Item #: SCP-1234
Object Class: Safe/Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: No personnel of any clearance level other than D is permitted to make contact with SCP-1234. SCP-1234 must remain in a room no larger than 150 percent of its height, width, or length. The room must contain no windows or other points of entry except for one door, which must be one-half of the height of SCP-1234. A voltage meter must remain connected to SCP-1234, and any voltage reading higher than ±0V requires immediate investigation by Class D personnel. Any other attempt by personnel to enter the containment area for SCP-1234 is grounds for immediate termination.
Description: SCP-1234 looks like a modern soft drink vending machine. A panel of rectangular buttons labeled with the brand names and logos of soft drinks on the right side and an interior with six rows of soft drink bottles on the left. A mobile conveyor belt moves vertically along the left side of the console. Underneath the buttons is an opening slightly larger than the size of a soft drink bottle, with a circular opening on the left side leading into it. Above the buttons is an 8-character LED display.
SCP-1234 does not have any obvious power source. Attempts to locate a battery compartment or electrical cord have failed.
The machine will dispense one soft drink an indeterminate amount of time after the last one has been taken. No payment is necessary for this to take place. Class D personnel responsible for further research have recorded the time the machine takes to dispense a soft drink when the opening is vacant. Document █-1234 shows tables indicating intervals of 20-120 seconds before the next drink is dispensed.
Users of SCP-1234 have [DATA EXPUNGED] (see "Incidents Relating To SCP-1234.")
Incidents Relating To SCP-1234
The following is a phone conversation (R-140-1) provided by Verizon in February 2008. It is between a middle-aged radio disc jockey named Robert ███████ and Dr. Philip Foley, both residents of ███████████, NY.
Dr. Foley: Okay, Robert. Tell me what you feel right now.
Robert: Nothing too strange, Doctor. It's just been frequent all day, you know, this gas.
Dr. Foley: I take it that it's not usually this frequent? (He stifles a laugh.)
Robert: Doc, this isn't a joke.
Dr. Foley: Can you tell me what happened before this gas started?
Robert: Well, I was in the mood for a drink. Late night at the station. I went upstairs to the vending machine, and saw that there was already a drink in the slot, so you know I just took it. Conveyor belt was stuck, too.
Dr. Foley: Was the bottle opened, Robert?
Robert: Naw, Doctor. That was the weird thing, you know. Like someone bought the thing and forgot to take it. But I mean, what was I to know?
Dr. Foley: Robert, how many times have you been to that machine today?
Dr. Foley: And there's been a drink every time?
The following is another phone conversation between Robert ███████ and Dr. Foley three weeks after recording R-140-1. In this (R-140-2), Robert's voice is significantly hoarser. The quality of this phone conversation is poor.
Dr. Foley: I'm going to suggest rehab.
Robert: Hold on, Doc, will you?
(There are several minutes of silence. When Robert comes back, soft crying comes from his end of the line.)
Robert: There's nothing, Doc.
Dr. Foley: What?
Robert: Nothing! Nothing Doc there's nothing! Nothing in the the th-th-th where there's usually a drink you know? Oh God oh please oh why, I need it, I need it, you don't understand, Doc, I NEED —
Dr. Foley: Calm down, Ro —
(Here there is a long moment of tape hiss.)
Dr. Foley: — uch did you weigh three weeks ago, Robert?
Robert: (between sobs) T-t-two fifty pounds.
Dr. Foley: And how much do you weigh now, Robert?
(On the other end of the line, Robert chokes on mucus in his throat. He coughs, then continues to sob.)
Dr. Foley: Robert? Hello?
Robert: One ninety-five.
The following recording (R-140-3) is a conversation between Dr. Rita LaLonde and Shirley ██████ (another addict to SCP-1234's contents) in the town of ████████, NY, about twenty miles away from ████████. Although the recording is more recent than R-140-2 by a month, the quality of the digital audio file is so bad that analysts could only salvage some of the conversation.
Dr. LaLonde: Shirley, I'm so sorry.
Shirley: (shrieking) What do you mean, you're sorry?!
Dr. LaLonde: If you're feeling pain that strong, then [DATA EXPUNGED] and it's probably already torn. How bad is the bruising?
Shirley: It's huge, all over down there, oh God make it stop —
Dr. LaLonde: Huge?
Shirley: It's a huge growing black and blue spot! It — I — it hurts so much and I'm dizzy Doctor, I'm really dizzy —
Dr. LaLonde: Oh my God.
Shirley: (voice becoming weaker) Ow ow ow fuck ow —
(Here, analysts made out the sound of urinating into a toilet.)
Dr. LaLonde: Shirley, are you —
(A shriek on Shirley's end that causes the audio to drop out.)
Shirley: It's blood, oh God oh no not —
(Shirley makes a pained sound. The line goes silent for three seconds before Dr. LaLonde begins to say Shirley's name. At this point, however, the audio dies out, followed by garbled human voices.)
Attempts to record the composition of the drinks have failed. Document A-1234, "Comparison Of Soft Drinks Between SCP-1234 And Convenience Store", archives Dr. ███████ ███████'s attempts to determine the addictive agent of the liquid in SCP-1234's contents. In every experiment, according to notes scrawled by Dr. ███████, tests have proved "negative."
Addendum: There is no record as to how many objects like SCP-1234 currently exist. The serial number CKVN-713300 is embossed on the bottom of the console. When contacted, the manufacturer of SCP-1234 did not have CKVN-713300 in their database, which consists of all products manufactured since 19██.
Addendum: Class D personnel have reported seeing the word "KIND" flash on the LCD display during periods of time when SCP-1234 is active.