Troys Love Of Dog Butts Is Not Healthy And We Need To Talk

This chart uses the Chambliss Produce Distress Scale to compare relative inadequacies in the current writing of each SCP. This scale categorizes the degree of problem that each marked SCP has by comparing them to fruit, on a five-point scale from least troublesome to most:

Pear: Low-level complications; minor phrasing issues, could use some cleanup, low-priority. Slightly misshapen, otherwise still delicious.
Grapefruit: An acquired taste. Still not as good as you remembered. Quite noticeably needs work.
Cucumber: Decent idea, can be turned into something excellent with an investment of effort, time, and dill.
Avocado: Vaguely functional at best. Capable of executing the given idea only when heavily processed and cilantro is added. Best with nachos. Do not touch otherwise. Probably only still available due to shilling by agribusiness lobbyists.
Jicama: Of the devil. Burn all traces. Leave nothing behind. Or rewrite, I guess.

SCP Author Rating CPDS Analysis Problem Details
SCP-801 ProfSniderProfSnider +24 Pear Structure Lede buried too deep. Anomalous features of item not described until eighth paragraph of description.
SCP-802 SpoonOfEvilSpoonOfEvil +62 Pear Tone Just fucks me up with adverbs and weird phrasing. "The music is constantly skipping and stuttering, as if being played on an antique vinyl record player in poor condition."
SCP-804 SortsSorts +267 Pear Tone Use of first-person plural in Description. Actual description and recovery information is all jumbled up in the Description.
SCP-805 Aura VestaAura Vesta +65 Pear Tone Overuse of expungement.
SCP-807 DrClefDrClef +108 Cucumber Tone Pretty lolfoundationy. Cute but goofily written. Could be rewritten into something more serious, but would probably lose its charm.
SCP-809 kabukabu +47 Cucumber Plot Misunderstanding of mental illness, use of "amnesiac", use of an SCP on captured prisoners as an "enhanced interrogation" tool
SCP-812 HK-016HK-016 +45 Grapefruit Plot Lolfoundation researcher note at the end.
SCP-815 kabukabu +52 Pear Tone Lolfoundation researcher note at the end.
SCP-816 DStecksDStecks +98 Grapefruit Tone Whole description reads like a NatGeo article.
SCP-817 Alias PseudonymAlias Pseudonym +38 Pear Tone Iffy redactions.
SCP-819 BremmaBremma +71 Pear Tone Random 05 note in the middle. Sort of a dumb article, that notwithstanding.
SCP-820 pooryoricpooryoric +67 Cucumber Tone Heavy overuse of expungement.
SCP-825 JonnyDJonnyD +40 Avocado Tone Sucks from balls to brasseire. Also the rest of it.
SCP-829 QuikngruvnQuikngruvn +20 Grapefruit Tone Overuse of expungement. Sort of a questionable plot, too.
SCP-832 IngloniasInglonias +60 Jicama Everything It's an anomalous item.
SCP-833 AnaxagorasAnaxagoras +83 Pear Tone Minor shit, adverbs, interview log could be touched up.
SCP-834 DrBrightDrBright +90 Cucumber Tone The Description has two full sentences. Grammar shit. Too many redactions.
SCP-841 kabukabu +66 Avocado Everything Anomalous Item with bells. Misformatted. SCP's name is included in the document. Random GOI insert.
SCP-842 WriskWrisk +63 Pear Expungements Goofy expungements.
SCP-843 kabukabu +58 Grapefruit Plot, Expungements Cute anomalous item. Could use less expungement
SCP-850 kabukabu +48 Grapefruit Expungements,tone I think it sounds like super stilted prose. Either way, too much expungement.
SCP-859 AelannaAelanna +40 Avocado Expungements, plot, shittiness Anomalous item with bells. Overuse of expungements.
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