosed into the oncoming lane and placed itself between him and the embankment. He reeled for a moment before catching his balance, and found his voice.

"Hey, buddy, I dunno what you're up to, but I'm tryin' to get to work here! Would you…" He squinted, but the windows were just reflective enough that he couldn't make out the driver's features. "You mind moving?" he asked, far more calmly.

The truck responded by edging forward once again.

He suddenly felt like a mouse before a hungry cat. He took two spooked steps backward. The cement mixer matched him move for move, staying just a few paces away. Turning his head, he caught a glint out of the corner of his eye. The sun was reflecting off the windshield of another cement truck.

Something screamed in his head and he took off running southbound down Creek Road. From behind him came the sounds of engines, roaring to life and belching black smoke into the air. The two cement trucks pursued him at an ever-increasing speed, occupying both lanes of the road.

A little voice reminded him that he needn't follow the asphalt and he heeled right, dashing up the hill into the side lawn of a car refinishing plant. There was another mixer in the driveway. It paced him, herding him through the parking lot as he ran past the building.

Around the other side of the plant was another road, a spur called Experience Way that contained but a few companies. A fifth cement mixer waited at the top of the little road, surging towards him as he came into view. Panicking, he took off down the spur, which changed from blacktop to hard grey cement a few feet off of Spencer.

The spur terminated in a circle large enough to turn a semi around in, at the center of which sat one more cement truck. It chugged to life as he entered the circle and crept forward. From around him, the other trucks did likewise, surrounding him. Then one blew its horn; the others answered and he fell to his knees, hands over his ears.

"What the fuck is going on?" he cried against the cacophony. "What do you want?"

An engine revved angrily and he looked up. In the shade cast by the large drum, he could finally make out the face of the driver.

Only it had no face.

A blank ovoid of flesh stared impassively at him from beneath a blue baseball cap. The figure wore a matching blue uniform jacket, but its arms hung limply at its sides, no hands upon the steering wheel. Despite the lack of eyes, it seemed to be looking at him.

He screamed.

The truck that had hemmed him down Experience Way pressed forward and he was forced to crab walk backwards into the circle. His hand slipped from the pavement, a nasty gash opening along his wrist as it slid along a hard edge. Looking over his shoulder, he saw a deep pit carved into the cement roadway. The truck revved again, approaching closer, forcing him into the hole lest he be crushed beneath them. One by one, the cement mixers began to turn.

"This isn't funny!" he shouted, straining to be heard over the din of six diesel engines moving in time. "Your company will be hearing…"

The threat died on his lips as he searched the backs of the trucks for logos, words, any sign of ownership. There was nothing, not even a "How good is my driving?" placard.

The chutes descended.

He struggled to his feet, nursing his wounded arm, and stared dumbfounded as thick liquid cement poured out of the spinning barrels and into the depression in which he stood. It pooled around the bottoms of his jeans, covering his feet. The surface rose in burps and dribbles as pound after pound of the stuff fell.

"Help!" he shouted. "Somebody help me! I'm down here!"

In a moment of clarity, he reached for his cell phone, but it was in the same pocket as his cut wrist, and the blood caused the smooth black plastic piece to slip from his hand. It hit the top of the cement, now up to his knees, with a soft plop and began to sink.

The clarity died. Blindly, he lurched forward and thrust a hand into the cement. It burned his skin, seeping into his bleeding vein. He cried in a mix of pain, fright and primal anguish and began slapping at the waist-high cement, his one hope of rescue forgotten in his animal panic.

Filling the pit was the work of but a few minutes, and the last inches were enough to at last silence the screams. Their work finished, the chutes retracted. Six cement mixers drove down Experience Way, parting ways at Spencer Avenue and Creek Road and Washington Street, and left behind nothing but a fresh patch of drying cement and single sign:

"Road Closed"

Item #: SCP-2292

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2292 is to be kept in its canister in a storage locker in Site-33. Testing is to be performed only with authorization from the Site Director. Under no circumstances are testing personnel to view SCP-2292, directly or indirectly.

Description: SCP-2292 is a 21 minute cartoon consisting of original animation and footage compiled from the Arthur television series. It is printed on a reel of 8mm film stored in a non-anomalous film canister.

To be affected by SCP-2292's anomaly, subjects must watch at least 8.5 continuous minutes of the film, including or in addition to the 1 minute, 20 second scene beginning at timestamp 19:25. Subjects meeting this criterion will experience audiovisual hallucinations. Images tend to include the faces of individuals subjects have wronged in the past, though some also see loved ones and family members. Hallucinations have included individuals standing in place, repeating words, floating through the air, and occasionally lashing out at subjects.

Currently, there is no known way to undo the effects of SCP-2292. Subjects typically experience hallucinations a few times per day, but sometimes as frequently as every 20 minutes. Though there is an increased correlation between SCP-2292 viewing and suicide (>60%), it is theorized that there is no compulsion effect, as suicide rates are higher in subjects who previously experienced depression, suicidal thoughts, and/or anxiety disorders. While amnestic treatment can delay hallucinations for upwards of 24 hours in edge cases, the side effects related to and diminishing returns of continuous use are considered to outweigh the benefits.

Addendum 2292-02: Recovery Log

SCP-2292 was recovered on 09/20/2011 from a warehouse in ██████████, Tennessee known as a trading hub for Marshall, Carter and Dark. It had been packed to ship to an address in Iceland which could not be located. The following note was attached to the canister lid:

Dear Mr. [illegible],

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, we do not believe your product would be desirable to our clientele, so we are returning it at the receiver's expense.

We at Marshall, Carter and Dark, ltd., seek to provide unique experiences to the most discerning of clients. We do not dabble in nostalgia, to say nothing of infringement of copyright. We also prefer that our clients not kill themselves after partaking in one of our experiences.

If I may be so bold, the next time you wish to induce such an effect in your audience, you may wish cut straight to it. Your dull poetry is perhaps more fitting of the Artists, and I urge you to contact them for your future needs.

Regards,

-T.T.

Investigation into the business listed on the address label, Ad Nihilo Media c/o Ad Nihilo Press, is ongoing.