Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be contained in a guarded medium security storage room at Reliquary Research and Containment Site-76. Every day at the specified delivery times, the door on the left side of SCP-XXX is to be unlocked with the key hereafter designated SCP-XXX-1. The mail contained within is to be immediately incinerated, and the door is to be re-locked. SCP-XXX-1 is to be held by the guard on duty outside the storage room. If the Class D personnel emptying the mailbox attempts to open any of the letters, they are to be tranquilized, and dosed with a Class A Amnesiac before being reassigned.
Description: SCP-XXX appears to be an average mailbox of the type seen outside most post offices. It is stamped with the logo of a postage company called "Speedy Delivery". No postage company with this name exists. Every day at 1100 and 1600 hours, the box is filled with letters, even if it was previously empty. The letters bear no postage mark, but are otherwise completely normal except for the fact that when their authors are questioned about their contents, the authors deny ever writing them. The average letter contains information that the author at one time or another contemplated writing a letter to someone about, but decided not to for reasons of tact or safety.
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
The Capybara Trap
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be contained in its cell, a windowless room 4m x 4m x 3m, unless being used for testing. This cell is to be lined with 5mm of telekill, and is to have no visual monitoring devices. Before transport, SCP-XXX is to be sealed in a box lined with telekill alloy, to prevent any visual or mental contact. All personnel engaged in experimentation except test subjects are to wear tele-kill headgear. Under no circumstances is anyone to enter the storage room unless they possess an experimentation permit, and are accompanied by armed guards.
Description: SCP-XXX appears to be an exceedingly large 'Victor' brand mouse trap, measuring 4 meters by 1.5 meters. Other than its unusual size, it operates on the same principle as a normal mouse trap. The substance it appears to be baited with varies from person to person. Even if multiple people are in the same room, each will perceive the bait as something they desire. SCP-XXX also has the effect of giving a viewer extreme confidence that they can remove the bait without triggering the trap. This effect is nullified by telekill alloy.
Origin: SCP-XXX was discovered in 1903 by British explorer █████ ██████ in South America, near the village of ██████. The trap was set, and was surrounded by skeletons and decomposing corpses of various animals, including one human. ██████'s journal entry describing the trap states that "this trap would catch a rodent of astounding proportions. Perhaps a capybara?" Upon returning to England, ██████ sold the trap to an antiquities dealer named ████ █████ in 1905. A few days later, █████ was found dead in his shop, his upper torso crushed almost completely by the striker bar. Three policemen were required to pull the massive spring up far enough to enable the corpse's removal. When the policemen returned with a wagon to easier transport the trap, it was found to be set again. The trap moved from person to person, being sold after each owner's death until 1976, when it was acquired by an SCP agent at an auction, but not through the purchase of the item. While the bidding on the object was occuring, the trap happened to spring up and catch the auctioneer in the leg, completely severing it. He bled out several seconds later. The agent was evacuated with the rest of the patrons, and then snuck back into the auction house to pose as an MI5 Agent, and retrieved the trap.
Addendum: SCP-XXX has been responsible for the deaths or injuries of approximately ██ Foundation personnel, and experimentation is to cease without O-5 clearance. See Incident Reports and Interview 1A for details.
Interviewed: Agent ████
Interviewer: Dr. ███████
Foreword: Interview with Agent ████ on how he acquired SCP-XXX and brought it into Foundation custody.
<Begin Log, [1300 hours, 24.01.79]>
Dr. ███████: Hello, ██████, how are you feeling today?
Agent ████: How does it look like I'm feeling?! I only have one bloody arm now, because of that damn thing!
Dr. ███████: How exactly did you lose your arm?
Agent ████: You damn well know how I lost my [REDACTED] arm!
Dr. ███████ rubs his temples, and takes a long, deep breath.
Dr. ███████: ██████, It's for the record. You know the drill.
Agent ████: Uh, yeah… Sorry Doc. I guess I'm just a little stressed out, is all.
Dr. ███████: It happens to all of us.
Agent ████ suddenly leaps from his chair, pushing it backwards onto the floor.
Agent ████: IT DOES NOT BLOODY HAPPEN TO [EXPUNGED] ALL OF US! NO ONE LOSES THEIR [REDACTED] ARM IN A [EXPUNGED] GIANT MOUSE TRAP!
Agent ████ begins to become physically violent, and a team of technicians enter to sedate the agent as he is pulled away to calm down.
Dr. ███████: I guess that's that, then…
<Begin Log, [1400 Hours, 24.01.79]
Foreword: // Continued interview with Agent ████//
Agent ████: Sorry, Doc… About before.
Dr. ███████: It's fine, ██████, Anyone would get upset after what you've gone through.
Agent ████: Anyways, I assume you want me to tell you how I acquired the thing?
Dr. ███████ Nods
Agent ████: Well, I was at an auction held by [REDACTED], you see, because I have an interest in old crap. Anyways this giant "Capybara Trap" is eventually put up for auction. After hearing the backstory on it, I thought it might be of some interest to the Foundation. So I started to bid on it using Foundation funds.
Dr. ███████: You know, that's expressly forbidden without your supervisor's approval.
Agent ████: Well, I think I got my punishment for it already. Indicates missing arm Anyways, like I was saying. People were bidding on this thing left and right, you see? And the Auctioneer, he leaves his podium and paces while pointing at bidders and screaming out bids like a cheetah on speed. Anyways, he gets close to the trap, and I guess his foot accidentally nudged it or something, because it snapped right up and cut his bloody leg clean off! We were all stunned for a second, then a woman started screaming and we were all evacuated while The Yard and paramedics came. While everyone was evacuated, I snuck into a bathroom with my rucksack and pulled out my trenchcoat for stormy weather, cause it was rainy, you see? and then it dawns on me that this could be an opportunity to nag the item for the foundation, so I get out my pack of manufactured agency ID's, and pull out my MI5 one. Well I walk back into the Auction House proper, and flash my ID and say that MI5 wants this thing in their custody. Scotland Yard wasn't happy, but they know not to argue with Her Majesty's Spooks, ya know? So They pack this thing up into the back of a flatbed, and somehow it's back to being set, and it was just kinda a passing curiousity at first, ya know? Well anyways I get behind the wheel of this flatbed and drive to a gas station about fifteen miles out of town, and call and request an official escort and transport for the artifact from that location to the nearest Site. Well, while I'm waiting for Artifact Retrieval to show up, I study the bloody thing a bit more, ya know? Out of curiosity. Well anyways I'm right parched I am right around this time, and I notice that there's an ice-cold beer sitting on the trigger for the trap. I don't know how the hell it got there, but I wasn't about to ask questions, was I? And if a sum-odd ounce bottle of beer doesn't trip the trap, I could certainly lift it without causeing much of a disturbance. Well the very SECOND I touch that beer the whole damn thing slices off my arm. Thank God himself that A.R. came not long after that, or I would've been a goner.
Dr. ███████: Thank you, ██████, I think that's enough for one day. You should go get some rest.
Agent ████ (Under his breath): Damn straight I should… I should get a pay raise, too…
Conversation that inspired the Capybara Trap
<Sack_of_Wombats> That gives me an idea for an SCP.
<Sack_of_Wombats> A Capybara trap.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> What idea?
<Sack_of_Wombats> Imagine a mouse trap the size of a small car.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> That's a big mousetrap
<Sack_of_Wombats> It appears in inconvenient places.
<Sack_of_Wombats> You know in the three stooges how there was always a mousetrap hidden under something?
<Sack_of_Wombats> Curly would go to get some food and SNAP.
<Sack_of_Wombats> You open your garage door, drive in, and BAM
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> But where do Capybaras fit it?
<Sack_of_Wombats> Largest rodent.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Or I could just call it the Man trap.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> nah, Capybara.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Well, a small trap is for a mouse.
<Sack_of_Wombats> A medium sized trap is for a rat.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> That would give an element of humor
<Sack_of_Wombats> What would a trap this big be used for?
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> A… Capybara?
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> I seee…. *Malevolent look*
<Sack_of_Wombats> However, since there are not many hiding places in the jungle…
<Sack_of_Wombats> It was easily found and brought back to Britain as a novelty.
<Sack_of_Wombats> The antiquities dealer was found dead with his body crushed severely at the waist.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> And no evidence of the culprit
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> the trap was inherited and sold
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> and then…
<Sack_of_Wombats> It took three officers to prise the massive spring up far enough for the body to be removed.
<Sack_of_Wombats> I SHALL BEGIN WRITING
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> It shall be ours?
<Sack_of_Wombats> TO THE SANDBOX!
<Sack_of_Wombats> Whose shall we make it on?
<Sack_of_Wombats> But then he'll get the credit.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> Then yours
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> =[ I'm tired, sorry. =p
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> Stupid mistake.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Was scrolled all the way up.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Did not meen to say indeed.
<Sack_of_Wombats> It is perfectly fine.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> lol its ok
<Sack_of_Wombats> The officers left the trap sprung, but it was set when they returned with a flatbed truck.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> D= CREEPY! =D
<Sack_of_Wombats> Especially considering the spring's made of one inch steel bar.
<Sack_of_Wombats> WHAR IS SANDBOX
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> That's awesome.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> But… Idk where it is?
<Sack_of_Wombats> MUST FIND
<Sack_of_Wombats> BEFORE WE FORGET
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> Your sandbocks?
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> ur* Sandbocks?
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> I dunt kno whar eet izz…
<Sack_of_Wombats> IUt's at the top if site19.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Here we are.
<Sack_of_Wombats> I shall begin writing.
<Sack_of_Wombats> You can look over what I have so far for my other idea.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> I like it. It's interesting.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> It'd definitely help me write letters
<Sack_of_Wombats> Came up with that one yesterday.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Scary thing is, it was found outside an abandoned post office.
<Sack_of_Wombats> If anyone had tried to deliver the mail…
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> I can't plaigerize myself, can I?
<Sack_of_Wombats> How could you plagarize yourself?
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> I guess I couldn't
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> But if I ever stopped writing a letter because I didn't know what to write or how to write something
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> That would definitely help me
<Sack_of_Wombats> Oh my god. I found the perfect image.
<Sack_of_Wombats> And the bait alters depending on who is viewing the trap.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Each person sees something they desire.
<Sack_of_Wombats> For example, if the guard on duty is thirsty, he looks inside, and sees the trap baited with a cold beer.
<Sack_of_Wombats> It also has a psychic effect of giving people extreme confidence that they can remove the bait without setting off the trap.
<Sack_of_Wombats> We could actually have that happen, then have the trap relocated to a room without windows.
<Sack_of_Wombats> The marine was guarding it.
<Sack_of_Wombats> During transport.
<Sack_of_Wombats> A cold beer…
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> But that's outside.
<Sack_of_Wombats> No, this is when they were transporting it to the facility.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> So it'd have to be outside temp. containment.
<Sack_of_Wombats> This would also relate to 682.
<Sack_of_Wombats> 682 would look at the trap, and then be like "Naaah."
<Sack_of_Wombats> I FEEL SO ALIVE RIGHT NWO
<Sack_of_Wombats> Safe, or Euclid?
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> No, we could try and use it as an anti-682 device, only like 999, it reveals a new power
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> euclid definitely
<Sack_of_Wombats> I had better get in.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> like he is the only one able to not trip the trap or something
<Sack_of_Wombats> Okay, so for safety procedures, I'd put the thing in about being removed to a room without windows after incident XXX-1a.
<Sack_of_Wombats> A baby appears on the trap plate.
<Sack_of_Wombats> To make 682 look even more disturbing.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> A baby human
<Sack_of_Wombats> Oh, even better.
<Sack_of_Wombats> 682 triggered the release mechanism, but the spring remained coiled.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> and maybe, maybe it can appear to Abel.
<Sack_of_Wombats> Let's see.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> The spring remains coiled until researchers come to get it
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> and then it snaps on the researchers
<Sack_of_Wombats> Even better. They try to use a forklift.
<Sack_Of_Capybaras> It destroys the forklift?
<Sack_of_Wombats> It snaps on the forklift shattering the fuel tank resulting in [REDACTED}casualties.